Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 2

[bearlyactive]

To answer the most recent question...

What to do to stop procrastinating?

Take a nap. Keep procrastinating until it gets boring.

And my next question is...

How long will it take for this thread to fill up?

Because you never went to bed.

Why am I still cold?

Because you are naked by the freezer section in Waitrose

Where is my cat's ball? (She's lost it again & is sitting here complaining miaowing)

In the Land of the Lost Toys.

Where is the Land of the Lost Toys? My cat would dearly like to know.

It's in my local charity shop

Where are all the decent men in this world??

At your local wetherspoons at 10am having a pint

How much mess willmy 9yo create baking?

None as she's going to be next years Great British Bake Off Winner.

Will Christmas cakes/turkeys/brussel sprouts/wrapping paper/crackers be rationed this year?

No, but you will only be able to buy Christmas cakes/turkeys/brussels sprouts/wrapping paper/crackers. Everything else will be unavailable from December 1st and will not return until March 21st. The Christmas Spirit and the Blitz Spirit will be one and the same.

Why can't the weather make up its mind? My windscreen wipers need to know.

The weather has a long-standing feud with your windscreen wipers - so never.

Will I ever perfect this project?

Yes it will all be done. Anneka Rice is just about to arrive with her team to film Challenge Anneka with you.

Why do birds wake me up at 4am ?

They don't want you too miss the dawn chorus
Will Joe Biden become president ,as I have just watched an old episode of friends and chandler said there will never be a president Joey ?

Yes Joe Biden will become President as his nickname is JBiddy & in his spare time raps with PDiddy, Jay Z & Kanye.

Who will Kim KW choose as her running mate in the 2024/2028/2032 US election?

Tinchy Stryder (going with the rapping theme).

I'm making sticky toffee pudding tonight/tomorrow night - will it work?

No, it will transform into rosewater blancmange the moment you put it into the oven.

Should I have something other than tuna mayo in my jacket potato tonight?

Prawn.

How am I going to clean up the mess from when I was ill? Set fire to my bedroom?

Call for a house elf.

Does my 7yo think I'm her personal assistant with nothing better to do than drop off lunch for her at school?

She is in fact in training to be the next Dalai Lama so you and everyone around her are her personal assistant,s
Are elephants intelligent?

Of course.

Will my sticky toffee pudding work out?

Yes it will lift 40kg weights today and do a 5 mile run.

When is the best time to start Christmas shopping?

Anytime last century.

What did Tom Joneses cat say when Tom said "What's New Pussycat?" ?

Not much Tom,what's new with you
Can magpies swim?

If they have had swimming lessons from the ducks, then yes.

What is the ominous thumping noise coming from somewhere in the house?

A herd of baby elephants.

HOW did my sticky toffee work out?

It worked out a bit too well, hence its now stuck to your walls, ceiling & the cat.

Why can't I be bothered to cook tea/dinner?

Because people were ungrateful last time and now need to be told to do it themselves if they don't like what's on offer.

Anyone fancy a pre dinner drink?

No, I'm a cactus. I only drink once every season.

Will I survive DD2's biology homework?