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Original poster

My life is completely fucked

218 replies

Blanketyblanket · 12/08/2020 22:30

And I’m at the stage now that I’m just giggling at the entire ridiculousness of it all. So far this year

  • my marriage has broken down, I have become a single mum and stbxh is showing no interest in the kids that he asked me to destroy my career to raise
  • I have found out stbxh has spent a 5 figure sum on prostitutes during the last 3 years but has also been earning 5 times what he told me he was
  • stbxh has installed either spyware on my phone or spy cams in the house as he is aware that I slept with someone a couple of nights ago
  • the man I slept with a couple of nights ago (who has been lovely to me for months despite me making it very clear I wasn’t after a relationship) blocked me about an hour after sleeping with me
  • my children have gone completely feral during the last 5 months of school
  • I have found out today that I have more abnormal cells on my cervix despite having half of it burnt off a few weeks ago
  • it’s dc1’s birthday on Friday and I’ve got him hardly anything and don’t have time to get him anything without him also being there
  • my best friend has post party’s psychosis and has been sectioned as she was threatening to mill herself. She is convinced her family want her dead as they were the ones who requested the assessment that resulted in her being sectioned so I am the only person she wants to communicate with
  • my dm kindly took the kids for an hour this morning so I could have a swim and clear my head and I got bitten by a cunting seal

I don’t know what to do. I’m drinking gin at my kitchen table right now and alternating between giggling at the complete wreckage of my life and sobbing.

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 12/08/2020 23:07

Print off a bank statement? Council tax bill? They are online but you can print a copy same with gas and electric bill?

List your shit list

1 get cunting seal bite looked at
2 get ex arrested for spying on you

Etcetera

Don't worry about ghosting guy he is clearly a twat and not worth the effort of changing the sheets for

Cheetahfajita · 12/08/2020 23:08

Top your glass up for me sweetheart.

Fucking seals with their cute faces. More vicious than a koala.

SilveryWrath · 12/08/2020 23:10

"Bitten by a cunting seal" sorry that made me laugh. You should complain to the leisure centre manager for sure Grin

(sorry )

Original poster
Blanketyblanket · 12/08/2020 23:11

Thank you for listening to my self pitying winge. WRT the seal, it didn’t break the skin but I’ve already got a massive bruise starting. They’re bastard round here m, particularly at the moment as people keep feeding them.

I can’t really report stbxh to the police unfortunately as if he gets a criminal record he’ll lose his job. That would mean he wouldn’t pay the mortgage anymore so I’d be even more screwed. I’m white tempted to tell his mum as she’d give him a real bollocking.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 12/08/2020 23:13

It never rains but it pours does it?
On the plus side, you have GIN!!
You have a friend who is worse off than you who thinks enough of you to be the only person she trusts.
That seal? What is that about? but it sounds like you live in a lovely costal location, so together with the gin that is a huge plus.
The new bloke is a twat and you can enjoy bitchy chats about what a total douchebag he is and count yourself lucky on the escape
Watch the embarrassment on the car hire faces as you hand them the letters.
Sounds like you are going on a well deserved jaunt with your lovely kids and you've given the stbx his marching orders.
I think you have gone through a mountain of crap, but my only advice would be, enjoy the rest of the summer despite all these Frogs and don't forget to bring extra tonic, one always runs out.

