Is this a shitty thing to do?

[00100001]

DH had today off work, and needed the car. So he dropped me off at work (7mon car journey, 1hr+ walk along country lanes and hills) in morning and was to collect me at 4:30

I was looking every few minutes from around 4:20. My office looks onto the road.
It gets to 4:40, no sign. I WhatsApp him asking when he's due. Not read. I ring him, No answer. I start to get worried. Ring him on his work mobile, no answer. Eventually at 5:10, he WhatsApp me saying he was there are 4:25, and had waited 10 minutes, and then drove home...

I asked where he'd parked, because I had kept an eye out. He'd parked in the car park near reception, which is near my office, but you can't see it from there iyswim? (So how I was supposed to know he was there, is beyond me)

Reception was open and manned, so he could have asked them to ring me, as he didn't have his phone on him.

But no, he's being arsey because he thinks i should have been stood outside waiting for him at exactly 4:30...

Was that shitty of him to leave after 10 minutes?

Jeez, the comments on this thread have made me so angry. OP, you are not being unreasonable...

For a start, it sounds as though you were doing him a favour by letting him have the car for the day when you'd normally drive yourself to work.

Then, he doesn't have his phone. Ok, people forget their phones.

But he parked in a different spot to one he has never parked up in before (all 40 times over the last 7 years). It's not as if you were both in an unfamiliar place or one you hadn't been collected from before.

Someone said you should have checked where he was picking you up from. Why should you, when the normal arrangement (40 times over 7 years in case any one missed that bit), was for you to look out your office window and him park in the bay.

Then he drove home without checking up on you.

You are so not the one being unreasonable here.

Yes, possibly you might have thought to check the carpark, but in the scenario described (and with 40 previous occasions to go on - worth repeating for those who dont get that bit!), I can see why that wasnt your immediate thought.

Heck, if you'd gone to check the carpark, you'd have posters saying "why didnt you phone/text him first?"

I think if he'd apologised and admitted being a twat for parking elsewhere for the first time in seven years, then you wouldn't be so annoyed.

Very strange behaviour. I don’t know why he would park in a different spot to where he has always picked you up in the past on the day he doesn’t have a phone with him. Even stranger than he made no attempt to find out where you were and to only wait 10 minutes and drive off.

Why do people ask questions and then get annoyed by the answer? If you know your husband was wrong and shitty (despite agreeing to pick you up twice which I'm pretty sure my husband wouldn't have) then don't bother to ask.
If you do ask you got to expect some people won't agree with you.
I'm just baffled by the fact you didn't check to see if he was parked elsewhere.

I'm just baffled by the fact you didn't check to see if he was parked elsewhere.

@Rosebel - did you miss the bit where the OP said that he'd parked in the bay just outside her office window every single time he picked her up for the last seven years?

And even if she had gone to check if he'd parked elsewhere, she had a very small window of catching him - between 4.30 (the agreed pick up time, yes I know he was there at 4.25) and 4.35pm as he'd driven off by then.

What if she'd gone to check at 4.37pm? He wouldn't have been there.

Another two things (I'm obviously over invested in this...)

What if OP had waited outside Reception or near the carpark and her husband parked up in the usual place, so they didnt see each other?

Who'd be in the wrong then? The OP for standing somewhere different for the first time in seven years of this arrangement? Or her DH for sticking to the usual arrangement?

What's puzzling me @00100001 is why did it take your DH until 5.10pm to contact you? He left your office at 4.35 and the journey home takes about 7 minutes. Even adding on a generous 10 minutes for traffic, he would have been home by 4.52pm why did he wait almost 20 minutes to get in touch with you?

Op, I think you have your answer.

There's lots of nastiness on this thread. Ignore the haters. It's them not you!

I think that he’d parked somewhere else put the onus on him to let OP know that. Rather than have her guess where he might be.

He only gave her 10 minutes of stumbling around looking for him time, then decided to fuck off and let her fend for herself without even telling her.

Can we imagine for a moment that this isn’t his wife, but his mother or teenage daughter? Gees some people are so pissed off that their own husbands don’t pick them up that they are taking it out on OP and acting like she’s in the wrong for her husband making no attempt to contact her and driving off without her.

I’m erring on the side of - he never came. The first time he came was 5.10. I’d be watching him closely OP

I'm also erring on the side that he was never there at 4.25.

To me, it seems more plausible that he lost track of time for whatever reason, suddenly realised at 5.10, which is when he saw your messages/missed calls, but rather admit he wasn't there, made up a story about parking somewhere different for the first time, and driving home again.

Otherwise, if he had been there when he said he was, why didn't he contact you as soon as he was home again to ask where you were, instead of waiting 20-30 minutes?

I think I would be checking the CCTV just for my own sanity.

I agree that him not being there makes the most sense.

Why would you drive home (5mins past the time that the person was supposed to be there) without checking that the person you are collecting is still there-and risk having to do the journey again?

Haven't rtft but it's fucking weird and shitty.