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When do you stop showing people your upstairs?

205 replies

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 21:50

We moved house in January and when family and friends first popped round to visit we "gave them the tour" - pretty normal ime to show people round your new house, including the bedrooms.

Anyway, with lockdown and whatnot we have a few friends who hadn't yet visited us at the new place. One of them is calling in later this week and I've realised I feel a bit weird about showing her round, and I definitely think it would be strange to show her upstairs.

Is that just me? Is there a statute of limitations on "the tour"??

Obviously this is completely lighthearted and I'm relaxed about visitors, just amused that I've realised I have some strict rules in my head about it!

OP posts:
thedaywewillremeber · 01/09/2020 21:56

Personally think it’s whatever you feel comfortable with. I was happy to show people my upstairs etc before I had moved so they sure the sizes of rooms and layout etc but once I had moved in I didn’t want any upstairs.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 01/09/2020 21:57

When it starts to sag?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 01/09/2020 22:00

Do you think they will ask for a tour?

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 22:00


When it starts to sag?

Yes. You make a lot of sense ;)
OP posts:
Estrellente · 01/09/2020 22:01

No one wants to see my upstairs anymore. Or my downstairs Grin

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 22:01


Do you think they will ask for a tour?

Probably not, she won't be bothered either way. She'll enjoy having a look round the garden though.
OP posts:
CrazedInsomniac · 01/09/2020 22:03

I think this must be an English lower-middle-class thing. I’ve lived in lots of different countries and have only ever come across the idea that visitors are pining for a look at your new bathroom and bedroom feature wall in certain segments of England. The first time my husband’s weird book group friends asked if they could see around the house I thought I was hearing things.

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 22:04

@thedaywewillremeber That sounds fair enough.

@Estrellente I won't be forcing either my upstairs or downstairs on anyone, don't you worry.

OP posts:
user18534687433234 · 01/09/2020 22:04

I didn't know this was a thing.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 01/09/2020 22:05

When we moved to a bungalow. It's been very liberating.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 01/09/2020 22:07

I can't imagine showing people around my house. How odd.

But then, I like my bedroom to be private. Wouldn't invite people in.

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 22:09

@CrazedInsomniac That's me put firmly in my place, eh? Please don't fret, I've never thought anyone was pining for a glimpse of my en-suite ;)

It's just been pretty normal throughout my life when someone's moved house that you visit and have a little nosy round. It's just a housewarming thing, a way of making people feel oriented and welcome in your new home. I shall be careful in future not to suggest it to any of my more cosmopolitan friends though, what would they think of me??

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PerfidiousAlbion · 01/09/2020 22:09

I’d never heard of this until another thread - last year I think it was - mentioned it.

I’d think it was strange to offer and odd to ask but it’s entirely up to you.

Laughed out loud at @@SomethingNastyInTheBallPool**@SomethingNastyInTheBallPool

OhTheRoses · 01/09/2020 22:10

Why would anyone expect to be shown your bedrooms and why would you want to? An extraordinary practice.

Heartlake · 01/09/2020 22:12

It's totally normal round this way. All friends want to see even they visit for the first time!

fartyface · 01/09/2020 22:12

Yes this happened to us. We did really extensive reorganisations and gave lots of people the before, during and after tours but suddenly it became a bit odd to say "do you want to look around" and evn felt dare I say it boastful!

I kinda happened overnight so I don't know what it was, but perhaps it was a switch for us from doing the house to just living in it.

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 22:13

This is more controversial than I expected. I wonder if it's a local thing. Or a low-class thing, haha.

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Happityhap · 01/09/2020 22:14

I think this must be an English lower-middle-class thing.

It certainly used to be usual in Scotland.
I haven't moved house for a good many years, tho, so don't know if it still is.

Don't offer to show your bedrooms to your friend and I don't expect she'll care.

northernstars · 01/09/2020 22:14

I totally get you. We moved into a new build 6 years ago and everyone wanted the tour. Would be mortified to do it now it's been lived in.

farmertom · 01/09/2020 22:15

This is pretty normal to me, like if your best friend moved to a brand new house and you popped round for tea would you bust never see the rest of the new house...? What about your sister and mum/other immediate family? Would they never go upstairs?
I have never thought about this as a thing but maybe it is weird 🤷‍♀️

Wholeholes · 01/09/2020 22:16

Ooh I love a tour!
I think I’d have the upstairs guest ready and take my cue from them-if they show an interest you I’d offer, otherwise I do feel a bit boastful.

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 22:19

Our previous house was on the market for a while, so we had a good 18 months of viewings. I think you can lose your sense of privacy in your home while you've got that going on. And after having removals people and family traipse all over the new place it takes a while to get that feeling of privacy back. That's why it doesn't feel weird at first, maybe.

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OhTheRoses · 01/09/2020 22:19

It's very weird. If friends of ours wanted to show us their bedroom I'd wonder if they were swingers.

CrazedInsomniac · 01/09/2020 22:20

Wasn’t intended to ‘put you in your place’, OP. It’s just not something I ever encountered in my life till I lived in England, and I found it incredibly weird. I moved to a village on maternity leave where the regular baby group met in people’s houses, and there seemed to have been a lot of renovations, as I suddenly found myself part of a group nodding at en suite loos and thinking up admiring remarks about landing carpet.

AlanBrazil · 01/09/2020 22:21

Reminds me of about 10 years ago, in our last house. We'd been in about 3 months when my DD had a sleepover. When friends mum came to collect the next morning, she mentioned that they were thinking of buying a house on a similar development. Out of nowhere, I heard myself asking if she'd like a tour... as if I had some kind of 'tour-worthy' house.

I didn't Grin

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