Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

When do you stop showing people your upstairs?

205 replies

Scrunchcake · 01/09/2020 21:50

We moved house in January and when family and friends first popped round to visit we "gave them the tour" - pretty normal ime to show people round your new house, including the bedrooms.

Anyway, with lockdown and whatnot we have a few friends who hadn't yet visited us at the new place. One of them is calling in later this week and I've realised I feel a bit weird about showing her round, and I definitely think it would be strange to show her upstairs.

Is that just me? Is there a statute of limitations on "the tour"??

Obviously this is completely lighthearted and I'm relaxed about visitors, just amused that I've realised I have some strict rules in my head about it!

OP posts:
LivingMyBestLife2020 · 02/09/2020 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bloodybridget · 02/09/2020 00:14

I love seeing other people's houses so would be v pleaded to be offered a tour when visiting for the first time or after major renovation! Am obv common as muck.

anorangeaday · 02/09/2020 00:14

I also love looking around other people’s house so I’d be happy for people to look around mine

disappointingdessert · 02/09/2020 00:15

I'm a nosy cow so I love seeing other people's houses. In fact, if you could all take room by room photos and post them here that would be grand. Ta

2018SoFarSoGreat · 02/09/2020 00:15

oh God I am obviously very low class and a show off :( Oh, and Scottish.

I offer the tour to those staying over, so that they know the lay of the land. Also, good friends or family visiting for the first time. It seems perfectly normal to me.

If you think about this though, it does sound weird. It never felt like that. Until now. Thanks, Roses & Insomniac.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/09/2020 00:16

@LivingMyBestLife2020

So looks like Mr Sunshine may be biting the dust. He text today to say something had happened and he wanted to tell me about it in person, sooner rather than later. He came over to mine and dropped a pretty big bombshell. Not something I want to discuss right now and not something he knew about when he started dating me. It wasn’t necessarily a deal breaker, more something he’d have to deal with before we could move anything forward. I offered my support as I’m too kind and he was pretty down. We ended up in bed, he insisted after I said I didn’t want to take advantage of him, well it was terrible. His heart was definitely not in it and I asked him if he wanted to stop a couple of times and he said no. Bless him, he tried to soldier on but what nature gave him was already lacking and that’s without not being able to keep it up 😩 I think he was pretty embarrassed as well as worried/down about his recent news. He apologised and skulked off and I reckon I won’t hear from him again.

Back to the apps it is then!

Ermmm.... was this before or after the tour?
RunningHoops · 02/09/2020 00:20

I think this must be an English lower-middle-class thing.

Ouch. That's you told OP! Grin

Original poster
Scrunchcake · 02/09/2020 00:23

@Wearywithteens

Omg I hate this! If you live in a mediaeval castle or have a priest hole or a haunted tower - then yes I’ll have a tour. A normal family home? Yawn. I came for the company and the wine - couldn’t give a shit about your wetroom en-suite and your bifold boredom.
If you hate it, you hate it. Fair enough. But just out of interest, are you that demanding in conversations with friends? If one of them mentions they're getting some work done on their house, would you show interest and chat about it for a bit or yell that you DON'T GIVE A SHIT STOP TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR FECKIN WALLPAPER?
OP posts:
MNX42 · 02/09/2020 00:25

So looks like Mr Sunshine may be biting the dust.
He text today to say something had happened and he wanted to tell me about it in person, sooner rather than later.
He came over to mine and dropped a pretty big bombshell. Not something I want to discuss right now and not something he knew about when he started dating me. It wasn’t necessarily a deal breaker, more something he’d have to deal with before we could move anything forward. I offered my support as I’m too kind and he was pretty down.
Had he offered a visitor a tour of his house, and been exposed as lower middle class English?

Original poster
Scrunchcake · 02/09/2020 00:26

@LivingMyBestLife2020 The important question is, did you show Mr Sunshine your upstairs?

OP posts:
SentientAndCognisant · 02/09/2020 00:33

think this must be an English lower-middle-class thing.
You’ve been telt.
Read the thread

NoMoreMrNiceGaius · 02/09/2020 00:45

Oh God hoe I dread The Tour. My in laws insist on getting it every single time they come over. We have been living in the same house for 4 years. Confused They can't just see the new lamp (and why do they even need to?) They have to see the whole house, every. bloody. time. Also my MiL opens the door to my very messy laundry room every time and asks what's behind it, appearently she can only remember it for 2 hours at a time.

