Is this a shitty thing to do?

[00100001]

DH had today off work, and needed the car. So he dropped me off at work (7mon car journey, 1hr+ walk along country lanes and hills) in morning and was to collect me at 4:30

I was looking every few minutes from around 4:20. My office looks onto the road.
It gets to 4:40, no sign. I WhatsApp him asking when he's due. Not read. I ring him, No answer. I start to get worried. Ring him on his work mobile, no answer. Eventually at 5:10, he WhatsApp me saying he was there are 4:25, and had waited 10 minutes, and then drove home...

I asked where he'd parked, because I had kept an eye out. He'd parked in the car park near reception, which is near my office, but you can't see it from there iyswim? (So how I was supposed to know he was there, is beyond me)

Reception was open and manned, so he could have asked them to ring me, as he didn't have his phone on him.


But no, he's being arsey because he thinks i should have been stood outside waiting for him at exactly 4:30...

Was that shitty of him to leave after 10 minutes?

[00100001]

@Frdd

But if there’s another car park it’s not unreasonable he might have been parked there

But would you have parked in a different place to normal, especially when there was no reason to, and you didn't have your phone on you to let me. Know?

[Frdd]

If you had been outside at 4.30 ready to be picked up it,wouldn’t have happened.

I honestly think it’s 6 and 2 x 3

[Frdd]

I would have parked in the car park. I wouldn’t park in a drop off. And I’d expect you to come out at 4.30.

By the same token, if I was him I’d have gone and asked for you at reception.

As I said, mix up, 6 and 2 3s and no harm done.

[RainingBatsAndFrogs]

Just bad communication all round.

He parked by Reception , and arrived early, to be ready for you coming out at 4.30 as agreed and not get wet in the drizzle.

You didn’t go down at 4.30, the agreed pick up time.

It was mad of him to drive off, but he probably went back to get his phone.

Does he even know what areas of the car park you can and can’t see?

He got there at 4.25 ready for you to come out at the agreed time. You didn’t.

You are both BU.

[00100001]

@Frdd

If you had been outside at 4.30 ready to be picked up it,wouldn’t have happened.

I honestly think it’s 6 and 2 x 3

I agree that we wouldn't have missed each other.

But would you have just driven off after waiting 10 minutes without trying to contact me in any way.?

[Frdd]

I have already answered that.

[TheyreComingToGetYouBarbara]

Aside from it being rude and unkind to leave you stranded, it was stupid of him, too, because it ended with him having to drive back again! Waste of time and fuel.

Ideally, you should have discussed exactly what was going to happen, so you'd know to go out and meet him at 4:30, but it was ridiculous of him to go off in a huff when you didn't appear. Unless he had a good reason to suspect that you'd found another way home, he was unreasonable to just leave without attempting to find out if you were inside.

[KooKooKachu]

@SummerHouse

[Witchend]

I pick dh up from work not infrequently. We agree a time to meet, he comes down at that time and looks for me.
I'd only expect to text him if I wasn't sure what time I'd arrive, or I arrived late so he might have gone back inside.

[KooKooKachu]

I wouldn't do what your DH did to anyone I had agreed to pick up. I would tend to only pick people up who I actually care about, and assuming your DH does care about you, then his behaviour is frankly odd.

It is inconvenient being 'held up' when you've agreed to pick someone up a certain time, but ya know, life happens and me being me, I would automatically assume you had been help up at work for whatever reason and I'd go and exhaust all logical outlets (ask at reception for instance) before fucking off home.

[KooKooKachu]

Held*

[Zucker]

He forgot to collect you is my guess. I'd be checking the cctv on Monday purely because he's being such an arse about it all.

[Dawnlassie]

Poor communication from both of you. Why didnt either of you phone at 4:30?

Dont have an argument but decide how it can be avoided next time.

[SavoyCabbage]

I've never ever had a job where I could guarantee that I'd be finished bang on time and then be able to exit the building within five minutes.

What if you were just finishing something or someone asked you a question or you went to the toilet or washed your cup.

[GreyHare]

So you seem to have evaded answering the question of if you went down to reception/outside would you have seen the car? If the answer is yes and I presume it is as you have evaded answering it then I would say it's your fault for not leaving the building, doesn't stop him being an arse for leaving but you are equally an arse for only looking out the window.

[Piwlyfbicsly]

What an unhealthy behaviour from your DH. I mean... mine would just text “I’m downstairs” or “I’m here”. I don’t get it.

[00100001]

@GreyHare

So you seem to have evaded answering the question of if you went down to reception/outside would you have seen the car? If the answer is yes and I presume it is as you have evaded answering it then I would say it's your fault for not leaving the building, doesn't stop him being an arse for leaving but you are equally an arse for only looking out the window.

Well, yes, in hindsight I could have walked to the car park to find him.

But I had no reason to expect him to be there, when all the other times, he has pulled into the bay, and I come out to him around 30s later.


All I knew was, he wasn't in the normal space at the normal time. I was unable to get hold of him. So, I was ringing him, and then his work mobile number, then trying to work out what might have happened and what to do next... All the time he was sitting down the way... Not bothering to tell anyone he was there.

[Batshittery]

@Piwlyfbicsly

What an unhealthy behaviour from your DH. I mean... mine would just text “I’m downstairs” or “I’m here”. I don’t get it.

If you read the thread, you'd see that DH didn't have his phone

[00100001]

@Dawnlassie

Poor communication from both of you. Why didnt either of you phone at 4:30?

Dont have an argument but decide how it can be avoided next time.

Why would i ring at 4:30 on the dot? I waited in case he was late, for traffic or any reason really.

[00100001]

@Frdd

I have already answered that.

But why would you park in a different place to normal when you have no way of telling me, nor make any attempt to let me know the change of location via the receptionist ?

[OhioOhioOhio]

It's awful but, very helpful information, you now know where you are on his agenda.

[pincertoe]

I think you are both to blame, you should have gone out at 4.30 and waited - even if you waited in reception and kept popping out and he should have gone looking when you didn't show up.

[saraclara]

He shouldn't have gone without checking with reception. But you should have gone out and looked for him. I wouldn't have assumed he'd park in the drop off if there's a car park as well.

It would never occur to me to rely on looking out of the window if someone was picking me up.

[JenniferSantoro]

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t be waiting downstairs for him if he was coming for you at a particular time. Strange for him to drive off, although you did say he came back for you. Just sounds like poor communication from the pair of you.

[ExclamationPerfume]

@00100001 You seem very reluctant to take any blame for the situation. He was doing you a favour and you couldn't be bothered to be ready on time.