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Original poster

PFB stuff you did that you look back on and cringe.

206 replies

cheesecrack · 21/09/2020 17:13

I remember a thread about the stuff people did for their precious first born that was pretty bonkers.

Please share - I need a laugh.

Mine are:

Knee pads for my precious crawler Hmm

And pre cutting a banana (in half) as I was worried my MIL wouldn’t do it correctly. No idea how I thought my baby could over dose on banana but there you go!

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 23/09/2020 15:49

I once ate a bit of paint. My baby had eaten a tiny tiny bit of it during their first time painting. It was non toxic but I just got worried so I tried a bit myself to make sure it didn’t make me sick. I don’t know what I was thinking in retrospect.

PaulinePetrovaPosey · 23/09/2020 16:03

I saw a lady doing the 'feet to foot under the pram cover' thing in a BF cafe when DD was about a week old. Instead of thinking she was deluded I worried that I was a bad mum for not doing it.

minnie465 · 23/09/2020 22:28

DH used to line up baby wipes on the radiator to warm them up before a nappy change Grin

DS coughed up a bit of mucus when he was a day or two old. This happened in the middle of the night. He went straight back to sleep. DH and I debated whether or not we should ring a doctor, finally agreeing that if it happened again we would go straight to A+E. We sat up and watched him like hawks for the rest of the night. Midwife arrived early next morning. We were like two zombies. She just about managed to stop herself laughing.

We changed DSs wet nappies constantly throughout the night. I remember wakening up in the mornings and there would be a line of nappies along the wall. What were we thinking 🤦🏼‍♀️

HoldMyLobster · 24/09/2020 04:17

I gave my mum a printed spreadsheet with DD1’s routine on it when she first had her for the day.

She gently smiled and ushered me out for a day off.

The funniest thing was that when we got back at 6pm my mum was astonished to report that DD had done everything bang on time despite mum having had no intention of following some daft PFB schedule.

Original poster
cheesecrack · 24/09/2020 08:06

@HoldMyLobster do you think she was telling the truth? Smile

OP posts:
EmbarrassedUser · 26/09/2020 11:20

@MrsAvocet

I don't think I did anything too crazy myself, as I had quite a bit of experience of looking after babies, though of course it is quite different when you first have your own. But DH had some strange ideas, including that we had to carry the pram over any rough terrain in case the vibrations gave her brain damage.Confused I remember one incident we visited a castle with a cobbled drive. DD was tiny so still in a proper pram and DH insisted we carry it up this driveway that was about a mile long. We are very different heights so this was easier said than done. DH was getting narky with me because I, apparently, wasn't keeping my end of the pram high enough. I was getting narky with him because my arms were killing and so was my stomach. I was only 7 or 8 weeks post section and although I'd recovered well, carrying pram whilst walking backwards over cobbles was a bloody stupid thing to be doing. And DD was screaming her head off. Eventually I snapped, refused to do it anymore and stormed off pushing the pram over the cobbles as fast as I could. Within a couple of hundred metres DD stopped screaming and fell asleep, and which point DH freaked out because he thought I had rendered her unconscious. I guess we provided the other visitors with some additional entertainment anyway.Grin
😂 Why didn’t he just carry her?
timtam23 · 26/09/2020 13:42

We went to a first birthday party for a friend's baby when my PFB was about 10 months old, the birthday baby had a lovely chocolate birthday cake - I wouldn't let PFB have any of it as I was determined he would not be given chocolate as a baby so DH ate it. I made PFB a sugar-free banana cake for his 1st birthday (he wouldn't eat it!). In contrast we have photographic evidence of DC2 shovelling a big pice of chocolate cake into his mouth aged about 9 months. I had relaxed my rules a bit by then ;) my poor PFB!

timtam23 · 26/09/2020 13:46

And when I went into hospital to have DC2 my lovely neighbour looked after PFB for me, I handed her 2 pages of A4 with PFB's routine, likes and dislikes. Bless her she was so tactful and just took it without any comment! In the event there was hardly any disruption to my precious child as I had DC2 quite quickly so DH was able to go back home after 6 hours or so

Original poster
cheesecrack · 27/09/2020 22:55

Can I just check that secretly (or not) everyone thought their nursery/childminder thought their child was the favourite?

I always thought my kids various nurseries favoured mine Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
cheesecrack · 27/09/2020 22:55

I mean their child was the favourite!

