Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 3

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Previous question: Why is the swimming pool viewing gallery so hot?

Answer: Because the temperature controller is broken. It will get progressively hotter, then colder, then hotter... much like my shower at the moment!!

My question: How long will it take for THIS thread to fill up?

Cake. Just cake.

Why am I craving cake?

Because the fags have killed your appetite for anything else

What can I get my DMum for Christmas?

Because you are only allowed cake in Tier 3 but your area is Tier 1.

Are words like bubble and tier going to become obsolete after this?

A pet Badger or if you want to splash out a Pet Elephant.
If you want a jokey stocking filler I suggest a Donald Trump Splat/Sticky Window Climber Figure.
You can also get them in Vladimir Putin & Xi Jinping.

Bubble & Tier? They're made up words & don't exist.

Considering what's going on now, what was the point of having the last 6 months in lockdown?

To save the Badgers
Why are so many people on Facebook complaining they can't go to Wales ,when they never go to Wales anyway?

Because whales are beautiful. Dolphins however are bullies.

Do you think my DH would notice if I kept a narwhal in the bath?

Probably not as you haven't noticed his unicorn hidden in the airing cupboard.

What did people do before Mumsnet?

Mums-talkinreallife.

Should I get an early night?

Yes, it's bedtime now

Will DD ever tidy her bedroom?

No - piles of stuff will get bigger and bigger until the fact that it is even a room becomes doubtable.

Will I ever get going this morning?

No because you didn't have an early night and never actually went to bed to get up
Why am I watching sponge Bob Square pants ?

Because Peppa Pig isn't on until 8

Is it normal to fear lockdown more than CV?

No writing your CV for a new job can be really terrifying especially if CAPS LOCK gets stuck on your keyboard.

Why do I keep going to bed at stupid o'clock (5am this morning 🥱)

You are becoming a vampire

Black pudding - yes or no?

Only for vampires.

Why is it so cold?

Ah, that'll be because Mercury is in retrograde.

Why is my hair so frizzy?

Because God had a big heating bill ,so turned the sun down
Will greater Manchester be going into tier three ?

It all depends on whether Andy will beat Boris in the arm wrestling match. Andy needs to win 3 matches in a row to keep out of tier 3.
Andy should win but he needs to watch out as Boris could play dirty.

That Liverpool gym owner who went on BBC news & said "we are not closing", was he actually looking forward to getting a £1000 fine?

Yeah, he's been wanting to pay more taxes for years so he can reduce the amount of maintenance he pays his 15 exes and 67 children.

Why are crispy things better to eat than just about anything else?

Because they make you immune from COViD
Will Badgers. Become like humans and take over the World ?

Yes... in an alternate universe!

Why is x2boys obsessed with badgers?

No idea. But loving the pet badger she sent me.

Was it a bad idea to let DH on a whiskey website?

It depends if you have the coding skills to get him out of the Matrix website,
Otherwise he'll have to stay in cyberspace forever.........unless Keanu Reeves just happens to be walking past your house.

Do you like Wombles?

Underground and overground wombles are great.

Why is my DD always cheerful and helpful?

To lure you into a false sense of security so you don't suspect she's a Russian spy

Why am I awake?