Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 3

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Previous question: Why is the swimming pool viewing gallery so hot?

Answer: Because the temperature controller is broken. It will get progressively hotter, then colder, then hotter... much like my shower at the moment!!

My question: How long will it take for THIS thread to fill up?

Because he knows he can GET BREXIT DONE.

Why is my (fairly new) book disintegrating?

Because it's Gibbon's Decline and Fall and is emulating the Roman Empire.

When can I eat one of my apple and sultana cupcakes?

For breakfast tomorrow

Why has Asda introduced trolley del check out?

Because Rodney & Uncle Albert suggested it.

Is anything exciting happening this month?

Major raves up and down the country, crossed with street parties. So bake your scones grab your wine and get your groove on.
Hazmat suits compulsory.

Will I win the game?

It depends who you are playing the game with
Is it bed time yet?

Nope, still GMT

How do you get an allegedly temporary tattoo off, before school tomorrow?

Cut off the part of the body with the tattoo
Why haven't I washed D's,1 school uniform yet?

As he hasn't worn it yet.

Is it to early for Christmas music?

No, it's too late. You should play your first Christmas music of the year before February 23rd, otherwise you are behind the times.

Can I eat a whole rack of ribs?

Eat three
Why is the dryer part of the washer dryer so shit?

Because it needs a cuddle to cheer it up

Why am I sooooooo cross with DD?

She's been baking hot cross buns and won't share.

What do I have against hot cross buns? (My local bakery sells them all year round and I HATE them!)

Your grandparents dressed you in a HCB costume for the village fete as a baby. You won first prize, but was attacked by a crow.

Do I have to load the dishwasher and was the pans? (After cooking the dinner)

No, just whistle for a house elk

High breed of cat is best?

A clone of my Tabby as she is the bestest cat in the world failing that a Tiger or Mog the Cat.

(I am cross as DD threw her phone against the wall during a paddy & cracked the screen. Now she's got a right bag on as I've told her the repair cost is coming out of her pocket money)

Why do teenagers get so cross about nothing in particular & then break things?

Because she's about to come into season, at which point she will ruin your curtains.

How many swallows do make a summer?

Well they say 2 but I reckon 900 to be on the safe side.

Why is it my fault that I don't know where DD has put her school art book? (It's missing & she can't find it)

Because you are the Official Keeper of School Stationery and Equipment.

Why am I so tired?

Because you have not slept for the last week, other than minute-long naps every time the clock reaches 13-past something.

Why does COVID exist?

So in years to come we can have VC (Victory over Covid) parties & lots of other commemorative celebrations.
Our grandchildren will ask us what life was like & what we did during 'The Dreaded Lurgy' & how did we cope with rations (limited loo roll, soap, pasta, tinned tomatoes, baked beans & other goods)

Does anyone know what question I daren't ask?

I believe it concerns The Game. (Sorry!)

Why did I have to say that?

Because an alien 👽 took over your mind momentarily and made you
What happens if nobody turns out to vote for Trump or Biden!

Bertrand the Badger will have a landslide victory. The USA will once again to rise to be a great nation after CV is eliminated is 4.7 days. Other badgers will be inspired and run for head of government. The UK, however, will elect a new lifeboat, Boaty McBoatface, as PM as we find the name amusing.

Why were the roads so quiet this morning?

All the vehicles have been blown away

What's the best recipe for leaf mould?