Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 2

[bearlyactive]

To answer the most recent question...

What to do to stop procrastinating?

Take a nap. Keep procrastinating until it gets boring.

And my next question is...

How long will it take for this thread to fill up?

The garden (counts as a room right?)

Why are teenagers so difficult?

It's in the genes

Why can I hear a very high-pitched noise?

You're a bat!

Why does a child need to urinate urgently exactly halfway to a destination?

To allow the driver a break.

Where is the cat right now?

Snuggled up on my settee,
How many time will we have to self isolate before Xmas ?

1.5 times

How many people will use the excuse I couldn't buy you a Christmas present because I was isolating

7 billion.

Why is almost everyone at my work younger than me?

Because you are Captain Jack Harness and immortal.

Why is my phone so slow

Because it's not a phone it's a tortoise that you've been trying to make calls on, that's why you can't get through to anyone.

Why is it me that always has to empty the bins?

Because I always have to walk the dog it's only fair ,why is it only Monday ?

Because tusday cant be arsed getting out of bed

Is it ok to have crunchy nut cornflakes for breakfast and dinner

No, as a mumsnetter you can only have lettuce and chicken on a Monday to last the week, while your children eat enough to feed a country while still being so skinny you can see their ribs.

What have I forgotten?

Your personal trainer.

Is it possible to have a personal trainer with internet-only contact?

No they're booked up till 5th March 2034.
Thought you could try your luck with booking a telepathic personal trainer.
I get a feeling that they may have some slots available.

What's the upcoming new John Lewis Christmas 2020 advert all about?

Togetherness and Christmas parties.

Will it snow this winter?

The brain eating microbes in Texas.

Will my parcel arrive tomorrow?

No, it will be arriving in approximately five seconds.

What are the current COVID-19 guidelines in the UK?

...

And now?

...

And how about now?

No breathing for 2 metres.

Wear a gimp suit in all shops.

You mustn't directly touch the group as it's infected. It's hot lave infected so use anything available as stepping stones.

Is everyone else starting to get covid fatigue?

hot lava pavement - don't get infected... stay above the ground....

Current covid restrictions are mandatory 24 hour hugging contests and Boris is encouraging Davina Mccall to bring back filming street mate in every city UK wide

Why is Joanna Lumley such a national treasure ?

This is the best year ever, not sure what people are complaining about!

What will i see on my evening stroll?

Pedigree puppies

Why am I so fecking knackered?

You were out dancing at the disco all night.

Why is my dog moaning at me?

She's sick of clearing up your shit in little poop a scoop bags!

Would you rather be married to BJ or D.Trump?