Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 4

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Previous question:

Why has my DH asked me to go to the shop?

My answer: Because he needs the new PS5 so desperately!

My question: Why is it so bloody difficult to buy from Boots online?

Because they've been in the oven too long

Why aren't I asleep?

They have a very small puncture.

What is the point of a sloth?

To sit and be cute. (Opinions may vary.)

Why do ads on TV or the radio saythetermsandconditionslikethis?

Because the person saying it has from the corner of their eye just clocked an Alpaca running directly at them.
Alpacas detest the phrase 'saythetermsandconditionslikethis' & can hear it from anywhere in the universe.

Can Alpacas see the phrase 'saythetermsandconditionslikethis' from anywhere in the universe & should I start running?

Yes ,yes they can ,run as fast as you can!
How did I get an ulcer on the top of my mouth ?

Free gift from Amazon for being a loyal customer

Why can't I stop buying stocking gifts for DDs?

Because of your love of stockings
When will the Badgers take over the world ?

Friday 5th December at 5pm & from that moment on life will be great......well back to normal.....yay!

Why is Boris a spineless wonder?

His father was a jellyfish

What's the time Mr Wolf?

Pimms o'clock of course.

Will DB's birthday card get to him on time given that I haven't sent it yet and birthday is on Tuesday?

Yes it will get to him in time for his birthday in 2021
I'm cooking a small chicken for lunch how many meals should I get out of it ?

A weeks meals for a family of four, a dog, cat and goldfish, plus enogh left over to make soup for a Hundred homeless people.

How will DH fare at Asda getting DD (aged7) new school shoes and coat? (And why do 7yos grow at inconvenient times?)

He will come home with a new coat and shoes that are completely the wrong size and colour ,children need to stop growing full stop!
What does my dog dream about?

Having his own pet badger

Why has everyone abandoned us?

Too busy Christmas shopping.

Why has the post not come yet?

The postman hasn't finished reading you letters yet

Will tonight's dinner recipe be a success or a flopwith the children?

It will be a massive hit as you are serving chicken nuggets,smiley faces and baked beans
Why is Mumsnet obsessed with topics nobody cares about in real life?

Because no one listens in real life. Are you dissing badgers???

Is the Mumsnet badger Mr Lumpy on facebook?

No he's Mr Lumpy's little brother & just as gorgeous. They are one very good looking family like all Badgers.

Why is it never a good idea to post on MN when extremely merry especially when you don't remember the next day?

Because most mumsnetters are tee total and are shocked and horrified that some people enjoy drinking to the point of getting very merry ( Hic)
Do Badgers enjoy getting merry?

They love nettle wine.

Who let the dogs (badgers) out?

The Badgers let themselves out.
They don't have dogs as pets they prefer cats & alpacas.

Who got murdered on the dance floor?

Santa Claus.

Who will inherit his round?

Yodel drivers. And everything will arrive in the right place at the right time.

Do elves get January off?

No, they run the Complaints Department then. They get February off.

What do badgers want for Christmas?