Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only.

[bearlyactive]

For example:

Q: "How do you cook an egg?"
A: "Fry it on the bonnet of your car, especially in this heat."

My question to you is...
Why do storks raise one leg?

Because it needs a hug.

Where have all my DD's black socks gone to?

Because it didn't put a jumper on.

Why is the sun yellow?

Cross Post

Because it had its' colours done and that was its' most flattering shade.

What is gravity?

It's what keeps you from getting up and doing the washing up.

Why are blackberries prickly?

They are all in appallingly bad moods.

How many roads must a man walk down?

As many as the mice ask him to

Is it catching?

No, it's too busy granting wishes

When is Pimss O clock?

Never

Why are some men dickheads?

It's always Pimms o'clock

Why can't I be a millionaire?

Because you are already a billionaire.

How long is a piece of string?

One hour.

What does the fox say?

The fox says 'AIBU - my she fox makes a hideous noise when she is horny and the whole neighbourhood can hear her'

Why does everything my colleague says annoy the shit out of me?

Because your colleague is Boris Johnson.

How do you win pin the tail on the donkey?

Redefine the donkey to mean the whole room.

Why can't children put the tops back on felt tip pens?

Because there are tiny little magnets on the lids and on the tips that repel - adults are stronger and can put them on.

Why does my cat want to sit outside during this rain?

Because it’s thirsty.

Why do my shorts keep falling down?

Again, magnets. Attached to the bottom of your shorts. You've obviously walked over a patch of them.

Will this thunderstorm actually clear the heat?

Cat in the rain:
So there's less chance you'll try to give the cat a bath. (My cat's fur is lovely after it's dried from being rain-soaked!)

Shorts falling down
Because they're trying to cover your bare feet.

Thunderstorm
The lightning is the heat being zapped away.

What happens if you lock your children in a cage, and tell them you're acting out Hansel and Gretel?

They go into nursery the next day and say to the keyworker "Mummy says you mustn't lock children in a cage".*

Will DS come home from the shop that is much too far away with an ice cream for me or will DH dissuade him from bring me a pool of melted cream?

*At least, that's what my DS did after we watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

They say you are the best DM ever. You have a great relationship for ever.

Why do you get an increased sex-drive when you are menopausal ?

Why do you get an increased sex-drive when you are menopausal?
Because God wants to reward you for the down sides

Why did my husband marry me?

Why did my husband marry me?

Because you're his wife.

Why is the cat scratching the door?

The former, then you can take a swim in the pool of melted cream to cool down

Why does chilled wine taste extra nice at 16:44 on a Wednesday?