Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My life is completely fucked

218 replies

Blanketyblanket · 12/08/2020 22:30

And I’m at the stage now that I’m just giggling at the entire ridiculousness of it all. So far this year

  • my marriage has broken down, I have become a single mum and stbxh is showing no interest in the kids that he asked me to destroy my career to raise
  • I have found out stbxh has spent a 5 figure sum on prostitutes during the last 3 years but has also been earning 5 times what he told me he was
  • stbxh has installed either spyware on my phone or spy cams in the house as he is aware that I slept with someone a couple of nights ago
  • the man I slept with a couple of nights ago (who has been lovely to me for months despite me making it very clear I wasn’t after a relationship) blocked me about an hour after sleeping with me
  • my children have gone completely feral during the last 5 months of school
  • I have found out today that I have more abnormal cells on my cervix despite having half of it burnt off a few weeks ago
  • it’s dc1’s birthday on Friday and I’ve got him hardly anything and don’t have time to get him anything without him also being there
  • my best friend has post party’s psychosis and has been sectioned as she was threatening to mill herself. She is convinced her family want her dead as they were the ones who requested the assessment that resulted in her being sectioned so I am the only person she wants to communicate with
  • my dm kindly took the kids for an hour this morning so I could have a swim and clear my head and I got bitten by a cunting seal

I don’t know what to do. I’m drinking gin at my kitchen table right now and alternating between giggling at the complete wreckage of my life and sobbing.

OP posts:
InsaneInTheViralMembrane · 13/08/2020 17:46

@Itsjustabitofbanter about 4 years ago a Shetland woman had an orca encounter! It’s on YouTube somewhere. She had the sense to make a “star shape” so it could see immediately she wasn’t a seal.

WouldBeGood · 13/08/2020 17:53

Oh my god, @Blanketyblanket what a time you’re having! Bitten by a cunting seal too 😂

Seriously though, I admire you for finding anything funny just now. 💐

Though you have seriously increased my terror of swimming in the sea, generally while pretending to my DS that I’m not terrified at all.

Original poster
Blanketyblanket · 13/08/2020 19:02

Dh told me he spent the money on prostitutes as I found an enormous wad of cash at the back of his wardrobe when I was angrily throwing his stuff in bags because he wouldn’t leave. He told me that he liked to know he always had enough cash for a beautiful young woman as it distracted him from the thought of having to shag me. Shagging me is like shagging a wall apparently. I’d sort of laughed it off at the time as him just being a dick. Then getting blocked by someone almost immediately after sleeping with the is a bit hard on the self esteem though. I’d tried really hard to not be like a wall too. Oh well.

I don’t know if Dh knows that I’ve been blocked or not. He definitely knows that I had someone over the other night as he was calling and calling and leaving me loads of messages telling me that he was going to come over (he wasn’t, he’s about 200 miles away). So I don’t know if he’s put something on my phone or if it’s some weird spy cam or something. I’ve got a new phone since then as I panicked but I hadn’t put the two together before sending lots of messages to my friend about how crap I was at sex.

OP posts:
YourObedientServant · 13/08/2020 19:25

Christ that's rough. I can see why the blocking by the seemingly nice guy would be incredibly hurtful in the circumstances, but it seems like he got what he was after and unfortunately some people are just not what they seem. Shitebag.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 13/08/2020 19:29

If stbxh asks you about the other night, just look at him blankly. If he persists, ask him what the fuck he is on about.

then shove him in the sea and let the cunting seals have him

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 13/08/2020 19:32

And as for him having sex with beautiful young women - they were beautiful young women he was fucking paying to shag him. Jesus Christ, I'd be keeping it quiet if I had to pay someone to shag me, the silly twat.

The combination of the prostitutes and the seals has made me think of the episode of Disenchantment where Matt Berry's character fucks an island full of walruses.

MrsGrindah · 13/08/2020 19:34

OP you really must change your user name to Bittenbyacuntingseal

Whatisgoingonhere · 13/08/2020 19:35

He was no doubt saying that about sex to get a rise out of you. And the blocking thing, men can be cunts and are just after one thing sometimes, it’s happened to me. They think with their little brain, they’re after notches on the bed post. At least you know now he’s a complete loser rather than finding out later!!

Vodkacranberryplease · 13/08/2020 19:38

Beautiful young women - yeah that wouldn't touch you with a barge pole mate. Ugh. Any man who says this kind of thing is invariably a crap shag. I have plenty of experience and I can tell you that it's unlikely to be you that's the bedroom dud here. Highly unlikely. Just tell him it's because his dick wasn't quite up to the job.

You wait, you'll meet someone who shows you what proper sex is and you'll realise - he wasn't it. Oh my god what a creep. Sleazy revolting creep.

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 13/08/2020 19:39

Yes - although notnice guy blocked you - at least you didn't have to pay him for his services. Grin

How does STBX even know he blocked you anyway?

