Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 3

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Previous question: Why is the swimming pool viewing gallery so hot?

Answer: Because the temperature controller is broken. It will get progressively hotter, then colder, then hotter... much like my shower at the moment!!

My question: How long will it take for THIS thread to fill up?

The electronic Badger
Does anyone want a big sloppy kiss from the big orange one ?

Cross post £1000,000.

Only if it's from Basil Brush, as the dream I had (the one with Angela Merkel saving the world etc) well the peck on the lips & the hug I got from Donald was very scary, hugely, bigly SCARY 😱🤮☠️

Talking of dreams why did Rebecca Vardy invite me to join her running group. She was very nice but she hugged me too!

She wants you to take Jamie off her hands.

How many times will I get lost in Peterborough tomorrow?

You’ll be so lost you won’t even make it to Peterborough at all. You’ll wonder round for a couple of hours before realising you’re in Prestatyn.

Why are my feet never warm?

Because you are not being roasted over an open fire

Des anyone really like chestnuts?

Yes they are the best type of horses.

Marmite Peanut Butter? Discuss

Sounds all kinds of wrong, but wildly preferable to marmite Lynx

Why is it so hard to think of a question?

Because you exhausted all of your questions participating in Question Time.

How come I now have two laser toys for DCat...?

DCat is starting a stockpile for an attempt to take over the world

What happened to the orange slugs you used to see in the 80s?

They got eaten by badgers

Who thought the badgers had stopped the coup?

I thought the Badgers hadn't started the coup yet

Why do we love Badgers so much?

We don't. They are controlling us

Do badgers like trampolines?

Only on high days and holidays
Where would be a nice day out for my pet badger?

Mars, nice wide open spaces without traffic 👍

Why did young adults party last night in the city where my DD is at Uni, going into tier 3 today?

As they believe they are invincible.

Why did it rain just as my tents had nearly finished drying?

Because your destiny is to invent a cure for covid based on aerosolised mildew

Which is better - small dog or roomba?

An elephant
Will this thread go on forever?

Yes, MNHQ will expand the thread capacity for this thread to 1,000,000 posts because we are so special.

How many disposable aprons did I have in my car until about 40 minutes ago?

44 million

Will I lose a stone by Christmas?

You have a hole in your pocket so have been shedding your pet rock collection without realising it.

Will the rain hild off until I get home and can be my towels in, or will they go the way of the tents?

Not sure but if you call out for the spiders & ask them to cover your towels to protect them from the rain. Don't forget to tell them that there will also be ice cream as an extra reward.
The spiders will be so excited & ecstatic that they'll then stop darking the washing until next next Spring.
Win - win for everyone.

Should we have a 2 week circuit breaker?

I think the government should take their advice from the COVID forum on Mumsnet so many experts on there!
Why is diet food so boring?

Because God likes us podgy.

Why do the leaves fall from the trees in autumn?

Because elephants need parachutes

What should I have for dinner tonight?