Desperadododo · 12/08/2020 23:15

@Blanketyblanket

And I’m at the stage now that I’m just giggling at the entire ridiculousness of it all. So far this year
  • my marriage has broken down, I have become a single mum and stbxh is showing no interest in the kids that he asked me to destroy my career to raise
  • I have found out stbxh has spent a 5 figure sum on prostitutes during the last 3 years but has also been earning 5 times what he told me he was
  • stbxh has installed either spyware on my phone or spy cams in the house as he is aware that I slept with someone a couple of nights ago
  • the man I slept with a couple of nights ago (who has been lovely to me for months despite me making it very clear I wasn’t after a relationship) blocked me about an hour after sleeping with me
  • my children have gone completely feral during the last 5 months of school
  • I have found out today that I have more abnormal cells on my cervix despite having half of it burnt off a few weeks ago
  • it’s dc1’s birthday on Friday and I’ve got him hardly anything and don’t have time to get him anything without him also being there
  • my best friend has post party’s psychosis and has been sectioned as she was threatening to mill herself. She is convinced her family want her dead as they were the ones who requested the assessment that resulted in her being sectioned so I am the only person she wants to communicate with
  • my dm kindly took the kids for an hour this morning so I could have a swim and clear my head and I got bitten by a cunting seal

I don’t know what to do. I’m drinking gin at my kitchen table right now and alternating between giggling at the complete wreckage of my life and sobbing.

On the bright side it can’t get much worse right?

I’ve been there. I was there 5 years ago, and now kinda back there. My current life is comically bad, but seriously bad in a lot of ways.

Where were you swimming to get but by a seal?!

You’re going to be fine I promise! Your humour in times like this will get you through!

Big Covid free hugs to you and your seal bite! X

wowfudge · 12/08/2020 23:16

Do it. Can you get someone to do a sweep for bugs and get rid of whatever he's set up? I realise that sounds bonkers, but if you won't involve the police, could be worth.

Fightthebear · 12/08/2020 23:16

That’s the sealiest animal encounter I’ve ever heard.

I went on a seal watching walk/tour and we were warned not to get too close they do bite, sounds like you got off lightly.

Sounds shit tbh, on the upside he’s a stbx Gin

KingaRoo · 12/08/2020 23:16

If you have evidence that he spied on you make sure you keep it in case you need it in the future.

Sorry for all that's happened. At least now you've hit rock bottom life can only get better Grin

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 12/08/2020 23:18

Sorry. I'm pissed. I've been out with my friends and I don't think I can get up the stairs yet. That's all shit but the bitten by a cuntung seal - I love you and I wish you were my fiend. I have nothing useful. x x

fwwaftp · 12/08/2020 23:19

I'm so sorry OP, you've been having an awful time and then you wrote "bitten by a cunting seal" and I can't stop laughing. That's the funniest turn of phrase I've heard in yonks.
Thank you for that because I have been having a shit time too.

However, I will try to stop laughing long enough to say, please keep an eye on the seal bite and seek medical treatment immediately if anything at all looks odd.
Then go back through your OP and take each of the points and decide if they are something you can do something about or not.
Eg. you can't do anything about the fact your arsehole STBXH spent a fortune on prostitutes so try to file that away for now (you will have to deal with it at some point - my ex also used prostitutes and it is a difficult thing to come to terms with.

On the other hand, you can do something about DC1s birthday present - no reason why he can't be there when you choose something. If you don't want to go to a shop, choose something online with him.

Go through the rest of your OP and apply the same logic to each one - can I do something about it, yes or no.

Good luck

Nicknacky · 12/08/2020 23:19

Have you had the bite treated?

howfarwevecome · 12/08/2020 23:20

Keep the evidence re the spy cameras. You may want to use it against him going forward.

And I'm sorry everything is so shit right now. Flowers

Italiangreyhound · 12/08/2020 23:22

"I have found out today that I have more abnormal cells on my cervix despite having half of it burnt off a few weeks ago"

What does the doctor say, what is the plan for treatment. I am so sorry this must be so worrying.

Hang on in there, it is going to get better.

"my children have gone completely feral during the last 5 months of school" lots of our kids have, don't take it personally.

Very sorry about your friend and your stbex. you are definitely better off without.

How old is your child with the birthday?

I am so sorry you got bitten by a seal. What a strange thing to happen.

Thanks
Vodkacranberryplease · 12/08/2020 23:25

Ok so the good news. You can take that prick to the cleaners and get a fuckload more money than you originally thought. The hookers and surveillance will piss you off so much that you'll hopefully be willing to go for it. The surveillance may even, as a PP said be illegal! So I'd definitely go after him for that and be telling all and sundry about his antics too.