Flowers Wine Cake for you OP

Willowmartha1 · 13/08/2020 19:41

Sorry but the cunting seal has cheered me right up SmileSmileSmile

MitziK · 13/08/2020 19:41

Whatever you do, after you've taken STBX to the cleaners, met somebody who is a better shag than the 1hr block guy (by the way, pretend you haven't got a clue about what he's on about - he'll soon say he was driving past or some such snippet that'll let you know what he's done to 'prove' his knowledge), had a great birthday with DS - for fuck's sake, don't go anywhere that has Great Whites.

SweetBillie · 13/08/2020 19:49

Seals are aggressive little fuckers. I live by the coast and don't go swimming too far out because the little bastards do bite. And they don't generally break the skin, it's more like a test to see if you're a big fish to eat.

OP you sound awesome. Your STBXH is awful though - if he has put spyware on your phone, he could be prosecuted for voyeurism. As for the shag, forget it. Some blokes are as shallow as a puddle and once they've done the deed, they lose interest. He's not worth wasting another minute thinking about. I hope your abnormal cells can get sorted swiftly and your child has the best birthday.

Chin up and keep positive Gin

Friendsoftheearth · 13/08/2020 19:51

YOU do sound totally amazing though op, so even if your life is going to shit right now, I am willing to bet a pretty hefty sum - lets say a six figure house on the fact you are going to bounce back and some! You will, because you sound fabulous and the seal loves you clearly as well.

You can't do anything for your friend right now, she is in the right place and will be sorted out by the professionals. Your dh was a complete and utter shit, on the upside his extra salary will help you when it comes to splitting the assets.

As for the other guy have you considered that your ex may have got to him if he is using spyware? Hold off on taking that one to heart until you know the full story. And there is more where he came from anyway, you can have a whole life time of wild sex once this is over.

to you Flowers and Gin you WILL come through this!!!

OldQueen1969 · 13/08/2020 21:03

Just wanted to add my admiration for your fortitude and gallows humour and send you Flowers and Gin - as someone who goes through life as though it's an exceptionally badly written, straight to DVD B movie, I utterly sympathise. This year in particular has been a shit show on so many levels - every time anyone says "Well, things can't get any worse" it seems the Universe wipes its mouth on its sleeve and responds "Hold my beer...."

So keep hanging on - I hope all gets resolved in your favour and soon as possible...... and have an unMumsnetty hug.

I think your cunting seal may go viral....... Wink

chipperfish · 13/08/2020 22:01

Was thinking of this thread and couldnt find it anywhere
Thankfully it comes up when you search for posts containing the words
'cunting seal'
Hope things are going better for you today OP

Original poster
Blanketyblanket · 13/08/2020 22:05

I’m drinking and crying again. So it’s going well.

OP posts:
WouldBeGood · 13/08/2020 22:07

Oh @Blanketyblanket, everything will be ok. You can get through it and MN will help you.

Original poster
Blanketyblanket · 13/08/2020 22:11

Thanks wouldbegood.

oldqueen1969 that’s exactly how I feel at the moment. My friend was saying that it couldn’t get any worse for me just last week but then it turned out she was mad and had to be sectioned. I’m fully expecting a grand piano to fall on my head tomorrow at some point.

OP posts:
Vodkacranberryplease · 13/08/2020 22:16

Well it's perfectly understandable under the circs. No one here is going to suggest you have a cup of tea and think about inviting Jesus into your life.

It's been a rough few months and was probably a pretty shit marriage for quite a while. You are allowed to be less than thrilled about it FlowersGin

Original poster
Blanketyblanket · 13/08/2020 22:17

Tbh if someone asked me to join a cult right now I’d be up for it.

OP posts:
whatisheupto · 13/08/2020 22:17

OP you sound amazing. And you know what, the good news is you are through the worst! You have found out all the shit and found out what an absolute bell end your ex is. Now you can start building. But of course this will take some strength and your body and soul need a bit if time to muster it up. You are at a really hard part now, the drama and shock of the past few months have passed and the adrenalin is draining out if you. But don't worry, time is yours now. You will get there, in your time. You are rid of dick head. You have found out he earns loads so your settlement will be good. Lovely new life is being laid out in front of you. I really think you have a wonderful future.

Frosty26827 · 13/08/2020 22:24

Shitty life at the moment, but you sound an awesome person ...... I’d love to be your mate

WouldBeGood · 13/08/2020 22:26

It’s exhausting when you have these emotional shocks too. Are you sleeping and eating ok?

If not, ring doctor and ask for help? I got beta blockers and diazepam when I was in a similar state of upset. 💐

Original poster
Blanketyblanket · 13/08/2020 22:29

I know it’s stupid but out of all the things that have happened being blocked by the guy I slept with is the thing that has really hurt. I knew stbxh was a dick. I’ve known that for years and tbh I’m not that surprised he’s been checking up on me as he’s done similar in that past. My friend being sectioned is awful but I’m doing my best to help and I’ve had abnormal smears before (never still abnormal after laser treatment though). The seal is a cunt but I knew that already as well.

I didn’t even like this guy that much, he was nice but fairly boring. But the sex was amazing and I wasn’t being anything like a wall and I still get blocked by him within an hour. It was the first time I’d had sex in years and the first time I’ve been naked in front of someone else for over a decade. I just feel like such a tit.

OP posts: