What cringey phrases are common in your workplace?

[Soubriquet]

Mine seems to favour

“Smash this”

Makes me internally shudder everytime I see I written. And it’s wrote a lot

“Open and honest” as in “I think you need to have an open and honest discussion” Not so bad a phrase in general but it’s said constantly about every situation !

And while I’m at it “make positive contact” meaning give them a call and hope they answer

"You're all over it" is banded around quite a lot around our office. Sometimes I don't feel really quite like I am all over it. If I am, I wonder whether i am more like a lotion or a rash.

Projects 'taking off' and 'landing' as if they're a plane

One version of the truth

'Time for a cuppa' meetings

Suggestions...
I think we should hang the washing out on this one.
Let's drain the dregs of this contract.
Let's blow the bubbles.
Savannah thinking.
Let's typhoon it.

Work in a school so not as bad as some of you have to deal with, but 'gotten' is suddenly everywhere - adults, parents, kids all saying it all the time. I'm sure this time last year no one said it as much. It sounds stupid to me. I know it's a legit past participle and language evolves before anyone starts. But it sounds really affected.

Also 'impact' every 5 seconds.

Heads up
Reach out
Jump on a call
Deep Dive
Post (instead of after) eg "I'll circle back with you post the meeting"

Open kimono

What does this actually mean??

I so want to drop it in and one up my boss with even more obscure management bullshit but I don't want to get it wrong

Ah yes StealthPolarBear - slide decks appeared in my org around the same time as Covid - they are slides, we don't shuffle them!!

Deep dive (or loads of work agonising over minute details for senior folks to end up picking up on a trivial point and spending the whole meeting talking about that rather than the main issues)

Holding the pen - this us my new fave phrase to hate (basically who is leading on preparing a document that loads of people need to contribute to)

I'm now wondering whether to suggest a game of bullshit bingo for our team weekly lockdown challenge

On the list I'll have
Drumbeat
Digital Transformation
Onboarding
Reshaping (ominous this one)
Any acronym I don't know what it means like STROP

Really want to try spreading the marmalde out

Touch base
Let's not reinvent the wheel
Horses for courses

Growth mindset
Evolution not revolution

Also 'one version of the truth' hasn't made it to my workplace yet

I mean that is just very, very stupid isn't it? Don't history and psychology and common sense tell us there is never one version of the truth.

Those are very strange NotNowPlzz

*If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.

It's my boss's favourite phrase and it makes me want to throw things*

Really hoping you're not one of my team! I'll practice ducking,just in case!

Believe me in engineering there's one version of the truth and it's mine.

Let me ping them.

To bring you on the same page.

Thanks in advance.

Top of mind

Weekly check in

All hands meeting

Rrr...

Steer as in "what's the steer" " I've had no steer on this" just say you don't fucking know what your doing or you haven't been told what to, it's like people are too scared to ask for "thoughts"

Onboarding/ To onboard! It's not a verb!
The takeaway from this is... (also seen it in dissertations now!)
Likewise Webliography (when a Bibliography sounds like just too much hard work).
The heli-view (think helicoptering...)

Email that contain the following phrases:

In furtherance
Moving forward
In terms of
Not withstanding

@NotNowPlzz - love your suggestions, especially savannah thinking and let's Typhoon it ahahahahaha

The word cohort also seems to be eerwhere at the moment. My cohort, that cohort over there. It has a proper meaning, doesn't just mean group.

Happy Monday everyone! Moving forward, let’s practice some good financial hygiene, circle back to solutionise by the close of play, and kick any problems into the long grass. We need a can-do approach to unwrapping this envelope. Let’s smash this, yeah? I’ll ping you all an email re touching base and Teamsing the gang about taking an holistic approach to this post-Covidian landscape.
Gracias!

Going forward
Drill down
Granular
Town hall meeting - for staff meeting.
Tech savvy (love the double v though)
Operational requirements

Hot desking. Just fuck off with it

Yep.

And "it is what it is" meaningless, banal.