The piece of bread on my living room floor has become a monument

[AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings]

DH is a being who operates on a higher plane than us mortals - a consequence of which is he just doesn't 'see' mess.

(He also has a very Busy and Important job so 'doesn't have time' to tidy anything either).

He dropped a huge piece of bread on the floor a few days ago. I've been monitoring it to see how long it would take before he would pick it up (yes, I could pick it up myself, but I always do it).

Today, he asked me to pass him 'that newspaper next to the bread'.

Not only is the bread not going to be picked up, it's now become some sort of landmark for us to navigate objects by.

Or a beloved family member or pet maybe?

Should I LTB (leave the bread)?

(I should add, he actually hoovered the floor this week- and just went round the bread )

What a twat.

CountFosco I did the same thing with a pie once Took it home and immediately lost it. Looked absolutely everywhere around the living room where I'd put my bag down, even ridiculous places like under the sofas, and couldn't find it. A week later it turned up on the windowsill, behind the curtains, which I hadn't opened all week because it was midwinter and I'd been at work through the daylight hours. Luckily the fact it was winter also meant it didn't smell (although I suppose I might have found it quicker if it did!)

I'm very absent minded but not usually that bad. Having read this thread I realise there are people much worse than me though! Maggot eggs

@Horehound I gave OK the benefit of the doubt until: I once found a box of eggs, crawling with maggots, under his pillow.

Yeh @Jesusinthecabbagevan
Bit wild for MN!

Bit I struggled most with was that anyone would willingly buy rye bread, it's rank.

Hide the bread loaf/ don’t repurchase and when he asks if you have any bread just point to the one on the floor

Just say to him "pick up the bread please , I'm not going to do it. (I'd add "you are more than capable and it wouldn't kill you . " but im rude and a feminist who expects men to both pick up the bread and earn it, just like I do ;) )

Write a rude message on it with sugar water to encourage the mould.

Oh no it's going to be like the cheese touch

Yes you definitely need to put the bread (or similar bread) somewhere else. Somewhere not obvious so it could be the same piece that someone moved slightly. In fact just move it a tiny bit each day to see if they notice.

DH is physically (or mentally) incapable of being surrounded by 'stuff'.

I can cope with his mess in his garage. But an endless source of irritation is the fact that noone can EVER sit on the middle seat of the sofa next to him as he collects things there. A lot of things.

I intervene when it comes to encroaching on the other seat.

For a while, we had a large, curved sofa that in theory seated 5 but really only ever would seat 4. We have 2 kids and he STILL insisted in keeping his collection to the point that we couldn't all 4 of us sit on the same sofa - and we don't have any others anywhere else.

SO I pushed to get rid and replace with a 3 and 2 seater, so we can all sit at once.

It's clear and clean about 3 times a year - Christmas and the kids birthdays when we have family around to visit.

It doesn't last long though. And there's other collections around him on the sides too.

I'd leave, but it seems a petty reason to leave.

Is it still there? If so, be a good wife and make your husband a sandwich

I've ended the experiment early and binned the bread.

WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST TELL HIM TO PICK UP THE FUCKING BREAD???

Yes. I was shouting.

This is superb and tragic.

No... he doesn't 'not see mess'. Not unless he has some kind of sight issue. When will people stop making excuses..? Sad.

I don't think there were maggots in the bed in the house with a toddler because apparently it happened before OP got married, unless they married after they had a child.

But I still don't understand how he went ON HOLIDAY WITHOUT YOU???
and only told you the day before???
You were already committed enough to buy a super king-size bed to share but not committed enough to go on holiday together or even for him to inform you of his individual holiday plans??
Doesn't make any sense.

Btw there's such a thing as doesn't see mess. Our current house belonged to a highfalutin doctor/business owner(lived mostly by himself), he probably had a cleaner, but everywhere where a standard cleaner wouldn't clean was terrifying.
All drains blocked with fat, vegetation growing out of gutters, carpets smelled of piss 🤢, oven had so many layers of fat on its walls there was only a tiny opening left which had carbonated but mouldy remains of some dinner inside (I opened the oven door during the house viewing)
He moved out with all his stuff and the house was painted inside and out before being put on the market on the advice of the agents, apparently it smelled terrible before being cleared and painted which I'm not surprised about.
So it wasn't he didn't see mess because he expected someone else to deal with it, he just lived in relative filth and was not bothered... actually there was no adequate heating system etc, he was just extremely impractical though obviously very good at his job and aflush with money.
The reason for selling was apparently him hooking up with someone and moving on...

Just checked in for an update on The Bread only to find out it's been binned............

Farewell and RIP The Bread.🍞💔