The piece of bread on my living room floor has become a monument

[AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings]

DH is a being who operates on a higher plane than us mortals - a consequence of which is he just doesn't 'see' mess.

(He also has a very Busy and Important job so 'doesn't have time' to tidy anything either).

He dropped a huge piece of bread on the floor a few days ago. I've been monitoring it to see how long it would take before he would pick it up (yes, I could pick it up myself, but I always do it).

Today, he asked me to pass him 'that newspaper next to the bread'.

Not only is the bread not going to be picked up, it's now become some sort of landmark for us to navigate objects by.

Or a beloved family member or pet maybe?

Should I LTB (leave the bread)?

(I should add, he actually hoovered the floor this week- and just went round the bread )

• definitely. I bloody previewed as well

I guess you use your good sense of humour to deflact from the fact your man treats you like the cleaner. You probably have a cleaner but she's not coming just now?

There was a thread ages ago about a damp bath towel left on the settee which eventually turned in to a towel elephant, amongst other things. I will see if I can find it

@UnaCorda I’m so glad you’ve said that. I was sure I’d read that story on here a week or two ago, and have just spent several fruitless minutes trying to find it, wondering if I was in some strange deja vu moment.

How is this tragic or funny? I don't get it. But my Not so D Father was like this. Considered himself extremely important as he earned all THE MONEY. I hated seeing how my mother was subjugated by him. Not saying this is you OP but I couldn't live with someone who thought themself too important to pick up something they dropped. I don't get why you didn't raise it with him straight away. I know this is considered amusing in mumsnet world but really?

Is it regular supermarket bread, or some special artisan type bread, if the latter, it does need to be put in a special place, a floor will be ok !

One of my cats brought a mouse in the house yesterday, and that mouse would have loved a nice bread banquet meal,all laid out on the floor for it. !

When you say piece of bread are we talking crumb? Chunk? Slice? Loaf!?

That is hilarious OP. Can you get some of those googly eyes and stick them on said bread?

Maybe you should rise to the occasion and not leave a sour (dough) note by the landmark bread. Be more wholegrain, put aside le pain, and bite the Cashew nut and cranberry loaf of life?

In your shoes I would get some black/yellow hazard tape and carefully tape a small, protective perimeter around said bread.

He hoovered round it!!!! Put it on his pillow

A flag

No, this bread deserves its own bunting. I suggest shades of taupe, mushroom, honey, beige and charcoal .

Or possibly a national holiday named in its honour (Sour dough Saturday, Farmhouse Bloomer Friday, Wholewheat Wednesday?)when crusts of bread will be worn pinned to the lapel until at 8 o'clock in the evening they are simultaneously plunged into the nation's toasters causing a momentary dip in the electricity supply to remind us all that although we are all as crumbs in the great loaf of life no slice of us is thicker than another.

I agree you are using humour to hide the fact that he has no respect for you or the house and hides behind the fact that he works

@WilheminaVenable

He hoovered round it!!!! Put it on his pillow

I did this with DH once, very early into our marriage. I got so fed up of picking up his crap I gathered the lot and arranged it all down his side of the bed and pillow. We're coming up for 25 years now. He learned pretty quickly I was neither his Mother or his maid.

@Babymamamama agree, I don't think this is funny/hilarious etc at all.

So did you pass him the newspaper? I'm hoping you would have said why don't you get it yourself and pick up that bread you dropped while you're there.

I'm loving this. Would like to see a framed picture of it on the floor. Pretty please.
Midwife

If the op comes back with a cheery update my heart will sink.

I feel like shaking her and saying where your self worth? This isn't funny at all.

Or maybe joking about it is easier than dealing with it.

Each to their own I guess.

One of my cats brought a mouse in the house yesterday, and that mouse would have loved a nice bread banquet meal,all laid out on the floor for it. !

As a kind of Last Supper … before he became the supper?

@Quartz2208
@ssd

I see it fairly often on Mumsnet though - the OP seeming to think it's funny or endearing when their DH can't or rather won't e.g. load the dishwasher or something as trivial. Or, bless him he never seems to remember to pick up his wet towel off the floor. But perhaps you are right and they don't actually find it funny but use it as a cover. I know I sure as hell wouldn't find it amusing.

A friend of a friend that I used to visit years ago had 4 children in less than 4 years and her house was always chaotic. On a visit to see the newest baby I noticed a banana (peeled) lying on the living room floor. On my next visit over a week later it was a bit blacker but still in the same place. I despaired over what would become of these poor children. 30 years on. Two have firsts from very good universities and are high earners. The other two have their own very successful businesses. All 4 are lovely people. Just leave the bread!

In which way is this hilarious? There's bread on the floor for a few days when there's a toddler around? What the hell kind of message are you sending your child?

If this had happened at the beginning of lockdown you'd all have been fighting for it

Another vote for putting it in his side of the bed! He will simply have to deal with it then 😁

Its 'bird poo-gate' in our house. So I feel your pain.

Cat brought a bird in at 5am, I chased the cat out, which dropped the bird. I went to dispose of the bird, bird was still alive, took off, flew around the room, shat on the wall, dropped to the floor dead. I disposed of the bird, cleaned all the feathers it had dropped off, the bits of blood off the floor. DH came down in the morning, having heard all the commotion and commented on the poo on the wall which I hadn't seen in my half-asleep, dawn light state. Didn't clean it up, just commented.

2 weeks now. I might frame it.

I don't find this funny at all. You're leaving food on the floor to go mouldy around a toddler? Absolutely disgusting and I really hope it doesn't end up in his/her mouth.