The piece of bread on my living room floor has become a monument

[AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings]

DH is a being who operates on a higher plane than us mortals - a consequence of which is he just doesn't 'see' mess.

(He also has a very Busy and Important job so 'doesn't have time' to tidy anything either).

He dropped a huge piece of bread on the floor a few days ago. I've been monitoring it to see how long it would take before he would pick it up (yes, I could pick it up myself, but I always do it).

Today, he asked me to pass him 'that newspaper next to the bread'.

Not only is the bread not going to be picked up, it's now become some sort of landmark for us to navigate objects by.

Or a beloved family member or pet maybe?

Should I LTB (leave the bread)?

(I should add, he actually hoovered the floor this week- and just went round the bread )

LTB!

yes leave it where it is, make a little red rope barrier around the bloody thing with a small information notice of its origins and prominence within your little ecosystem.

I think ALL marriages/families have their own version of 'bread'.

DH here would have the bread inserted into one of his many cavities after these kind of shenanigans. However, we have two dogs so his slovenliness could never reach these kind of dizzy heights. Plus I'm too volatile for him to risk leaving bread on a floor for three days.

OP, you will be awarded a sainthood shortly for not maiming him with a shoe. If you feel compelled to strangle him, know that if I was the king of the World you'd get away with it, nay, be rewarded for taking care of such a knobber.

I'm only on the first page and this is the funniest thread in a long while. It's so relatable.

This just gets worse

I'm here for the photo.

This is so stupid. Nobody could be so dismissive of their spouse's "tunnel vision" or "mess blindness". This has got to be made up.

I think quite honestly by leaving the bread he is showing, underlighting and highlighting his contempt for you and your role as house servant.
A normal man would just pick it up and throw it away.
He is making a point. The point being things like rubbish on the floor is your job and is beneath him.

Put it on his pillow. See if he moves it then.

Ok I just caught up and read about the maggots under the pillow. I mean, honestly I would probably have left him after that. And I don't say that lightly.

I laughed and honestly, my DP is the same. He could drop an egg and leave it there for weeks and just constantly move around it. Drives me absolutely insane

this is my life lol.This morning i asked my other half to clean the high chair,i get down with the baby to find only the table clean.The seat still covered in mashed potato =p

I don't actually think it's a lie. He's also told me before that it's easier for me to spot mess because I'm very short and he's very tall so I'm closer to the ground

Wow...

I have tried doing this but it always annoysd me too much to leave for long.

Its mainly empty loo rolls in this house, we seem to collect them. I am the only one who actually removes them, everyone else just leaves them and it drives me crazy. I did stop doing it a while back just to see if anyone else would, and we ended up with like 10 of them n a row like little bathroom soldiers before I gave in and removed them

It seriously annoys me how, anyone else dropping something they just seem to leave it. Same for if they spill something in the kitchen. Just left, then has to be scrubbed later on! Then when am scrubbing and raging in my head 'oh, I was going to do that in a minute'..yeah sure..if I hadn't started it, then it would still have been there next fucking week.

I had a flatmate like this once. I suggest you leave him, he will never change, and I bet he still has the same scuzzy brown dressing gown?

He sounds completely and utterly stupid. Maggot ridden eggs with a toddler in the house? Oh wait, they were quail's eggs so that's ok. His surname isn't Nice But Dim is it? This had got to be a wind up.

@QuarantineDream in his defence re: the eggs - he didn't realise he did it and went on holiday. He wasn't sleeping with his head on top of a nest.

My DH will leave junk mail on the floor for weeks. I once watched him kick a pizza leaflet to one side as he went in the front door. I left it there and waited for him to pick it up... After a week I was so pissed off I binned it. He couldn't even pick up the leaflet on any of the occasions he went in or out of the door and put it in the bin. It had to be me that did it.

It's the same with loo rolls. If he needs to start a new one, he just perches it on top of the toilet roll holder. Never changes them over, just leaves the finished one on and the new one on top.

OP, I'm not surprised you eventually picked the bread up. But I'm astounded he just left it there - it's food!

DH was/is like this. He once insisted that his parents would sleep in our room when they came to stay (we have a perfectly nice spare room, which they slept in that time as well by choice) so I told him that he would have to put his clothes away and clean his side of the room thoroughly as there was no way I was going near it. This involved him finally picking up his floordrobe and sniffing each item to work out whether it was clean or dirty. It was such a large pile due to years of tidying stalemate that he gave up, put it all in a bin bag and put the bag in the loft.

2 years it stayed there. 2 YEARS. Until we finally got round to renovating and he rediscovered it, and all the much loved clothing items he'd missed in the interim. Many were unsalvageable shame.

He's got a lot better now.

I knew he'd pay for the cleaner.

Money speaks.

Disgusting pig LTB

UnaCorda

I read an almost identical story the other day (?Twitter), except it was a sock in the middle of the living room floor instead of a piece of bread and a remote control that the DH asked someone to pass him rather than a newspaper. The writer also commented that the sock had become a "landmark".

I think this is rather too similar to be a coincidence...

Wow, that is some spooky coincidence! Almost as though...no, it cant be ...

This is a completely made up thread I can't believe your all taking it seriously.

This will categorically be what makes me leave my DH. There is nothing more unattractive than laziness.

I'm sorry but I just don't believe you anymore. Nobody sleeps in a bed full of maggots without realising, nor do people name mice that they know are in their house instead of getting rid of them.

I'm extremely anal about food waste
But you leave bread to go mouldy where your toddler can eat it?

That maggot story is gross. Except I have a similar one. DH, who is unbelievably absent minded, came back from the work and put some mince he'd bought on the way home in his wardrobe. When we couldn't find it at teatime we assumed he'd left it on the bus and thought nothing of it. Until a few weeks later the smell of rotting flesh started getting stronger and stronger in the bedroom. I should point out though, he might be shockingly absent minded but he does his fair share of the housework and when I travel for work I always come back to a spotless house. So absentmindedness is no excuse.

Dh took off his suit trousers after a wedding on 17th august 2019 and put them on top of the washing machine. They stayed there until our lockdown party on 4th april 2020.

its not swings and rounadabouts is it-he phones up to switch the energy so he can be a pig round the house

ive never heard such crap-dread the time you cant afford a cleaner anymore