The piece of bread on my living room floor has become a monument

[AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings]

DH is a being who operates on a higher plane than us mortals - a consequence of which is he just doesn't 'see' mess.

(He also has a very Busy and Important job so 'doesn't have time' to tidy anything either).

He dropped a huge piece of bread on the floor a few days ago. I've been monitoring it to see how long it would take before he would pick it up (yes, I could pick it up myself, but I always do it).

Today, he asked me to pass him 'that newspaper next to the bread'.

Not only is the bread not going to be picked up, it's now become some sort of landmark for us to navigate objects by.

Or a beloved family member or pet maybe?

Should I LTB (leave the bread)?

(I should add, he actually hoovered the floor this week- and just went round the bread )

That is astonishing.

You need to have a bread related conversation.

Do not pick up his bread!

Why on earth hasn’t he picked it up? I would of told him to shift it the minute he dropped it 😂

Definitely LTB, see how long it stays there before it biodegrades.

My kids are like this and it drives me mental

I love this. Although dog and kids would have eaten it if we did it here, I would probably be your husband in this scenario but hoovering around The Bread (it deserves capitals), is incredible.

You are basically describing my life but replace bread with socks or jumpers.

Write on the bread 'divorce me'.

My DH gets cross at me because when I put a new toilet roll on the holder, I leave the empty one on the sideboard in the bathroom and don't take it to the bin.

In protest he stopped taking them to the bin.

For 3 weeks (we're a family if 6, that's a lot of toilet roll) I started making art with the empty toilet rolls. We had pyramids, 3D pyramids, castles and forts.

It became very comical for everyone and was taken in good nature. Came to an end abruptly when teenage DD chucked them all without any though for my sculptures. How very dare she!

We need to see a picture of The Bread.

Due to us having a dog The Bread is The Shoes in this house

If you point out he needs to pick up the bread will it be your fault?

After all, you could have done it, it only takes a second and would be quicker than nagging him about it.

It hasn’t been there that long, you’re exaggerating and he was going to do it in his own time.

You’re being really nasty using The Bread to get at him as if he never does anything.

oK you do everything and he never does anything flounce

That is some serious commitment, to actively acknowledge The Bread but decline to do anything about it. Definitely do not pick it up!!

He has no respect for you. What is that advice that you should get him to say out loud, 'fuck you, AintOver, it's your job to pick up things I drop' every time he does this because that is what his behaviour is saying. Please don't laugh and think this is amusing or cute. It doesn't matter what sort of job he has. Some men act like this and they have very humble jobs, they just have a penis and think that makes them superior to their woman.

Sometimes only a huge battle of wills will do and this is one of those times. The Bread shall remain. It needs it's own fire-in-a-brazier and men in donkey jackets grimly standing over it, singing "we shall not be moved". Unless one of them is your lazy, oblivious husband, in which case it certainly fucking should be moved, by him.

All Hail The Bread

Make a little flag to mark the bread 'Est. 2020 by DH'

Sorry but this is hilarious. Does he expect you to pick it up?

How on earth can you restrain yourself from hitting him round the head with it?

It’s not funny it’s bloody disgusting (and I have quite low housekeeping standards).

He was going to do it in his own time! Why don't we have a crying with laughter emoji? Mumsnet has let me down.

Also I agree with the pp who said we need a photo of the bread

I can say with confidence that you don’t have a dog. Or toddler.

I had a similar situation when at uni living with 7 lads. Long story short one of them had soup for lunch, offered me some and then claimed because it’d been offered me last that made it my soup and my responsibility to clean up even tho I’d declined the leftovers. I took a stand and refused as anyone would and that bowl of soup stayed on the living room floor for long enough it took on a life of its own.
I eventually avoided the room altogether

I couldn't just leave it there as stubborn as I am.

I could definitely let a towel or pair of socks stand as a monument to my stubborn nature and my family's inability to acknowledge items they previously held but dropped but not food.

We've had ant invasions a couple of times over the years so I'm quite twitchy about leaving food uncovered anywhere in the house for longer than normal/necessary.

Good luck with bread monument, hopefully you won't have bug interlopers climbing it in an expedition worthy of Edmund Hilary.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

Make a little flag to mark the bread 'Est. 2020 by DH'

YESSSS!!! The Bread is now an independent territory.

Serve him a lovely sandwich for tea.

DH has a wash bag monument on our en-suite floor

He had to stay overnight at his Mum’s before lockdown and it’s been on the floor where he dumped it ever since. He just takes stuff out of it when he needs it rather than actually picking up the bag and emptying it out.

A few years ago, we had an empty shoe box on the dining table monument after he bought new trainers, we just continued to eat dinner round it. I eventually cracked and chucked it in the recycling