OP posts:
HoldMyLobster · 28/09/2020 01:19

[quote cheesecrack]@HoldMyLobster do you think she was telling the truth? Smile[/quote]
Sorry - just catching up. DD was a total stickler for her routine, so I'm sure she did follow it to the minute. But it still makes me laugh that I actually made a spreadsheet Grin

ChristmasCarcass · 28/09/2020 01:39

@GrumpySausage

When pregnant with my first I remember saying to my mum whilst shopping 'oh I'll never let my kid wear joggers, I'll only dress them in proper clothes'.

Ha. Currently knee deep in ds5's joggers and dd2's leggings. Don't own a pair of 'proper' trousers between them.

Whereas DS3 has only ever worn soft stretchy clothes, in case stiff clothes hurt his sensitive ickle skin.

He came home from nursery in a pair of jeans last year (not ours, no idea whose they were, he had a bag full of spares). I must admit they looked nice on him, but the waistband left a little mark on his tummy so back to soft snuggly joggers Blush

ChristmasCarcass · 28/09/2020 01:41

@cheesecrack

Can I just check that secretly (or not) everyone thought their nursery/childminder thought their child was the favourite?

I always thought my kids various nurseries favoured mine Smile

Mine definitely was the favourite! “Witty and gifted” one report said Wink

Surely you aren’t implying they say that about everyone Grin

0blio · 28/09/2020 14:54

@cheesecrack

Can I just check that secretly (or not) everyone thought their nursery/childminder thought their child was the favourite?

I always thought my kids various nurseries favoured mine Smile

No, but I genuinely believed that the midwives were in awe of my daughter's beauty when she was born! BlushBlush She was lovely but my god what hormones do this to a new mother's mind?! Grin
Original poster
cheesecrack · 28/09/2020 15:02

Hahaha- newborn beauty!

OP posts:
HoldMyLobster · 28/09/2020 17:50

DD's hair was full of meconium that had firmly stuck in place, making her hair slightly green.

Looked gorgeous to me!

dancerdog · 28/09/2020 19:01

When I looked after my nephew for the first time my sister had left a lengthy list of the day's routine.

I was pretty sure I followed it well, until I just glanced at it again before she came home from work, and realised I had not fed him.

For myself, I cringe when I think about the time I told the health visitor that I was going to write and complain to Adsa as their nappies had leaked.

Bluewavescrashing · 28/09/2020 19:04

I used to leave an A4 page of notes for DH to follow if I went out for a few hours. Nap times, feeds, activities etc Blush

areyoubeingserviced · 28/09/2020 19:20

PFB’s clothes were hand washed. I couldn’t allow my baby’s clothes to go into the ‘bacteria infested ‘ washing machine

PFB’s clothing was changed three times a day, even if she wasn’t dirty.

PFB’s clothes had to match. My dm and I spent hours discussing what she would wear (dm was just as bad as I was PFB was her first GC)

shreddednips · 28/09/2020 19:31

I was terrified that my DS might suffocate on his cellular blanket despite it being one of those ones full of holes. My DH came into the bedroom to find me with it wrapped a couple of times round my head to see whether it could suffocate me.

It's not the only thing I've attempted to suffocate myself with- even when he was old enough to have a cuddly in his bed, I'd clap it to my nose and mouth and see whether I could draw breath. Barking.

Mummysgonetobed · 28/09/2020 19:38

Burnt through 3 hair dryers because pfb would only sleep with the noise of one going, constantly. Before the white noise app says. Even demanded a friend her her hairdryer out when pfb was crying at her house as it was the only way to stop it. Cringe.

Mummysgonetobed · 28/09/2020 19:41

Also ironed every single item of clothing for at least a year.

Zaphodsotherhead · 28/09/2020 19:51

PFB DS never stayed with anyone for longer than half an hour. I was worried he may get upset and nobody else would know how to soothe him like I did.

DC2 was so awful that nobody WOULD have her for longer than half an hour.

By the time it got to DC5, I would have handed her over to Jack the Ripper for half an hour of peace and quiet.

Original poster
cheesecrack · 28/09/2020 19:54

Love the idea of blanket breathing tests Smile

OP posts:
readysaltedplease · 28/09/2020 20:25

@Zaphodsotherhead

PFB DS never stayed with anyone for longer than half an hour. I was worried he may get upset and nobody else would know how to soothe him like I did.

DC2 was so awful that nobody WOULD have her for longer than half an hour.

By the time it got to DC5, I would have handed her over to Jack the Ripper for half an hour of peace and quiet.

😂😂😂
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