This gives you an excellent excuse to drink gin too.

As for the guy who blocked you. WTAF. I'd be inclined to say that stbexh got to him. You need to fucking destroy him. And you need to give that guy a massive telling off.

Next Friday gives you time to get other stuff sent to you - just. A freeman's card perhaps? 😁

And finally it's the worst cliche in the world but it should can only get better. Your friend will recover. A bitten by a seal story is a fantastic one though not half as exciting in RL I should think.

The abnormal cells are statistically unlikely to be anything serious and I'm sure you are on top of it. All children are feral right now. Show them the seal bite and say it knows where you live and had said it will bite them too if they don't behave.

And for gods sake you might as well drink all the gin. It's not like it's going to make things worse is it?

icelollycraving · 12/08/2020 23:29

Oh love, that is a bastard of a year.
Order stuff online with next day delivery (if you can afford it) for birthday.
Get your seal bite looked at. Vicious little fuckers, who knew?
I’d wonder if your ex was somehow involved with you being ghosted? Perhaps threatened him?
Get your phone, laptop and home checked for spyware.
See a shit hot solicitor to get you a good whack off shitty ex.
Sorry about the medical things for both you and your friend.
GinFlowers

IndieTara · 12/08/2020 23:31

OP my now XH also spied on me in a number of ways after we'd split. I didn't involve the police as I knew he'd take it out on DD if I did. I wish I had though as things escalated and I might have been able to stop that by going to the police.
( I did have to involve them because of him a few months later but for a different reason )
You cannot control the things he chooses to do, just how you react to them and him.

MuseumOfYou · 12/08/2020 23:31

You can take that prick to the cleaners and get a fuckload more money than you originally thought

That was my first thought! 5 times as much maintenance.

Chin up, tits out! You sound like a strong woman if you can keep a sense of humour in this situation - you've got this!

Daphnesmate01 · 12/08/2020 23:32

That seal? What is that about? but it sounds like you live in a lovely costal location, so together with the gin that is a huge plus.

I'm slightly diverted by the seal thing

I've had an awful day, now estranged from the last member of my extended family but I'm sitting hear with tears rolling down my face through laughter. I'm glad you're okay re. the seal op.

MadameMeursault · 12/08/2020 23:33

@backseatcookers

Oh love, fucking hell what a bastard of a time you've had. I'm sure some people will be along with some grown up advice but I wanted to say that being able to use the amazing phrase 'bitten by a cunting seal' at such a shit time makes me think you're probably an absolute fucking legend Thanks
^ this with bells on. You sound awesome OP, to have got all that shit on your plate and still be able to laugh. One small piece of advice: Amazon Prime for DC1’s gifts. And Flowers for you
Daphnesmate01 · 12/08/2020 23:33

if you can keep a sense of humour in this situation - you've got this!

Daphnesmate01 · 12/08/2020 23:38

Obviously the rest isn't funny and I hope you get your health worry sorted soon op .

Rachel1350 · 12/08/2020 23:41

You sound overwhelmed and overloaded. My advice would be to treat yourself like a child who needs a lot of TLC. Go to bed, sleep, be kind and gentle to yourself. Take the time you need to recuperate and recover from the shocks you've had recently. Look after yourself and you'll feel a lot better for it.

SerendipitySunshine · 12/08/2020 23:41

How did a seal bite you?

HillyJilly · 12/08/2020 23:41

Oh my god. This sounds so badfor you and I'm so sorry.
Small things small things. One day at a time. Itll get better. How old are your children? Are they old enough to understand things are pretty difficult, let's help, cut mum some slack?
Can your eldest accept momey or choose something online to be delivered?
Nevermind STBXH. He's obviously a cock. Concentrate on you.
Other man can sod off too. He's done you a favour, the rubbish has taken itself out.
Health first. You first.