Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only.

[bearlyactive]

For example:

Q: "How do you cook an egg?"
A: "Fry it on the bonnet of your car, especially in this heat."

My question to you is...
Why do storks raise one leg?

Why is the cat scratching the door?

Because he's trying to get to nania

Why cant my husband cook?

See previous post. Because said cat is a government controlled arsehole

He can. He's just having you on.

Why cannot I not bear to look at Matt Hancock?

I'm sure that double negative means I can bear to look at Hancock. To be clear, I cannot

Because he was the worst one night stand you ever had 😂

Now where have all my daughters black socks gone to?
(She had 20 pairs at the beginning of the year & now we are down to 3 pairs & 3 odd ones)

They've all identified as unicorns and gone to fight in The Tooth Fairy wars.

What are the chances of DH getting my takeaway order right later - even with it written down?

Unforgivable @TracyBeakerSoYeah. I feel queasy now

Make sure that the husband who orders the takeaway is the husband you have given the order to.

Ok where have all my teaspoons gone too?

All the teaspoons have declared your kitchen a teaspoon free area and are sunning themselves on the beach

How many magnums should I have for supper ?

Teaspoons have gone to join the circus

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Terminal velocity - 4 plus a brick

Who shot the sheriff?

@imnotimportant

Terminal velocity - 4 plus a brick

Who shot the sheriff?

The Great Human Canonball Act at the Lawless Circus without Frontiers.

Why are spiders so unsettling and likely to provoke fear and loathing?

Less than Concorde but more than the space shuttle.

Why don't the goldfinches at the end of my garden eat the Niger seeds I put out for them ?

X post spiders are so unsettling because they are actual an alien species and. Let from Earth. See also boris Johnson and cats.

Now, back those those fussy goldfinches, what's up with the Niger seed ?

Bloody hells bells ^ not from earth.

Martha Stewart

How much wood could a wood cutter cut if a wood cutter could cut wood?

More than a wood chuck.

What's the best way to make salsa?

@HillyJilly

More than a wood chuck.

What's the best way to make salsa?

By blaming it on the bossa nova and crushing the ingredients beneath your feet.

Is toothache the most irritating everyday non-malignant sort of pain?

s toothache the most irritating everyday non-malignant sort of pain? no thats love
why do birds suddenly appear when youre near?

Because you've got millet for hair.

Where have all the flowers gone?

Because your pockets are full of seed.

Why don't I switch off my television set and go out and do something less boring instead?

Because you are watching tiswas.

Why am I stuck on a roasting bus in a traffic jam

Because you are are having a fling with the bus driver & when he/she had dropped off the last passenger you are going to get down & dirty with each other on the back seats.

Why don't humans have 3 arms?
(Would make life a whole lot easier & quicker)

Eek you are little close to the truth @TracyBeakerSoYeah ( well about 15 yrs ago )

Because we can't make jumpers with three sleeves

Why does my cat eat flys ?