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Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

464 replies

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 12:29

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week Grin

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

OP posts:
RosesandPumpkins · 16/11/2020 18:15

I’m so jealous! Mine are little still so I have several years to go of my ex’s twattery.

Chucklecheeks01 · 16/11/2020 18:16

Please tell him you're going to fight it all the way to court and you await his solicitors letter.

PicsInRed · 16/11/2020 18:17

@WankPuffins

I have receive the usual "?" Text that I always get when I don't reply to ridiculous texts.

It will be followed in a few hours by "??"

And then probably around bedtime I'll get a "???"

The most he's ever got to was "????????" I remember that as he'd text me some inane nonsense (it was that Ds should have therapy as he may be upset that I was having another child) just as I was arriving at hospital for my section with my now 6 year old. I got the increasing "???" messages when I turned my phone on the next morning Grin

I doubt your son was the Big Bubbie who was upset about your new baby at the time and this one now. He's not over it, is he? 10 days to Block Day. "DS is 18 today. Byeeeeee" 😂

This thread is such a treat - these guys are legion aren't they? A legion of absolute woobles.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Plussizejumpsuit · 16/11/2020 18:18

Grin what a dick. Will you be rid of him once your son turns 18?!

TwentyViginti · 16/11/2020 18:20

woobles

My new favourite word I'm going to steal Grin

Florelei · 16/11/2020 18:27

Please do what @Chucklecheeks01 suggests! 😂😂

endofthelinefinally · 16/11/2020 18:34

TheFormidableMrsC

I followed all your original threads. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope your treatment is going well and sorry that you are still dealing with the idiot and his obnoxious partner.

Sorry - don't mean to derail your thread OP.

PicsInRed · 16/11/2020 18:37

@TwentyViginti

woobles

My new favourite word I'm going to steal Grin

Steal away, I may have stolen it myself. 😂

...here's a pic of all our ex's constructing their latest cunning bid for attention revenge plan.

Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.
NatashaAlianovaRomanova · 16/11/2020 18:40

I'm long shot of my useless wanker ex-h now DD's are 19 & 20 but a particular gem was the day he returned then 3 & 4 yo DD's in unwashed pants (they'd been sitting from the Friday until the Sunday in a pile to be put back on the girls for returning 🤢) his reasoning - he wasn't doing my laundry!

He never threatened me with going for full custody though probably scared I'd agree Grin

Fudgsicles · 16/11/2020 18:44

Well you can see where your exH has got his twatishness from then!!

I think my reply would just be 'cool story bro' and leave it at that 😆.

Bestbigsister · 16/11/2020 19:04

Oh oh oh! I’ve got a fresh one here! Soon TBX has moved out, and now lives an hours’ drive away, so a 2 hour round trip when he sees the kids. His choice. He’s decided that despite wanting 50/50 contact, he can now only do every other weekend, and wanted to know why I wouldn’t drive them over. I pointed out it was his weekend, he’d hardly seen them etc and so he worked out the cost of petrol and wear and tear on his monster sized merc, and then deducted it from the teeny maintenance he pays. I pointed out that he was charging me to see his own kids. He had them for a few hours, brought them home and was “too busy” to see them the next day. What a prince.

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 19:10

@endofthelinefinally

TheFormidableMrsC

I followed all your original threads. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope your treatment is going well and sorry that you are still dealing with the idiot and his obnoxious partner.

Sorry - don't mean to derail your thread OP.

Oh don't be daft. @TheFormidableMrsC is deserving of a derail with all she's had to contend with.
OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 16/11/2020 19:11

[quote WankPuffins]@TheFormidableMrsC mine left me too. Well, he didn't. He had an affair with the woman he's now married to, but I had the audacity to leave him and show him up. Which is where all the hatred on his part comes from.[/quote]
Christ on a bike. What is WRONG WITH THEM??!!! How dare you leave the cheating bastard! I am glad you've got the lovely life you deserve now! Your thread has cheered me no end, it feels somehow comforting that there are so many of us in the same boat!

Happy 18th to DS!!

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 19:11

@Bestbigsister

Oh oh oh! I’ve got a fresh one here! Soon TBX has moved out, and now lives an hours’ drive away, so a 2 hour round trip when he sees the kids. His choice. He’s decided that despite wanting 50/50 contact, he can now only do every other weekend, and wanted to know why I wouldn’t drive them over. I pointed out it was his weekend, he’d hardly seen them etc and so he worked out the cost of petrol and wear and tear on his monster sized merc, and then deducted it from the teeny maintenance he pays. I pointed out that he was charging me to see his own kids. He had them for a few hours, brought them home and was “too busy” to see them the next day. What a prince.
Why are they like that? I mean it's not like you go into a relationship with them thinking they might turn into absolute twats but so many do!
OP posts:
mineofuselessinformation · 16/11/2020 19:11

Is anyone else picturing a new tv show where all of these utter pricks have to go and live together?
The number of arguments that would go on about their rights and who had to pay for what is unimaginable.....
Perhaps it could be called 'Big Dicks House' apostrophe deliberately left out for added meaning.
Can I nominate my ex for the first series? (It's clear from this thread there would need to be more than one.) Grin

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 19:13

@PicsInRed it really ramps up when I'm pregnant. I know they have tried to conceive themselves over the years. I was even blamed for them not being able to afford IVF in a huge rant once because he paid maintenance for Ds. I get the upset, I really do. But there's no need to take it out on me and ds.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 16/11/2020 19:14

@endofthelinefinally

TheFormidableMrsC

I followed all your original threads. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope your treatment is going well and sorry that you are still dealing with the idiot and his obnoxious partner.