HoppyHop · 02/09/2020 00:46

I have friends who are obsessed with searching Rightmove but no intention of moving, they would love to see around our (any) new house (one even drove a good few miles to look round our new caravan!). Others not so much so I wouldn't bother offering. Same goes to showing any renovation works. Horses for courses as they say!

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/09/2020 00:49

@Scrunchcake

Isnt it, Upstairs Outside before Upstairs Inside, then Downstairs Outside before Downstairs Inside?

I think her mistake was showing Mr Sunshine round in the wrong order.....

2018SoFarSoGreat · 02/09/2020 00:50

we need to figure out a universal symbol for 'willing to host the tour' and 'willing to be toured' then we won't offend those with our crass, low class efforts.

I second @disappointingdessert and would love nothing more than an MN house tour. Think of the fun. AND how much reverse googling it would engender. :0

Poor Mr. Sunshine.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/09/2020 00:54

No one gets a "tour" of my bedroom. That is my and my husband's personal space. Fuck off, weirdos.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/09/2020 00:56

@2018SoFarSoGreat

You know how some hotels at the seaside say "Bar open to non residents" or "Residents only"?

Maybe there could be a choice of "Viewings open to non residents" or "Lounge and downstairs loo only, kitchen by arrangement" signs?

PhilCornwall1 · 02/09/2020 04:29

Omg I hate this! If you live in a mediaeval castle or have a priest hole or a haunted tower - then yes I’ll have a tour. A normal family home? Yawn. I came for the company and the wine - couldn’t give a shit about your wetroom en-suite and your bifold boredom

I'm with you on this. We are getting our bathroom done and a neighbour said "I must come and have a look when it's done". I wasn't even talking to the nosey sod about it. I was asking someone else if they knew a decent tiler and she chipped in.

They can fuck off. It's a bathroom. It's got a bog, bath and basin like the majority of others and a guided tour is not required.

whiplashy · 02/09/2020 05:00

this isn’t normal where I’m from but def weird where DP is from!

Desperado24 · 02/09/2020 05:11

Weird.

I have never been in any friends bedrooms or main bathrooms or their kids rooms.

Proper strange behaviour in my book.

I have been in my brother and his wife’s bedroom once when they had an electrical issue in there that I fixed for them and all three of us found that a bit weird to be honest.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 02/09/2020 05:20

I was very bemused to be shown around a friend's 3 bedrooms when I went to dinner at her new house before lockdown. It was kind of sweet she was so excited but I did think God, no one else has done this to me in years and years. To me it feels like a slightly old fashioned thing to do.

Goatinthegarden · 02/09/2020 06:05

I love a house tour but I would absolutely never ask (I spent lockdown watching the online tours estate agents put up to sell houses). I would only expect to be given an upstairs tour if someone has just moved/renovated though. I wouldn’t expect a tour from a casual acquaintance either, only really close friends/family.

Once friends and family have seen my upstairs once, I wouldn’t expect them to look again (guest bathroom and guest bedroom are downstairs) however PIL freely wander around looking for the cat who usually hides from them under my bed and will just WALK INTO MY BEDROOM to do so. Irritates the life out of me. Luckily they only bother to visit about once every two years.

stoptheworldiwant2getoff · 02/09/2020 06:24

We went to a bbq in our friends new house and were told on arrival, no tours! I was gutted, was ready for a nosey haha

Fishfingersandwichplease · 02/09/2020 06:26

Remember having this conversation years ago with so.eone and we were saying you only tend to show people around upstairs when you first move in!

Bluntness100 · 02/09/2020 06:36

I’m Scottish and it’s totally normal, my close friends are all southerners and they all do it.

However I find it a bit boastful, not when others do it, but when I do, so tend to only do it if someone asks.

When we moved here I showed one friend round because she asked. Then on her next visit she showed my other friend round, as in she literally said “cmon then sue I’ll show you round” and proceeded to do so with me tagging on behind.,🤣

I’ve no issue with them looking round obvs, and they were staying over, just I find it a bit cringe and show offy.