What cringey phrases are common in your workplace?

[Soubriquet]

Mine seems to favour

“Smash this”

Makes me internally shudder everytime I see I written. And it’s wrote a lot

I think I must just have a filthy mind. They all sound really rude to me.

The first time it was suggested I participate in a 'deep dive' I nearly slapped the person

Endless, endless reaching out. It almost sounds normal to me now.

So-and-so is across this / We’ve been across this all day. (ie So-and-so is doing this.)

Hopping on a call.

Can we huddle? (I don’t know? Can we? Will HR get involved?)

And I once caused sudden silence in a large open-plan workplace when I mused out loud that I hated “deep dive” because it made me think of deep dicking.

'Pushback' and 'iteration'.

Thankfully not as bad as some on this thread, but the managers at my workplace use "signpost" as a verb, e.g. "We're signposting to facilitate access to appropriate support."

"Good job" - so patronising
"Going forward" - translates to "now you've finished moaning let's get back on track"

A friend does high fives at her work place, I find that odd.

If you think the NHS is bad for acronyms, try the Military! I have returned some emails saying if you wish me to respond please re-write in English.
FYI becomes FYSA - for your situational awareness.
What was wrong with FYI?

@livefornaps

I'm crying!!!!

Let's all try tomorrow to insert some random ones:

Airing the petticoats
Hop aboard a penny farthing
Get lost in the choo choo train
Bend and snap

I love this. Let's bend and snap it to high heaven!

In my old job we used to have a 'bi-weekly' twice a month. Surely, bi-weekly should mean twice a week, not month!!
Also had a lot of going-forwards and reaching outs. And 'warm regards'.
I did enjoy discussing the 'product roadmap' though, that used to be interesting.

"Reach out"... "I'll reach out to him", "Thanks for reaching out", "She reached out to me". All the bloody time. I joined six months ago and am determined not to fall into saying this but it is SO BLOODY HARD WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SAYS IT ALL THE TIME. I previously worked in another company in the same sector and no one said it all!

Also, emails that start "Happy [day of the week]!" At first I thought it was quite chirpy and sweet and just for Fridays, then you log on to an inbox of people wishing you a Happy Tuesday and saying so and so has suggested they reach out to you and I start to feel a bit stabby.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool, oh yes, hopping on a call here too. Do we work in the same place?!

Dear God, I wouldn't last a week in the corporate world. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

I'm a teacher so it's mainly:
Ofsted deep dives
Learning walks
Capitalising on learning power
Value added attainment
Triangulation (planning, book outcomes, marking)
Aspirational learning journeys

That kind of thing. Gets in the way of the actual teaching.

@WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee

'Can I touch base with you on that?'

Erm not sure. It sounds vaguely rude to me.

Yes!!!

My boss says ‘touch base’ all the time.

I once misheard it as “touch bums”.

Now that’s all I hear.

'The post-covid landscape' is delightfully dystopian! I like that one 😁

I cringe when colleagues describe a project or idea as "sexy". We deal with building projects, we are not marketing lingerie!!!

Bleurgh.

At the moment synchronous and asynchronous. No fucker can pronounce them. Doesn't stop everyone using them

How could I forget all the euphemisms for cuts

We are 'facing a sustainability challenge' and there will need to be a 'transformation' but of course 'all stakeholders will be involved in the consultation'

Your service is about to get cut.

Can we touch base?

Holistic approach

🙄

I think one of the most ridiculous job titles I’ve ever heard is Scrum Master. What a pretentious load of wank it sounds.

The only one I can think of that I loathe is 'at this moment in time. What's wrong with 'now?'

How are you doing? (totally false question most of the time)
Heads Up
YOLO
LOLZ

Blue sky fucking thinking 🙄

@WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee Yep. We are currently going through a "Head Cut".

As if they've lost some of us...