Sorry - don't mean to derail your thread OP.

@endofthelinefinally

Thank you so much for your kind words! I didn't want to derail the thread either but I am really grateful for the lovely messages!

I am doing very well thanks and expect to make a full recovery (I've been told!). I am really hoping that the end is nigh as far as they are concerned. I wouldn't say that's a happy union given the gossip and local rumours but you know, you reap what you sow in life don't you? I hope once they bugger off to Scotland that will be the end of it. Onwards!!

TheFormidableMrsC · 16/11/2020 19:15

I do wish MN had a "like option"...I'd be here all day Grin

CorvusPurpureus · 16/11/2020 19:18

Oh and another one - xh has a long history where he 'disappears' all nice clothes worn by/sent with the dc.

After a bit, they got wise to this, & fed up with wearing a nice new pair of jeans or whatever to visit dad, then not seeing them again until their next visit, when they'd quite like to wear them in between.

So they took to rocking up at his in stuff they didn't care about, so scruffy/about to be outgrown.

He complained bitterly that I was clearly neglecting them & not buying them new clothes. He also grumbled that he'd returned a bag of dirty clothes because they were 'old & not worth me keeping', & the kids had subsequently returned to his with the same clothes washed, but not ironed.

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 19:23

@CorvusPurpureus

Oh and another one - xh has a long history where he 'disappears' all nice clothes worn by/sent with the dc.

After a bit, they got wise to this, & fed up with wearing a nice new pair of jeans or whatever to visit dad, then not seeing them again until their next visit, when they'd quite like to wear them in between.

So they took to rocking up at his in stuff they didn't care about, so scruffy/about to be outgrown.

He complained bitterly that I was clearly neglecting them & not buying them new clothes. He also grumbled that he'd returned a bag of dirty clothes because they were 'old & not worth me keeping', & the kids had subsequently returned to his with the same clothes washed, but not ironed.

So many seem to have an obsession with clothes too.

At first, he would have clothes at his house that Ds had to wear there. He wasn't allowed to wear clothes from home - he had to get changed out of 'my' clothes the second he walked though the door.

Oh, and when he bought these clothes he would, of course, deduct them from the maintenance even though Ds wasn't allowed to bring them home.

It got frankly ridiculous when he would send me photos of Ds on holiday for a week in clothes that were exactly the same as he had at home (Ds was obsessed with a certain cartoon and wanted the t shirts/jumpers with the characters on).

It lasted a year before Ds started refusing and quite rightly, wanting to bring and wear his own clothes from home.

Bloody hell, if i wrote down every twatty thing he's ever done it would be the length of war and peace.

OP posts:
Iwantacookie · 16/11/2020 19:33

GrinGrin that has made me giggle. This is something ds2 dad would try. Actually I'm STILL waiting for him to go for full custody which he announced 7ish years ago after walking off and not seeing ds2 for 18 months. Telling me I was a vile person for keeping a child away from his father.

lesleyashfishlips · 16/11/2020 19:37

Sounds like the charmer my sister was married to- is there some kind of place where they churn them out? Highlights of his assholery include:

Wanting to install a video doorbell so he could check that the visitors to my sisters house were suitable for his (teen) girls. He'd have a heart attack if he saw older teen's boyfriend.
Judge said no to this.

Instead of paying maintenance he wanted to send a sainsburys delivery each week of microwave ready meals so he knew the girls were getting a 'balanced main meal' instead of 'that foreign muck' sister's new husband serves up. BIL is a trained cordon bleu chef and you can never leave their house without enough food to feed the 5000 for the next day's meal. All delicious btw.
Judge said no this request. Maintenance now paid direct from his pay packet.

3rd and final time in a year, when the judge not only said no but banned him from appearing (he appears in person) in court again. Ex husband was concerned that sister wasnt providing a balance of wholesome family activities and experiences. And keeping the family calendar updated with her plans for these activities. Because lets face it, what teen girl wants to leave their duvet and mobile behind and go traipsing around some country house, castle or nature reserve in the name of wholesome family activities.

Did I forget to mention he's a colossal asshole of the very highest degree?

Blueberries0112 · 16/11/2020 19:46

Let him win :)

Littleposh · 16/11/2020 20:00

Only popping back to see if we're up to ???? yet ??!!

Ron1984 · 16/11/2020 20:01

Too many to mention here, the level of wankishness (new word..?) has been pretty strong throughout alongside the £1.30 per month average child support which I have enjoyed. I tip my hat to you all ladies

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