What cringey phrases are common in your workplace?

[Soubriquet]

Mine seems to favour

“Smash this”

Makes me internally shudder everytime I see I written. And it’s wrote a lot

I'm so glad it's not me that hates Going Forward!

"Pivot"
Basically management decide to change something at great expense. Lots of retraining of "stakeholders". It then takes 3-6 months to decide it doesnt work. So return to as you were. Utter bollox.
I am not bitter much

Yes to ‘jumping on a call’ and ‘ping me an email’ - hideous
Ditto ‘what’s coming down the pipe this week?’
‘Feedback loops’
Argh

“Build out” as in we've bottomed out the deep dive and now we going to build out the concept
Or ..”we need to build this out” (we need to do it)
Grr

Deep dive!

Love this.

Dh actually used one of these in a normal conversation with me.

“When will the egg be laid?”

Basically he meant when will the decision be finalised? I’m going to listen into his conference calls tomorrow. Lord only knows what other garbage he’s spouting.

I just checked with him. It was actually “has anyone laid an egg on it yet?”

Sunset as in "when we sunset the old system" = stop using it
New ways of working = hotdesking in Starbucks
Transformational change = we're going to sack a bunch of you, then realise it was a mistake and end up spending even more re-hiring

I work in the public sector, lots of frontline staff, there has been a huge shift to being very very positive and encouraging during the coronavirus lockfiwn...with some phrases that make me cringe
"A huge shout out to...."
"Going forward..."
"Reaching out"
More recently these have been joined by "deep dive" and "agile working"

Cool beans !

Feckin hate going forward.

"No deep dives" is actually on our daily meeting agenda. 🙄

We've had decks for years now, I wondered wtf they were till I figured out it meant a PowerPoint presentation.

There's a lot of "getting a steer" going on.

Collaborative working
Co-production
User engagement
Close of play
Covid-secure

That last one is the worst!

In case nobody has mentioned them, 'comfort break' and 'bathroom break' are equally contemptible. Usually heard in meetings or training courses, both roughly translate as 'does anyone need the bog?'

I say "I'm going for a wee" with close colleagues but in formal meetings I'd stop for a comfort break :o

@WindsorBlues

Thought leaders I work with academics. Every time I hear I think of thoughtcrime and nineteen eighty four

Are we colleagues?? I didn’t actually know this was a buzzword outside my workplace.

“Across the piece”. Hate that one

My company how ever lovely has a culture of talking about "the piece" about every task we do

I'm finding myself using it more and more

My colleague and I play bull shit bingo on a regular basis

P.S what does granularity mean?

In the round is a new one to me.

Safety moment

I work in venture capital - so pray for my soul. Pretty much every single one of those phrases used daily by my colleagues, plus whatever the next wave of US management nonsense... Without irony.

Open the kimono means reveal the gory details on a company or a deal. Yep, every bit as bad as you feared. I told my lot within about a week c2015 that it was a misogynist and racist phrase. When they queried it, I said ok, but it also made them sound like muppets, so, up to them.

@grumpypreggers

So many... "it is what it is", "let's get our ducks in a row", "we don't want a bun fight over this"

Do you work for mumsnet?

This thread has had me chuckling away, thanks. I have little to add apart from yy to fucking ‘cascade’ and in case no one has said ‘workstreams’ and ‘additionality’. What the actual.

Not in our jurisdiction 🤮

LOTS of the above, especially 'reaching out', 'going forward' 'sustainability' 'consult the playbook' 🤬

And my favourite gem:

"Bringing best of Firm"
(and Firm has to have a capital F so I'm reminded Tom Cruise each time)

Actually, lots of random capital letters mid sentence where they don't belong - Firm, Office...

I very much hate "drill down". It makes my face twitch.