Hi,
So my friend and I have known each other for roughly 10 years. We hit it off straight away and even though we don't actually see each other that often, we, I would have said anyway, are very close.
Anyway, over the past 5 or so years, our lives have gone in different directions. She broke up from her long term partner (father of her dc) and since then hasn't been lucky in love, to put it mildly. She also lost her job a year ago and has been on benefits whilst trying to start her own business. I moved away (not that far) and married DP and are financially very comfortable. I have never spoken about money, but it will be obvious I suppose, given we have a bigger house in a more expensive area etc.
Earlier in the year (before covid....those were the days) we were out and had had a few cocktails and she just came out and asked what DP earned. I was a bit taken aback and remember actually blushing, which I don't really do! It wasn't just the fact that she asked me, it was the way that she asked me. I nervously laughed "you can't ask that" to which she replied, "what's the big secret? I want to know how you can afford to live in x". I felt almost compelled and so I told her, which obviously now I regret, but I didn't want to appear secretive or rude, which was almost what she was implying.
Straight away, she looks cold. Almost pissed off actually and said something along the lines of "it's alright for some". I remember feeling really awkward and the night was cut short.
I put it down to too much booze and wasn't going to bring it up and just wanted to pretend it hadn't happened.
Since then though, every time we talk she manages to steer the conversation to the subject of money. It's actually bloody tiring. I feel like I have to watch everything I say now. Don't get me wrong, I was always sensitive and mindful of her situation, so would absolutely never brag, but now I feel like we can't even chat about every day mundane things without her making me feel guilty or spoilt.
I was nearly in tears the last time we spoke, because she asked "how are things in your perfect life then?".
She knows how far from perfect it is. I've had it tough for a very long time. Poor MH, bad past relationship, very difficult DC. I would be genuinely over the moon if things were better for her! And I would have been, regardless of my own financial situation.
The strangest thing is, she's always put very little value on money.
I don't want our friendship to fizzle out - I genuinely love her to bits, but if this continues, I can't see how we can continue to be friends.
WWYD? Am I right to be upset? Is this fixable?