PFB stuff you did that you look back on and cringe.

[cheesecrack]

I remember a thread about the stuff people did for their precious first born that was pretty bonkers.

Please share - I need a laugh.

Mine are:

Knee pads for my precious crawler

And pre cutting a banana (in half) as I was worried my MIL wouldn’t do it correctly. No idea how I thought my baby could over dose on banana but there you go!

Taking the "feet to foot" safe sleeping advice a bit too seriously, and placing my PFB way down the pram, so her head was under the outer cover, but at least her feet were at the end. lol. Granny complained she liked to "see what I am pushing", but I was firm. [embarassed]

So your baby was sleeping in a mobile tent

I’ll tell you my neighbour from across the road second but first mine was - me and DH insisted we had to do a baby moon where we wouldn’t allow anyone to hold the baby except us for two weeks. I cringe so bad now at me and DH and our new parent selves refusing to let anyone hold DC1. As soon as subsequent children were born, I couldn’t wait to hand them over!

So my neighbour: during lockdown, when it first happened, we couldn’t take our three DC anywhere. They are aged 7, 5 and 3 and so were climbing the walls during the week as me and DH desperately tried to manage home schooling and working. We would take turns playing outside with them in the communal gardens. We do not let our children scream and shout but they do make regular child noise - laughing and talking. Our neighbour from across the road came out and asked if we could go back inside because his two year old was napping and “he could see him stirring on the baby monitor” every time one of my children laughed or spoke.

Again, seriously, I do not let my children scream and shout. I think it’s really anti social for them to get carried away like that...but...kids do make noise. So I said I appreciated what it was like when your children don’t nap but equally, I am stuck with three children on lockdown whilst trying to work...and they’re allowed to play outside too. He just walked off muttering that he would just have to deal with the consequences if his child didn’t sleep that night.

It was 1pm in the afternoon. The world cannot stop just because you need your child to nap 🤷🏻‍♀️ I cringe for them as well now

I wrote my MIL a many stage plan on how to swaddle my DS, with diagrams. She didn’t say a word bless her.

I made cute invites for my dd's 1st birthday which was a small affair at home with some family. Her birthday is 19th of the month and not only did I write RSVP on the info but gave a date to RSVP by.. which was a week beforehand. I still cringe at that! I was only making a cold buffet for 10 people who were family, hardly a 5 coarse meal at posh hotel!

Placemarking as I love threads like this.

I can't really think of anything right now that's "funny" as mine were cos of my then undx ocd.

But other answers might prompt a memory (dd is almost 20 - but trust me those of you still with little ones it goes by in a flash!!)

Ah these are sweet - a swaddling diagram.

I’ve just remembered writing (and printing) a schedule for my baby for my mum to have her overnight.

Again- what was I thinking??

Crossed the road (numerous times too!) to keep my precious baby out of the sun.

I called NHS direct because baby was crying

The triage person asked all the usual questions about whether they're conscious, or bleeding, and in they end just said "so you're calling because your 4 month old is crying?"

And only when she said it like that did I hear how stupid I was.

(DD wasn't much of a crier).

I found an old list of notes I gave my mum for looking after the baby, and I had specified tap water not the bottled stuff they buy as it’s too high in sodium! My second baby eats any old shit

Ds1 never had a pouch or jar. Everything homemade, even took a flask out with pureed veg in.
Ds2 loved a pouch and didn't even care if they were warmed up!

I love these threads!

The first time we went out for a walk after dc1 was born I noticed that dh was walking really weirdly, making the pram swerve all over the pavement. I asked him what he was doing - he was trying to avoid the cracks in the pavement .

When it came to weaning our pfb I had this leaflet from somewhere (Boots? Sure start?) which gave examples of a healthy balanced diet for babies and toddlers. Up until dc1 was about 2.5 I followed that guide to the letter and would only feed my pfb the exact meals in the exact quantities from the examples given in that leaflet. In contrast, dc2 lived off cheese sandwiches and bananas for most of his toddler years .

