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Original poster

When do you stop showing people your upstairs?

205 replies

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 21:50

We moved house in January and when family and friends first popped round to visit we "gave them the tour" - pretty normal ime to show people round your new house, including the bedrooms.

Anyway, with lockdown and whatnot we have a few friends who hadn't yet visited us at the new place. One of them is calling in later this week and I've realised I feel a bit weird about showing her round, and I definitely think it would be strange to show her upstairs.

Is that just me? Is there a statute of limitations on "the tour"??

Obviously this is completely lighthearted and I'm relaxed about visitors, just amused that I've realised I have some strict rules in my head about it!

OP posts:
AnnaBegins · 01/09/2020 22:21

Totally with you! And yes there's a clear cut off point of acceptability but it's definitely just in my head. And then if people come over who haven't seen the house or e.g. new bathroom I have the whole internal dilemma about offering a tour. I have no useful consensus but we'd been in our house about 9 months when covid hit and it was already starting to feel weird.

DefinatelyAWeeGobshite · 01/09/2020 22:21

Normal where I am in Scotland! Can’t really pinpoint when it gets weird though.

OhTheRoses · 01/09/2020 22:25

I've lived in England since 1960. It's weird.
I guess if I ever have a House big enough for visitors to pay to see it, I might let them see the main bedroom!

AnnaBegins · 01/09/2020 22:25

Ok DH says after 4 weeks it's weird!

motorcyclenumptiness · 01/09/2020 22:25

I’ve lived in lots of different countries and have only ever come across the idea that visitors are pining for a look at your new bathroom and bedroom feature wall in certain segments of England.
When I lived in France, I was given (unsolicited) 'the tour' of all my neighbours' homes. It's nice.

MNX42 · 01/09/2020 22:25

I think it's quite normal in a new house, and I've been given 'the tour' abroad too, so it's not just an English thing.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 01/09/2020 22:26

Normal here, esp if the house is brand new (because everyone wants to know what that new development is like) or old (because if you live in a weird old house, you and you mates will be discussing damp and rot in windows and do you know a good carpenter...)

I fondly recall taking a 6'3" friend through our 5'9" attics...

Elouera · 01/09/2020 22:29

I personally think if the home owner offers a 'tour' that's one thing, I would never think to ask for a tour of someone elses home though Confused

I'm currentIy in a 2 bed flat. From the front door, you can almost see all rooms. I brought a Czech work colleague in, and she asked for a tour. I was rather suprised TBH!

We are now moving to a 4 bed house. Happy for a tour currently, but not sure I'd be happy once its updated and lived in.

NancyNoNickers · 01/09/2020 22:31

It’s a thing in Northern Ireland, and across all “classes”. Everyone shows everyone round the first time they visit a house, whether it’s tiny or a massive mansion. I love the tradition cause I’m a nosy cow.

Elouera · 01/09/2020 22:31

I meant to ask, which areas of the Uk is the 'tour' a normal and expected thing? Just curious, because I wasnt born here.

Beachhuts90 · 01/09/2020 22:31

I'm American and I feel like it happens much more in the US than the UK. In the US often it's not even when you've recently moved but the first time someone comes to your house.

Devlesko · 01/09/2020 22:34

I can see why you don't want to now, as you have well settled in.
It's not quite home in the first few weeks when everything is new.
Just say no if they ask, tell them you weren't expecting to.

VashtaNerada · 01/09/2020 22:35

It’s been years since I moved house but I think I would only do that with a very, very close friend or family member. Can’t imagine showing guests round my house!

Purpleice · 01/09/2020 22:38

We were invited over specifically to admire a friends’ new patio. They are middle middle class, for reference. It was very nicely done.

GolightlyMrsGolightly · 01/09/2020 22:38

I didn’t realise it wasn’t a thing. I always want a nosey round a friends new house or even nor new if I haven’t been before. It’s nice to see how someone is settling in.

Parents from Scotland....middle class.

We’ve been in since January but I’d still do the tour!

CherryPieface · 01/09/2020 22:41

Definitely something we do here in Scotland. We moved in July, loving showing my friends around.

GameofChess · 01/09/2020 22:43

@OhTheRoses

It's very weird. If friends of ours wanted to show us their bedroom I'd wonder if they were swingers.
I think I'd have eaten the footstool my tootsies are currently residing on if Roses hadn't turned up on this thread OP to tell you (in so many words) how common you are. This is catnip to her. Don't encourage her FFS or we'll be here all night.

I'd wait & see if your friend hinted or asked by the way.

Seeingadistance · 01/09/2020 22:43

Scottish, and yes, definitely a thing here.

Time40 · 01/09/2020 22:45

I think this must be an English lower-middle-class thing

Nope. I've been given "the tour" by a pair of aristocrats. I didn't ask for "the tour".

CrazedInsomniac · 01/09/2020 22:45

@motorcyclenumptiness

I’ve lived in lots of different countries and have only ever come across the idea that visitors are pining for a look at your new bathroom and bedroom feature wall in certain segments of England. When I lived in France, I was given (unsolicited) 'the tour' of all my neighbours' homes. It's nice.
I lived in France for ten years, and the only time anyone ever showed me around their house was when it was a very old family house with some very weird unmodernised features.
Delbelleber · 01/09/2020 22:46

If I was getting a tour I would want to see upstairs😂

SentientAndCognisant · 01/09/2020 22:46

It’s pretty regular occurrence in Scotland & Ireland to offer folk a tour/nosy neb about
if you don’t folk will do so themselves, get “lost” going to the bog and open every door, go in every room, every press, just to have a neb

DefinatelyAWeeGobshite · 01/09/2020 22:48

@SentientAndCognisant

It’s pretty regular occurrence in Scotland & Ireland to offer folk a tour/nosy neb about if you don’t folk will do so themselves, get “lost” going to the bog and open every door, go in every room, every press, just to have a neb
YY to this!!!
MeepleMe · 01/09/2020 22:49

Very normal in my world, southern England. I love seeing around friends houses, it's nice to put a face to their stories.

user32723 · 01/09/2020 22:49

The first time I went to my most middle class friends house I was offered a full tour right to the attic, and I'd say they'd lived in it about a year then. I remember wondering if it was just a middle class thing Grin. But since more and more friends have bought houses I've had a tour from most of them. I think it's nice, and it's usually just excitement of a new house. I don't think it's expected after you've lived there a while though.