What cringey phrases are common in your workplace?

[Soubriquet]

Mine seems to favour

“Smash this”

Makes me internally shudder everytime I see I written. And it’s wrote a lot

Lately we were treated to the chief exec's 'survey of the post COVID landscape' following our organisation's 'journey with COVID'

I wondered if she had perhaps written it on the train

My random suggestion
"Let's spread the marmalade" then watch some smartarse think they have a clue whats going on whilst I titter on the sidelines.

What the heck is "good financial hygiene" 🤔 I ask this as an accountant. Never heard of it!

An office I worked in had an awful phase of using the word "piece"
"we need a training piece on this" meant that people don't know what they're doing and some training needs doing.
"There will be a feedback piece required", "audit piece", you get the idea.

I was typing up meeting minutes during this phase and it made it harder to just write what was going on as it bothered me so much. Maybe I should have cut the minutes in to little pieces 🙂

@Joans3rddaughter omg tomorrow i am definitely suggesting "let's spread the marmalade" baaahahahaha

Circle back
One source of truth
Let's take this offline

My boss is very fond of telling us recently that he is " fleshing out an email". WTAF makes me cringe. I just have visions of a big fat email coming my way with loads of information to digest.

‘Let’s get that lubricated’ is my suggestion. Maybe it could replace ‘socialise the concept’ which really means it isn’t a consultation because we don’t want your feedback but hope you’ll be so weary of hearing about it by the time we actually do it you won’t complain too much

Push back.

It's the least collaborative phrase ever.

One of my colleagues says they will "craft an email / paper" and it does my fucking head in.

I really like this person but one day I'm going to snap, and shout "Write. WRITE ! What the fuck is wrong with write!"

Be sighted on

'Can we make sure x is sighted on that'

Let them know about it then?
Or check they've read their email since they did't bother to show up or indeed Teams in.

"When shit hits the fan" (you want me to clean up)
"Quick win" (you do it then)
"Mood music" (whatevers playing at your funeral)
"Singing from the same sheet" (nobody got the song sheet)
"Let's take it offline" (yeah baby)
"Its not going to move the dial" (it will if you get off the scales you lard arse)
"Client journey" (to hell)
"Roadmap" (to hell)

There is a guy at my work who seems incapable of undertaking any task without mentioning a "mapping exercise". Drives me mad!

"Let's draw a line under that and move forward" = I don't actually give a fuck about your opinion

"the forefront of our minds"

As in, consider something or make it a priority.

I don't know why keep it in "the front of our minds" won't do.

When the shit hits the fan.

'meet with' or 'met with' instead of just 'met' or ' meet'.

"Mitigate" (every other bloody word)

"Speak truth to power" (hmmm...)

"Let's add some social value" (without any concept of what it means or how they will do it)

All of which make me think in my head ODFOD.

cologne4711, Oh yes I had forgotten we no longer have slides, we have slide packs.
Agree with "speak truth to power". What is this crap?
I do like bend and snap, going to see if I can get it into discussion tomorrow.

I meant slide decks. I knew packs sounded too normal

“Let’s take this offline”

“Actually I think we should discuss here”

My boss used to talk like a normal person and then he went on a management programme and started using all these phrases

The first time he suggested we 'take this offline' I had no idea that was like when your mum used to hiss 'we will talk about this later' when you asked her embarrassing questions in public.

He is also fond of 'thinking outside the box' and 'seeing the bigger picture' whilst 'going forward'. Especially so when any practical concerns are raised about his great ideas.

He is also very keen on 'comms'
'Let's consider the comms on this one'
Ie is there any chance I can get on the local news again

SMT senior management team
DMT divisional management team
EMT emergency management team

THEY ARE THE SAME PEOPLE

"Business as usual" or more annoyingly just said as "BAU"

"We'll take a view on that"

'Can I touch base with you on that?'

Erm not sure. It sounds vaguely rude to me.

@Bowchicawow you are slaying me, probs we work in the same place.