Is this a shitty thing to do?

[00100001]

DH had today off work, and needed the car. So he dropped me off at work (7mon car journey, 1hr+ walk along country lanes and hills) in morning and was to collect me at 4:30

I was looking every few minutes from around 4:20. My office looks onto the road.
It gets to 4:40, no sign. I WhatsApp him asking when he's due. Not read. I ring him, No answer. I start to get worried. Ring him on his work mobile, no answer. Eventually at 5:10, he WhatsApp me saying he was there are 4:25, and had waited 10 minutes, and then drove home...

I asked where he'd parked, because I had kept an eye out. He'd parked in the car park near reception, which is near my office, but you can't see it from there iyswim? (So how I was supposed to know he was there, is beyond me)

Reception was open and manned, so he could have asked them to ring me, as he didn't have his phone on him.


But no, he's being arsey because he thinks i should have been stood outside waiting for him at exactly 4:30...

Was that shitty of him to leave after 10 minutes?

[00100001]

@nimbuscloud

Why did you not include in your first post the fact that he had forgotten his phone and also that he did come back and collect you ?

Well, I did mention he didn't have his phone.

And I realised too late that I forgot to say he came back.

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Well, I can check the cctv on Monday I suppose

What?! For real?!

[00100001]

Yes. If I really want to, I can. I have the access.

I mean, I won't. But I could.

[shrill]

My first thought was he didn't actually come for you and wait like he said. My second thought was why didn't he check his ohone when he got home to phone you then he would have seen your checking him. Check cctv but if you need to do but is this the way he often behaves towards you? Would you treat him like this?

[diddl]

Supposing he had parked elsewhere though, how long would you have stayed in your office before going to look?

[Mylittlepony374]

I would be furious if my husband did this.

[dooratheexplorer]

Did I read that right? He sat in the car for 10 minutes then drove home? Didn't bother to go into Reception and see if you were still there or held up for any reason?

If so, he is a complete and utter arse. Is he usually useless or is this a one off?

[MJMG2015]

Well he was the muppet who went out without his phone, so that didn't help!

I guess it depends on whether it was a 'ill
Pick you up at 4:30' or 'I'll be there about 4:30' & what you'd normally do.

But he also chose to wait somewhere unexpected so frankly he owes you an apology, not a strop!!

It's Friday night 🍷🍺. Tell him to Kiss & make up, don't the pair of you spoil the weekend!

[Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel]

I would be absolutely fuming with him! That's not normal behaviour. Not from a decent person.

[00100001]

@dooratheexplorer

Did I read that right? He sat in the car for 10 minutes then drove home? Didn't bother to go into Reception and see if you were still there or held up for any reason?

If so, he is a complete and utter arse. Is he usually useless or is this a one off?

Yes. That is what he did.

He didn't say he went home to get his phone to find out where I was or anything.

[Veterinari]

It sounds like he knows he's an arse but is deflecting on you.

It all seems to stem from the fact he forgot his phone and parked in an odd place. You were clearly expecting a message and/or for him to park in the usual spot.

He clearly expected you to be both psychic and grateful for the massive favour he was doing for you.

[Regularsizedrudy]

He’s a twat. When he realised he didn’t have his phone with him he should have seen the potential for you to miss each other. The normal thing to do would be to wait and then check at reception. It sounds like he wanted to deliberately punish you for asking to be picked up.

[midsomermurderess]

For God sake. Can you not decide yourself? I am so tired of people like you, child women.

[mrsm43s]

If I had arranged to pick someone up at 4.30, I'd be really pissed off if they weren't outside waiting for me at that time.

I wouldn't have forgotten my phone, and I wouldn't have driven off, except to get my phone and call perhaps.

But its really, really rude, when someone is doing you the favour of picking you up, not to be ready and outside waiting at the time agreed.

[ExclamationPerfume]

I can't believe everyone saying he was in the wrong. The OP was in the wrong for not being ready to be picked up at 4.30.

[MyGazeboisLeaking]

Does he have odd behaviour in general, OP?

[Frdd]

Why didn’t you walk down at 4.30 and look for him?

[SummerHouse]

@midsomermurderess

For God sake. Can you not decide yourself? I am so tired of people like you, child women.

Ah I see the OPs DP has found the thread.

[00100001]

@ExclamationPerfume

I can't believe everyone saying he was in the wrong. The OP was in the wrong for not being ready to be picked up at 4.30.

So it's OK for him to drive off after 10 minutes not trying to find out where I was?

Is that REALLY what you would have done in this situation with your spouse?

[00100001]

@midsomermurderess

For God sake. Can you not decide yourself? I am so tired of people like you, child women.

Decide what?

[ReneeRol]

I bet he never showed up for 4.30. He was busy doing something else.

[ExclamationPerfume]

@00100001 He shouldn't have had to find you though that is the point. The arrangement you made was for him to pick you up at 4.30. Why were you not waiting for him at the door or inside the reception?

[00100001]

@Frdd

Why didn’t you walk down at 4.30 and look for him?

Because I was expecting him to be parked just outside the window in the usual collection place...? Not further down the way in the car park (especially as he had no phone to text me that... Or didn't bother popping into reception)

[Frdd]

But if there’s another car park it’s not unreasonable he might have been parked there

[00100001]

[quote ExclamationPerfume]@00100001 He shouldn't have had to find you though that is the point. The arrangement you made was for him to pick you up at 4.30. Why were you not waiting for him at the door or inside the reception?[/quote]
Because he usually would collect me from the. Au outside my office window, who h I was checki9ebery few minutes.

He randomly decided to park further down without his phone tell me, nor did he pop into reception.


I did not know he had forgotten his phone. All I knew was, he wasn't in the usual place ad wasn't answering his phone. I was worried.