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Original poster

Is this a shitty thing to do?

186 replies

00100001 · 30/10/2020 18:39

DH had today off work, and needed the car. So he dropped me off at work (7mon car journey, 1hr+ walk along country lanes and hills) in morning and was to collect me at 4:30

I was looking every few minutes from around 4:20. My office looks onto the road.
It gets to 4:40, no sign. I WhatsApp him asking when he's due. Not read. I ring him, No answer. I start to get worried. Ring him on his work mobile, no answer. Eventually at 5:10, he WhatsApp me saying he was there are 4:25, and had waited 10 minutes, and then drove home...

I asked where he'd parked, because I had kept an eye out. He'd parked in the car park near reception, which is near my office, but you can't see it from there iyswim? (So how I was supposed to know he was there, is beyond me)

Reception was open and manned, so he could have asked them to ring me, as he didn't have his phone on him.

But no, he's being arsey because he thinks i should have been stood outside waiting for him at exactly 4:30...

Was that shitty of him to leave after 10 minutes?

OP posts:
OneofPansPeople · 30/10/2020 18:48

Oh at least he came back for you. Thought you'd had to trek home.

Batshittery · 30/10/2020 18:48

@CastleOfDoom

Well I'd be annoyed with him. Why couldn't he get out of the car and stand where you could see him?
Why would he need to do this? Surely OP should have been where she could see him?
Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 18:48

@CodenameVillanelle

Ok so he came back - maybe just a total div rather than a complete wanker. Was he apologetic?
No, he was arsey, because i hadn't stood outside at exactly 4:30 Confused in the cold and drizzle... When I can see the drop off from my window and would take 30s to get to car.
OP posts:
Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 18:48

@CodenameVillanelle

Ok so he came back - maybe just a total div rather than a complete wanker. Was he apologetic?
No, he was arsey, because i hadn't stood outside at exactly 4:30 Confused in the cold and drizzle... When I can see the drop off from my window and would take 30s to get to car.
OP posts:
SengaMac · 30/10/2020 18:48

I would have gone out at 4.30, to see if he was somewhere out of view of my office window.
He could have spoken to reception, tho, or waited a bit longer - although it sounds like you didn't think of going out to look, at any point.
One as silly as the other, I'd say.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 30/10/2020 18:49

Oh. So it was a mistake and he came back then?!

Lets not cause drama where there needn't be any

OneofPansPeople · 30/10/2020 18:49

I think your post was a bit disingenuous tbh.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 30/10/2020 18:50

Yes he was an arsehole.

Batshittery · 30/10/2020 18:51

I asked where he'd parked, because I had kept an eye out. He'd parked in the car park near reception, which is near my office, but you can't see it from there iyswim? (So how I was supposed to know he was there, is beyond me)

Er, because you'd arranged for him to pick you up. The car park seems a natural place to park Grin

Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 18:52

I can see him... If he parked in the normal drop off bay... He chose to park somewhere else for some reason this time.

OP posts:
Original poster
00100001 · 30/10/2020 18:54

OK.

So, you've gone to collect your spouse from work. They aren't outside waiting. So you wait. And the reasonable thing to do is drive away without trying to find out where they are?

Confused
OP posts:
Clymene · 30/10/2020 18:55

So he had to make another journey? Idiot. How were you supposed to have known where he was parked even if you'd come out looking for him? If you hadn't arranged to meet somewhere specific and he didn't have his phone, he should have come into reception. I mean where did he think you'd have gone? Confused

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 30/10/2020 18:58

He could have picked up the phone. He could have texted. He could have walked across the road to reception and asked them to buzz you before he drove off. That's 3 things he could have done with very little effort before deciding to drive off.

That's all I got.

Jericoo · 30/10/2020 18:58

Very shitty and mean

Batshittery · 30/10/2020 18:58

He did wait 10 mins. If I was picking DH up I am likely to turn up in my scruffs and slippers. I wouldn't go to reception. I would expect him to come to the car park. If he wasn't there, and I didn't have my phone, I'd presume something had come up and after 10 mins, I would go home and check my phone. Seems reasonable to me

AlwaysCheddar · 30/10/2020 18:59

Selfish prick

Lindy2 · 30/10/2020 19:01

Yes he was pretty unreasonable and instead of popping into the reception for 60 seconds he ended up having to do the journey twice. What a waste of time.

Does he usually lack initiative and the ability to use common sense like this?

CatsAndEyeliner · 30/10/2020 19:02

But would you be in an arsey mood about it @Batshittery ?

mintich · 30/10/2020 19:04

That's so weird of him! I've just picked up my husband and I sat and waited for him to come out. I wouldn't dream
of driving off!

OhCaptain · 30/10/2020 19:05

Why would he park in a drop off bay though?

He said he got there at 4.25 so he was slightly early. I'm assuming the drop off bay isn't for parking in?

I don't know why he's arsey - it's a bit of a mix up and he could have gone to see where you were.

Equally, you might have imagined there was a possibility he'd actually park up and wait so you could have checked?

You're both right/wrong but really, is it a big deal?

Batshittery · 30/10/2020 19:07

@CatsAndEyeliner

But would you be in an arsey mood about it *@Batshittery* ?
I'd like to think not Cats but I'm menopausal and might not have been able to stop myself from asking why he was surprised I parked my car in a car park Grin Obv, Binary's DH doesn't have that excuse.
CatsAndEyeliner · 30/10/2020 19:09

Fair enough @Batshittery Grin

Gizlotsmum · 30/10/2020 19:09

Actually a bit of both of you being unreasonable, he should have let you know he was there and waited longer, you should have gone downstairs at 4:30. Hopefully you can sort it out and not ruin your evening.

Submariner · 30/10/2020 19:10

He was doing you a favour. You should have gone outside at the time you said you would.

AintPageantMaterial · 30/10/2020 19:10

It wasn’t just shitty, it was stupid. Just really pig ignorant.
Is his solution that you should walk for an hour along lanes without pavements as it starts to get dark?
If he insists that he is not stupid then he needs to level with you about what is really bugging him because he was deliberately starting a fight or trying to make some sort of point. Are you perhaps persistently late?