Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Is this a shitty thing to do?

186 replies

00100001 · 30/10/2020 18:39

DH had today off work, and needed the car. So he dropped me off at work (7mon car journey, 1hr+ walk along country lanes and hills) in morning and was to collect me at 4:30

I was looking every few minutes from around 4:20. My office looks onto the road.
It gets to 4:40, no sign. I WhatsApp him asking when he's due. Not read. I ring him, No answer. I start to get worried. Ring him on his work mobile, no answer. Eventually at 5:10, he WhatsApp me saying he was there are 4:25, and had waited 10 minutes, and then drove home...

I asked where he'd parked, because I had kept an eye out. He'd parked in the car park near reception, which is near my office, but you can't see it from there iyswim? (So how I was supposed to know he was there, is beyond me)

Reception was open and manned, so he could have asked them to ring me, as he didn't have his phone on him.

But no, he's being arsey because he thinks i should have been stood outside waiting for him at exactly 4:30...

Was that shitty of him to leave after 10 minutes?

OP posts:
Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 19:10

The drop off bay is a long side bay along the main drive. People can wait there. Nobody else was using it, I know because I looked 8-12 times from 4:20-4:40ish. Plus it's a school on half-term, so nor more than 6 people in anyway.

He can wait there. It where he always has dropped /collected me in the past.

However I 'missed' him driving past and further down the way and parking in the car park.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 30/10/2020 19:11

Well you don’t just drive off without your spouse full stop.

Batshittery · 30/10/2020 19:12

In all seriousness, it was a misunderstanding/mistake. DH forgot his phone. If he had had it with him, this wouldn't have happened. At least you didn't get wet OP. Hope you've sorted it out and it doesn't ruin your weekend

Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 19:12

@AintPageantMaterial

It wasn’t just shitty, it was stupid. Just really pig ignorant. Is his solution that you should walk for an hour along lanes without pavements as it starts to get dark? If he insists that he is not stupid then he needs to level with you about what is really bugging him because he was deliberately starting a fight or trying to make some sort of point. Are you perhaps persistently late?
Lol, absolutely never late... That's his party trick.
OP posts:
AintPageantMaterial · 30/10/2020 19:12

Fluffycloudland77 Actually I think that’s dead right. You don’t just drive off without your spouse.

SisterAgatha · 30/10/2020 19:13

So he waits 10 mins and doesn’t think “I hope my wife is ok”, he just fucks off...

ExclamationPerfume · 30/10/2020 19:13

You should have been waiting at 4.30. That was the arranged time.

Batshittery · 30/10/2020 19:13

@AintPageantMaterial

It wasn’t just shitty, it was stupid. Just really pig ignorant. Is his solution that you should walk for an hour along lanes without pavements as it starts to get dark? If he insists that he is not stupid then he needs to level with you about what is really bugging him because he was deliberately starting a fight or trying to make some sort of point. Are you perhaps persistently late?
He came back and picked OP up when he realised. She didn't walk home
Clymene · 30/10/2020 19:13

He has always waited in the drop off bay in the past. Today, in a day he didn't have his phone, he decided to wait in the car park.

Sounds like he's trying to pick a fight really.

MitziK · 30/10/2020 19:14

Did he actually go there - or is he saying he did to cover up for forgetting to pick you up?

SBTLove · 30/10/2020 19:16

Where did he think you were? idiot of a man

nimbuscloud · 30/10/2020 19:19

Why did you not include in your first post the fact that he had forgotten his phone and also that he did come back and collect you ?

KillingEvenings · 30/10/2020 19:19

He didn't have his phone, but it's 7 minutes away. Why didn't he get home, call you, and drive back over. That's what me or my DH (or DM or DS etc etc) would have done.

PearlyPear · 30/10/2020 19:19

Ultimately it boils down to the fact that he didn't go the extra mile to find you/contact you (even without his phone - like you say, there's a Reception). You could have been in the loo, stuck on a last minute call or email or whatever - or at the very least, waiting for him to call you (and he knew he didn't have his phone, so therefore he wouldn't know if you were ringing him to ask if he was outside). He must have known you would be inside. It's passive aggressive behaviour in my book.

bigchris · 30/10/2020 19:20

How is a 7 minute drive an hour walking over hills ? Melodramatic much ??!

bigchris · 30/10/2020 19:22

He chose to park somewhere else for some reason this time

I'm starting to think he wasn't ever there

diddl · 30/10/2020 19:23

Could you have seen him if you'd been waiting in reception at 4.30?

I probably would have been waiting, but he only waited 5 mins past the time that you shoould have been there!

It can sometimes take that long to nip to te loo & get stuff together.

He only waited 10mins in total-did he have something more important to be doing?

I mean bloody hell!

How in god's name did he think that the answer was to fuck off again-where did he think that you were if not there??

What a thoughtless twat!

Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 19:23

@bigchris

How is a 7 minute drive an hour walking over hills ? Melodramatic much ??!
Because it is...? Confused I've walked it before in the summer, as its actually a nice walk, just over 3.5miles. It takes me 1hr5-1hr15 to walk it.
OP posts:
SwordBilledHummingbird · 30/10/2020 19:24

@bigchris

How is a 7 minute drive an hour walking over hills ? Melodramatic much ??!
That sounds about right if it's hilly. My journey to work is either an 8 minute drive or 45 minute walk along pavements and mostly on the flat. It would definitely add on a lot of time if the whole route was hilly and on country roads.
Letsallscreamatthesistene · 30/10/2020 19:27

I dont think it was shitty. I think it was a stupid thing to do

LIZS · 30/10/2020 19:27

Did he come back?

SummerHouse · 30/10/2020 19:28

What a strange little passive aggressive cutting off nose to spite face type gesture.

I would order a takeaway and not get him any. Revenge is a dish best served in foil containers....

Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 19:28

@bigchris

How is a 7 minute drive an hour walking over hills ? Melodramatic much ??!
How long would it take you to walk 3.5miles? (mostly uphill on the way, and down on the way back)?
OP posts:
Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 19:30

@bigchris

He chose to park somewhere else for some reason this time

I'm starting to think he wasn't ever there

Well, I can check the cctv on Monday I suppose
OP posts:
Shinygoldbauble · 30/10/2020 19:32

Were you working til 4.30? If so I'd expect him to allow you a few minutes to shut down computer, lock up, use bathroom and get your coat so he should know you wouldn't be at the door exactly 4.30.