Things that make you cry with laughter years on

[WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo]

I'll go first having spent the night pissing myself laughing over an incident that happened when I was a kid.

Many moons ago I was left being babysat by my brother, I'd been hiding upstairs, found my brother's Viz stash when I heard shouting coming from downstairs.

Thinking it was a prank I ignored it.

Shouting became more insistent so eventually I went to investigate, tip toeing my way into the living room as my brother was a known and impressive prankster.

Cautiously walked into the living room only to be met by my poor brother lying prone on the floor with our idiot dog locked onto him having a merry old time. I can still see him now humping away 😂😂😂 and dbro lying there shouting 'I've broke me leg, I've broke me leg phone a fucking ambulance' whilst trying to shove off the idiot dog who probably couldn't believe his luck 😂😂😂

(( It turned out he had broke his leg and it was his own bloody fault. He'd left a plate on the floor and somehow managed to skid on it and landed on the brasses we had on the fireplace somehow )) absolute fool and to this day, about 30 years on we'll still lock eyes on occasion and he knows what's coming 😂😂😂

This is probably another "you had to be there" one but ...

A couple of years ago myself and 2 friends went to see an am-dram production of Paint your Wagon. No idea why we went, none of us were into an-dram, nor musicals in particular, and we didn't know anyone in the cast.

Anyway, the show is proceeding and it's one of those instances where it's so awful it's brilliant. Really bad fake American accents, out of tune singing, terrible dancing (I seem to remember there were orange tutus involved but I may have imagined that).

I was trying desperately not to laugh - these people had given up their time, put in a lot of effort etc, plus I knew that most of the audience must surely be friends and relatives of the cast. I was doing ok until I felt my seat shaking and I dared to glance at my friends. Both were laughing silently with tears rolling down their faces, and of course, because the seats are all linked, we could all three of us feel the vibrations from our stifled laughter. But that would have meant the whole row would have felt them too ...

Oh god, the harder we tried to stop, the more we laughed. I felt sure we were going to be pilloried. I've never been so glad to get out of anywhere and we didn't go back after the interval.

All we have to do now is say "They call the wind Mariah" and we start laughing helplessly again!

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo thank you for starting this thread, had so many laughs.

@FourTurnings

My brother used to take his ferret to the village pub on a lead. One time he let it loose on the snooker table and it disappeared down one of the pockets. Someone out 20p in the slot and the ferret came down riding on top of all the balls 😂 You might have had to be there but it was funny 🤣

That just made me howl!

One that always tickles me is a memory of a caravan holiday a few years ago. When we were packing up to leave DM went to check DS’s room to make sure he hadn’t left anything behind. It was a small room with twin beds and only a narrow gap between them. DM is not a small woman and she hadn’t factored for her mobility issues when she decided to check under the beds. The only way she could do this was to lie down flat on her stomach. The trouble is the only way she was able to get up from this position is to roll over on to her side and push herself up - but there wasn’t any room. I heard her laughing and went to see what was happening to be confronted by the sight of her trying to caterpillar backwards out of the room. It still makes me howl with laughter now as I had no idea what she was up to at the time and it was such an odd sight!

This thread in Classics had me crying: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3106919-Anyone-want-to-come-and-mourn-the-reality-vs-expectation-of-new-purchases-with-me

I was spelling out my unusual last name to a receptionist, all was fine until I inexplicably said “ O as in zebra”..

I still have a nice laugh at this 20 years later.

Thanks cowbells it was bl**dy funny!

Watching TV with my husband and a woman was making some refreshing summer drink that she put into a couple of nice glass jugs. "Oh", say I "She has jugs just like your mother's".
Then I dissolve into laughter while he looks at me like I'm a total loon. He still doesn't think it's funny, while I chuckle every time I think of it.

Aged about 13 camping with school, we were allowed to explore the woods around the campsite so went off with a couple of friends and we came to a little stream. I jumped over, friend one jumped over, friend two jumped like Mario, straight up, literally about 6 inches forwards, and straight back down. Into the stream. Friend one and I were laughing so hard at how she'd looked mid-jump that we couldn't reach out to pull her out, so friend two, slowly sinking in the mud, grabbed hold of some plants on the bank to pull herself up. Stinging nettles. By the time we got back to the campsite she was caked in mud up to her knees with nettle stings over both palms. I know it sounds mean to say we laughed the whole way back but she was laughing just as hard!

