Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 3

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Previous question: Why is the swimming pool viewing gallery so hot?

Answer: Because the temperature controller is broken. It will get progressively hotter, then colder, then hotter... much like my shower at the moment!!

My question: How long will it take for THIS thread to fill up?

Because your partner/child/pet is prodding you periodically so that you don't fall asleep.

Who is Ed Sheeran?

Father Xmas in disguise
Will Boris and Andy Burnham have another argument today ?

No, Boris is taking the day off to prepare more tiers.

Who is awake in my house?

Me!

Why I am so tired?

Badgers.

Is going back to bed after taking the kids to school and food shopping acceptable?

Because you have up all night helping Boris prepare his tiers and you are now bubbling with him
Will this nonsense ever end?

Whether this thread continues or not is up to all of us. I am offended that you'd call it "nonsense".

What are social sports?

Sex, drugs and rock n roll

How many glasses of wine are needed to supervise a 7yo making dinner?

Sports that a required to social distance from each other
Why can't schools in the same town coordinate their holidays ?

Because the LEA staff drink far too much gin & can't remember who's doing what. They are actually trying to troubleshoot the Dept of Education's sky blue outside the box back to front idea that each child has a different week off.
Hence all the LEA staff driven to alcohol & cake.

A 7 yr old needs to drink at least 1 bottle of Champagne to cook the meal & you need a bottle of tequila to cope with the mess.

What did I do today that I haven't done since March?

Changed your underwear

How many Christmas presents should I buy DH?

Actually had a McDonalds & you should buy your DH a McDonalds for Christmas plus an Aston Martin or a hand built Maybach. And possibly a deep fat fryer as a stocking filler.

Why is shopping with a teenage DD so.......?

You gave your pet badger a bubble bath
And then you and Boris had a lovely bubbly chat about how many tiers of wedding cake you will make
Will our Grand children understand us when we talk about social distancing,and rules of six etc?

Send her shopping with my teenage son and they can meh together whilst doing socially distanced silly poses
Why is Corrie so crap these days ?

Yes, because they have had to do it for SARS-COV5 fir six months whilst the vaccine update is being prepared

Why is tits up a bad thing?

Our Grandchildren will think wtf & iit's boring, then when they become parents themselves they'll understand & think no wonder everyone got pissed & bought pet Badgers.

Tits up is very bad as is should be T& T - tits out & teeth showing.

Who did I have the best night of my life with (it was really really hot) whilst I was asleep & dreaming last night?

The orange one and then Boris
If an asteroid was to crash into earth right now would mumsnetter,s even notice or would they be to busy starting threads on a no deal BREXIT and having to wear masks whilst shopping in Asda ?

I think so... but only because their masks had flown off their faces.

I need to leave for work. Why don't I want to get up?

As your work is grande horizontale political hostess

Should I try open water swimming?

Yes in December in a bikini
Where is the lost Debit card? ( this is a regular occurrence in my house)

In your shoes, as it was last used by the overnight elvish shoemakers

Where can I buy a nice bikini in winter?

From the nice bikini shop you should also have your hair done in the style of 1970,s Farrah Fawcett and wear gold stillitoes so that when you dive into the open water you will look like a glamorous miss world contestant
When should I open the Gin?

Five minutes ago

Why does DH laugh when i say i would like to try paddle boarding

Never, open the Tequila instead.

Badger vs Womble who would win?

They would dead heat in a paddleboard race, whilst Aroundtheworld falls off in the first 5m

Can you work a touch screen by licking it?