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Original poster

Please talk me down, my son nearly died today

185 replies

FeatherLoverGod · 26/08/2020 22:05

On holiday in Devon and Have had the worst day of my life today. DS11 who has autism got caught in a riptide and nearly drowned. Had to be rescued, nearly didn’t find him in the sea. I had to be rescued trying to rescue him. Coastguard called and everything. Lost sight of him when he was washing sand off His legs, he started swimming underwater and I thought I could see him but it was someone in the same wetsuit. I panicked and ran to the shoreline. somehow caught sight of a head bobbing once out of the water 30 metres out. I grabbed a man and screamed thats my boy please help me. He just swam for it. I followed and got sucked in, felt so powerless. A teenager pulled me out and dragged me back to shore by pulling me on his surfboard. Didn’t know if DSwas drowned or alive. Took 15 minutes for get him out as the riptide was so strong. Can’t believe he is alive. I feel utterly sick. Every time I look at the sea I just see that head bobbing and i could throw up. I know that at least he is safe now but it’s awful. That guy, Christ, I owe him everything. And the teenager that rescued me was his son. They were amazing. What a fucking day. I can’t stop crying and feel like such a shit mother. I just lost sight of him, there were so many kids in the water with wetsuits similar to his. He refuses to talk about it, won’t let me hug him etc as he hates that but I want to just grip him close to me and inhale him. Please help and talk me down

OP posts:
Horsemad · 26/08/2020 22:07

OMG you poor thing, you are probably in shock. Do you have someone with you?

Thisismytimetoshine · 26/08/2020 22:07

Glad you're all ok. Was the riptide not signposted?

MoreCookiesPlease · 26/08/2020 22:08

Oh OP.... Big big hugs... I know it's shocking and you're still in shock but take some deep breaths and remember that you're both safe and sound. Don't feel bad about being a shit mum - it wasnt your fault at all.

beelzeboob · 26/08/2020 22:08

Wow how traumatic! Have you been offered any counselling or anything? Have you got anyone with you now?

flapjackfairy · 26/08/2020 22:09

Oh you poor thing. How terrifying. Don't beat yourself up though. It is not your fault and it is so easy to get into trouble.
It will take a while to feel safe again so be kind to yourself. So v glad you are both safe . Thank the Lord for that man and this son x

MrsJonesAndMe · 26/08/2020 22:09

Oh my goodness. I don't know what to say, but just wanted to send you a big (((hug)))

MarshaBradyo · 26/08/2020 22:09

Oh gosh so pleased people helped you, so scary

FastAndCurious · 26/08/2020 22:09

Oh my goodness OP thank God you’re both ok.

This was not your fault. You will be in shock, keep repeating to yourself that he is ok, he is still here. Do you have people around you?

Original poster
FeatherLoverGod · 26/08/2020 22:10

I do but Ds is adamant I can’t talk about it so I’m sat in the bedroom just shaking and crying while he is watching tv with his dad and brother. They’ve been lovely but they weren’t there at t time, they were doing a surfing lesson so they didn’t witness it all. I can’t seem to make them understand How utterly horrendous it was. I mean they do in an intellectual sense but they didn’t feel it right at that time if you see what I mean. He was rescued by the time they got there. Thanks for replying

OP posts:
Totickleamockingbird · 26/08/2020 22:10

This sounds terrifying! What a nightmare it must have been! Don’t be so hard on yourself. You have every right to be completely lost for a while. It sounds traumatic just reading about it. Hold him tight tonight and a few more nights until you slowly start to feel better and put this behind you. Do you feel you or your son could have done anything differently to avoid it? Or do you think there should be clear warnings around that area? May be work on a campaign and write to a few people so this doesn’t happen to anyone else. It will make you feel better too. You were very brave. I would have fainted probably. Be kind to yourself. Flowers

Meanameicallmyself20 · 26/08/2020 22:11

Oh OP, your message sent a shiver down my spine. What a scary thing to happen and not your fault. You must be in shock and your son too. Amazing hero who helped. Incredible what people do. Take it easy and rest so you can process it all. Xx

FudgeBrownie2019 · 26/08/2020 22:11

You're absolutely not a shit Mother, it's one of those awful, freak accidents. I'm so sorry, for both of you. Has he settled down ready for bed now? If so, would it make you feel better to just quietly sit with him while he sleeps?

Huge love to you, OP, I can't imagine the fear that's coursed through you. It will take a while for that anxiety and adrenaline to reduce so give yourself some peace and some calm time if you're able. Do one task at a time - put on pyjamas then once you've done that, make a warm drink, then search for a book that'll hold your attention, and just focus on each individual task at a time. It will pass, this horrid feeling that's there right now. And we'll be here with you til it does.

Flowers
clairethewitch70 · 26/08/2020 22:11

Thank you to the heroes who saved you and your son x

Original poster
FeatherLoverGod · 26/08/2020 22:11

No signs about riptide, no guards, its Saunton Sands Owned by the MOD I think. Afterwards several people
Said it’s well known but I had no idea. Thanks for being so kind I just keep torturing myself

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 26/08/2020 22:12

Oh @FeatherLoverGod what an awful experience!
You were both so lucky, thank God those lovely people were there!
I can't blame you for wanting to hug your boy close, but guess he's probably processing the experience himself and needs a bit of space?
Have big (((hugs))) from me and Wine and Gin and Cake to ease your poor nerves xxx

MsWonderful · 26/08/2020 22:12

Fucking hell. Thank god you both survived Flowers

Original poster
FeatherLoverGod · 26/08/2020 22:13

I owe them everything. I wish I knew how to contact them they were heroes

OP posts:
Cheeeeislifenow · 26/08/2020 22:13

One of my worst fears, so scary op. You are all safe now that is the main thing, give yourself some time to process it.

Austriana · 26/08/2020 22:15

It's natural to feel this way, you are processing what happened. You're not a bad mum, you reacted quickly and got your son out of danger. You were really brave. And of course the people who helped you are incredible. Sending hugs to you xx

daisychain1620 · 26/08/2020 22:16

I can't imagine how you're feeling, I hope you're ok. This isn't your fault, my goodness so stop that horrible thought. I'm sure he'll get lots of extra hugs.
Be kind to yourself

Original poster
FeatherLoverGod · 26/08/2020 22:17

Oh thank you for your kindness. I’m a bloody wreck

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 26/08/2020 22:17

Be kind to yourself feather, you are bound to be feeling emotional and still very upset. But you are still both alive. Count your blessings and find a large vat of Gin to enjoy 😊

Yankathebear · 26/08/2020 22:18

I’m glad that you are all safe. I’m in Cornwall and we see it a lot. Some beaches are signposted and some aren’t. I think they think they will scare away the holiday makers! Crazy.

You were both very lucky. Well done to the man and the teenager!
If he won’t let you hug him give your husband a massive hug.

SaltyAndFresh · 26/08/2020 22:19

Jesus, I fear this. I'm so glad you've both come out of it ok. Hope you have Gin

MarshaBradyo · 26/08/2020 22:19

What ifs are tortuous. I’m not surprised you feel a wreck.

I wish I knew the best way to process near misses like this. But I know it’s normal to feel as you do.

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