Way too many things! Probably expecting my tiny newborn baby to have a routine from birth 😂😂😂 goodness me!
Then the second comes along and as a parent your more chilled out, I’m now on the third and she’s the easiest and most laid back baby anyone knows!

Honestly we as mums give ourselves such a hard time and we don’t need too!

I let my DS have a tiny little taste of a banana and then fretted for the rest of the evening because I'd given it to him at six months old to the date, not to the day, and the fact that he'd had it two days early might have caused him irreparable damage.

Got home, no matter what I was doing, where I was, but got home at 10:45 every single morning for 11am nap in the cot.

2 different bibs. 1 for every day use, the others, plastic backed for eating.

Ironed every single item of clothing. Every. Single. Item... WTAF...

Routine, strict routine. No deviation at all, ever.

As pfb got older, I honestly didn’t think that anyone could cope with his behaviour. So I never let him out of my sight. Never went out. Never asked anyone to look after him for me.
Didn’t have a break, but then no one offered either.

I don’t know what I was thinking.

.

My favourite was not me but another mum at baby swimming. She asked the instructor if he would heat up PFBs puréed carrot for seven seconds. He said he was happy to but explained that microwave went up in five second increments so did she want five or ten seconds? Cue complete meltdown because only seven would do. She wanted to go to the staff room and supervise but he said she wasn't allowed which was causing her huge distress. So In the end she made him promise to set it to ten seconds but whip the door open after seven. She made him say the words "I promise".

Same as @katienana
Everything for DS1 was home steamed and mashed at home. My freezer was filled with pots of all sorts of concoctions.

DS2? Loves a pouch. And even worse, point blank refuses to be fed a pouch and must squeeze it directly in to his mouth.

I didn't think I was precious at the time, but now I have DS2 and he is practically feral, I was probably a bit more precious than I thought. At least I'm not a slave to naps with him - although he's an awful sleeper at night time, so maybe I should have been.

I gave my Dad a two page list of instructions when he was looking after pfb (11 months) for an hour whilst I went to an appointment. I also gave him a flask of cooled boiled water and three sterilised sippy cups with instructions to replace if he threw them on the floor, completely ignoring that he was crawling and would stick anything he found in his mouth anyway.

I had a baby shower with a gift list (mumsnet suicide I know). I requested all the books - Gina Ford, Gentle Parenting, Sleep books etc. I spend so much of my pre-birth time reading them and making notes and banging on about all the things I was going to do when my twins arrived....spoiler alert: I did none of the things in the books, nor could I even remember what they said after zero sleep, traumatic birth and all the rest of it.

I kept a detailed record of all milk, sleeps, poos etc for about 6 weeks in the vain hope of finding some patterns which would indicate why he slept more days than others ... I stopped when I realised there was no pattern and it would always be random!

Reading these it seems I am still pretty PFB - DS is 2 and we still have an absolutely solid routine that I Must Not Deviate From.

I feel if I deviate from it he will go back to not sleeping and that broke me. So... until he stops napping, my life is in 2 segments - 9am til about 12 and 3 til 6.30.

Cue complete meltdown because only seven would do.

When BF wasn't going well early on, I boiled her bottles for an hour on a pan on a stove to make sure they were sterilised enough to give her a carton on aptamil.

*of

My DD's first bath was in lukewarm water that was about 2cm deep. We were petrified to make it to hot or drown her! Safe to say she didn't enjoy it and I look back at laugh.

I don't think i did anything overly PFB*, but i did get really upset (not crying upset, maybe more narked) that someone asked "her name" when I took DS1 out for the 1st time. He was dressed in head to toe blue ffs

*Well thinking about it I was (according to my relative) overly strict on what DC could eat when they were small. Eg, they were only allowed water or milk, and jam or chocolate spread were strictly rationed . But TBH I'd be the same if i had more dc.