The piece of bread on my living room floor has become a monument

[AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings]

DH is a being who operates on a higher plane than us mortals - a consequence of which is he just doesn't 'see' mess.

(He also has a very Busy and Important job so 'doesn't have time' to tidy anything either).

He dropped a huge piece of bread on the floor a few days ago. I've been monitoring it to see how long it would take before he would pick it up (yes, I could pick it up myself, but I always do it).

Today, he asked me to pass him 'that newspaper next to the bread'.

Not only is the bread not going to be picked up, it's now become some sort of landmark for us to navigate objects by.

Or a beloved family member or pet maybe?

Should I LTB (leave the bread)?

(I should add, he actually hoovered the floor this week- and just went round the bread )

This thread has cheered me up so much! Please post a picture. You could even set up a breadcam!

Get a dog.
Or a big duck.

In the run up to Christmas my Mum told us not to bother bringing any cheese as she had got plently.
Christmas Day- Went to get the cheese for the cheeseboard...from her wardrobe!!!???
Stinky mouldy cheese went in the bin.
She honestly never even considered putting it in the fridge just thought to store it away until needed!!!

Has he had his sandwich yet?

Does he had attention deficit disorder? DH and son have this and would live in utmost squalor if I didn't clean up (I know, I know!) they literally don't see mess.

DS invited me into his pit one day ecstatic at this glorious huge tropical fish tank he had created. It shone out like a perfect jewel with delightful fish, pristine water, lighting and statues amid the carnage of dirty clothes and food plates and attempts to paint his room black and red.

A month later the tank was a green haze and the tropical lobster had eaten all the fish.

Why did you pick it up instead of telling him to?

@DPotter - I read this out to my husband who is an abject sofa sock-leaver, he admitted his guilt!

He hasn't left socks for that long but he opens his post about 3 times a year, sorts it into piles in the bedroom floor (often leaving the torn envelopes in another pile for recycling, but not taking it to the recycling bag) where they remain for several more months and the piles then get mixed up with one another again, and eventually he opens up another lot of post and maybe once a year he files it all, but maybe not before leaving a pile of it in the room where the folders are.

I do my filing by tax year, so I only have to get out at most two files at a time, but DH has separate box files for different things and getting them out seems to be a saga of mythical proportions.

Wait til he puts his phone on charge.
Remove and hide phone.
Replace with The Bread.

Add bread. A little more every day. At some point, he'll have to ask a question about it. If you're worried about decay, just add loaves, still packaged.

We had the bag stand-off in our house. My DH had been away and on his return set his overnight bag in the hall. It remained there for a day or two and usually by this stage I'd have put it upstairs but I decided to see how long it would take if I didn't do it.

He opened it and took things out of it, but left it sitting.

He stepped over it, but left it sitting.

It wasn't in an alcove or anything like that, it was sitting below the mirror as you come through the front door.

3 weeks later he eventually took it upstairs.

He is also guilty of moving his washed, dried and folded clothes from the bed where I set them to the floor and then leaving them there until he's tripped over them often enough that they need washed again and then he puts them in the laundry basket. Cracks me up.

@TwoTaggySits

He is also guilty of moving his washed, dried and folded clothes from the bed where I set them to the floor and then leaving them there until he's tripped over them often enough that they need washed again and then he puts them in the laundry basket. Cracks me up.

Did you mean to say “cracks me up”? Doesn’t sound remotely funny to me.

@TwoTaggySits

He is also guilty of moving his washed, dried and folded clothes from the bed where I set them to the floor and then leaving them there until he's tripped over them often enough that they need washed again and then he puts them in the laundry basket. Cracks me up.

That's really disrespectful. I stopped doing DH's washing in the Floordrobe years. I wasn't going to the bother of washing, drying and folding his clothes if all he was going to do was stick them on the floor and create house spider nests/walk all over them.

Luckily I'm extremely lazy patient and could quite happily play the long game. 'Doesn't see mess' my arse. They see it. They just think it's your job.

Fuck that shit.

Cracks me up as in really annoys me, not as in I find it funny. I don't.

Yeah. That’s not what “cracks me up” means.

Cracks me up can also mean “makes me laugh”. It has two meanings.

The other being “makes me mad”

@Smallsteps88

Cracks me up can also mean “makes me laugh”. It has two meanings.

No, that’s it’s only meaning.

eckhart now that is a grand idea!

You may not have heard both meanings but I have and they’ve been used throughout my life by many. You’re not right on this one.

And clearly @TwoTaggySits has heard the other meaning too.

OP you are officially my hero. I wish I could Leave The Bread (or our equivalent). But I always cave. Stay strong.

I don’t find this amusing. He’s playing power games with you. He has no respect for you. And you have a seriously shit relationship if you can’t ask him why he hasn’t picked up the bread he dropped.

Damn, just read that you picked up the bread! Still... I’m sure there will be another piece of bread another time.

It’s odd, DH is mess blind in the sense that his dirty socks probably have more chance of walking themselves to the laundry basket. But when it comes to things like a piece of dropped food on the floor, I’m more likely to do it and walk away (with every intention of coming back soon to pick it up) but he’d have zero tolerance and pick it up straight away.

He's also told me before that it's easier for me to spot mess because I'm very short and he's very tall so I'm closer to the ground.

Good one, op. You had me up to there. Oh and until a photo never appeared. I wonder why!