The piece of bread on my living room floor has become a monument

[AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings]

DH is a being who operates on a higher plane than us mortals - a consequence of which is he just doesn't 'see' mess.

(He also has a very Busy and Important job so 'doesn't have time' to tidy anything either).

He dropped a huge piece of bread on the floor a few days ago. I've been monitoring it to see how long it would take before he would pick it up (yes, I could pick it up myself, but I always do it).

Today, he asked me to pass him 'that newspaper next to the bread'.

Not only is the bread not going to be picked up, it's now become some sort of landmark for us to navigate objects by.

Or a beloved family member or pet maybe?

Should I LTB (leave the bread)?

(I should add, he actually hoovered the floor this week- and just went round the bread )

It sounds like he has entered a battle of wills having forgotten that The Bread was his which he dropped in the first place, otherwise why hoover round it and not just suck it up then remove the too big piece from the end, tossing it in a bin. I think The Bread needs a sign looking for its missing dropper!

I lived with 4 males at university. This was my life constantly. Once I wondered why there was a pan upended in the hall. I picked it up and a mouse ran out. 'Oh I caught that earlier' said flat mate. I moved in with now dh very quickly after.

Oh, I like the flag idea

I’m off to waste my entire afternoon making one for DH’s washbag 😂

😂😂 Is The Bread still there? I can sympathise OP...I think here actual food might get picked up but anything else dropped or out of place...maybe not..incapable of noticing! I don't do it, I just summons & point. Fair play to your determination not to crack.... let us know how long it takes til be gets it! I suppose with the restrictions, you can a bit of time to play with before visitors are looking at The Bread too!!!

It's empty shower gel bottles in this house. DH seems to think they will walk into the recycling themselves.

DH is a being who operates on a higher plane than us mortals

He sounds like an entitled knob

Astonishing

This has made me laugh out loud OP.
It much reminds me of a toolbox that my husband left in our lounge.....for three months!

I thought it was just us..

Me: why did you throw my coat on the floor and put your coat up on its peg?
Husband: I didn't throw your coat on the floor! It was already on the floor when I went to hang my coat up.

... clearly he is pressing you into a family pet!
A dog perhaps? (They are known to hoover up anything that is left- not just on the carpet, but also tables and even worktops.)

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

Make a little flag to mark the bread 'Est. 2020 by DH'

Please do this!

What would happen if you asked him to pick the bread up?

This is amazing. Please post a picture!

We have had the independent territories of

Empty Pringles tube by the sofa
Empty pop cans on the worktop above the recycling bin
Mugs proliferating by the bed

Quite a lot of the territories were resolved by lockdown, since DH now works from home and consumes his refreshments in the study. At last count there were 6 cans on his desk and 2 tubes.

I cook daily meals which he is "not hungry" for

Hilarious

Thing is.... we've got a toddler, three cats (who eat bread, weirdly), and we have robot hoovers too (as well as the big one) so I'm actually perplexed as to why it's still there.

We've got a repair man in at the moment (non-bread issue) but when he's gone I'll go downstairs and put a frame over it, and see how long it stays there for.

We once had a used razor blade on our bathroom windowsill for about 6 months. I feel your pain.

Why are you putting up with this crap? He's 'too busy and important' to pick up something he has dropped? Bread or cat poo. He dropped it; he picks it up.

Have some self respect.

The day he looked in the cupboard for a glass and bemoaned there were none (because I'd stopped bringing down the ones he was leaving upstairs to see how long it would take), was the same day I laid my lovely new patio...

Oh my goodness, your frame is better than my flag! Please do this!!

To not pick up after your own mess is so childish. I really feel for you op.

I read an almost identical story the other day (?Twitter), except it was a sock in the middle of the living room floor instead of a piece of bread and a remote control that the DH asked someone to pass him rather than a newspaper. The writer also commented that the sock had become a "landmark".

I think this is rather too similar to be a coincidence...

i dont get why you havent said are you blind or stupid yet

is he usually this way

I couldn't live with a guy who shows me contempt like this. It's obviously your job to pick it up.

I take it he's a high earner? Why else are you staying?

Crumbs, op. I don't know Hovis has happened but I guess he's just decided to roll with it. Ciabatta decide whether you're going to stand for this much longer, or if you can just baguette about it until you're old and crusty.

I’m with @fuckinghellthisshit: it should feature as part of his dinner. He has to see you prep it, though. If he asks, tell him you thought he’d left it there to air dry...

If that doesn’t drive the message home you should defend LTB.