Oh I do love everyone's stories.

I was sitting at a festival with my friend, and two lads sat down opposite (we had a bench table, like in a pub) and shared a spliff with us.

Jesusfuckingchrist it was strong, and really wiped me out. I had to put my head in my friend's lap for a while just to stop the world spinning.

After a while she said to me, "Do you think you're all right now, shall we try walking?" and I said yes, but couldn't get up.

I kept saying "I can't get up!" but no one would believe me. They thought it was just a drug effect.

What they didn't know was that I was wearing a bellydancer sash with lots of big coin-sized sequins, and the sequins had slipped through the slots in the bench and twisted so that I was secured firmly to the bench.

Every time I tried to get up, and fell back again, someone would say soothingly "Just give it a minute, love, and try again." Whenever I started to explain "But you don't understand,..." they'd interrupt with "We've all been there, love, don't you worry about it," and I would get the giggles and nearly faint.

It took about nineteen million years for me to be able to explain it to them, and then it took all three of them to get under the bench and twist the sequins free to release me.

I honestly thought I was going to have to spend the rest of my life stuck to that bench.

Not a story I laugh at but when I tell it others laugh and they laugh hard (bastards)
One day I was hoovering up (I don’t Hoover very often,my partner normally does it)
I was wearing heels and a short skirt (we’d been out and just got home-I don’t normally wear heels to do the housework)
My partner walks in-oh my god love,your hoovering up!
Me-yeah-and?
Partner-do you know who you remind me of?
Me-no,who?
Partner-Freddie murcury in the ‘I want to break free’ video-with your skirt,heels and tash your a dead ringer for him!

My fella the comedian…

We were in a restaurant and my Dad bumped into someone by accident so he said sorry to them.
Except when we turned around it wasn't a person, it was some sort of gigantic toy penguin.

We were at a house party a few years back and my mate ordered us a taxi home. She was spelling out the road name and then the operator said "Is that S for Sarah?" As in the road name. My friend replied, "no, my name's Katie."

Have got in the wrong taxi before too. Conveniently someone else from my block of flats had ordered one too for the same time..I had said my name to the driver though and he said yeah, so..

DD chasing some recalcitrant jelly with a spoon, round and round her bowl without success and saying:

"Come here, you wobbly bastard!"

Makes me chuckle every time I think of it.

My ex husband had no sense of humour. The film "Dancing with wolves" was on and he asked what it was about. I said "there's this bloke and he asks the wolf if he's dancing. The wolf says are you asking? The man says I'm asking and the wolf replies then I'm dancing!"
I pissed myself laughing but ex h said in a stiff voice that if I didn't know I should just say so. That made me laugh even harder, the sort of snort laughing, tears streaming type of thing.
Whenever we see that film advertised on tv now, me and second dh just snigger. That's why I married him!

I’m in a church choir and in the rehearsal for Evensong one week we were running through the psalm, which was 132, which begins, "Lord, remember David and all his trouble." Unfortunately, our organist was called David, and the director of music turned to him and called out, "David, how is your trouble?" Faintly amusing, but later in the psalm there is a line about making the horn of David flourish. If the DoM hadn’t mentioned David's trouble, I would have kept a straight face, but I accidentally caught the eye of one of the other singers and we lost it. Completely. That was it for the rest of the rehearsal. And then we had to do the service 😂 I still laugh whenever I hear the start of that psalm!

I was 13/14 and walking home from school with two friends. There were road works going on at the time (roadmen were finished for the day) and my friend found a hard hat, stop and go sign, and a high vis jacket. She put it all on and went into the middle of the road and started re directing the traffic, to make things worse the cars were actually taking her directions..... you could clearly see it was a young school girl who was clearly in uniform with two cackling school girls on the pavement in absolute hysterics.
To make things worse I actually pissed myself.

Yes it’s incredibly dangerous and silly. But it’s one of those memories I look back at and still really laugh..

Oh, another one which still kills me.

Again, around 14 years old and I was inM&S with my friend and her mum. And there was a male mannequin on a very open aisle wearing some boxers, we found a pack of socks and put it down the front. We then sat on the ‘show’ sofa opposite and watched many shoppers walk past in absolutely hysterics and pointing it out. It was insane at how many people noticed.

I’m laughing typing this. Very childish I know, however still kills me!

@LibbyL92 both your stories have made me laugh very hard 🤣

Years ago when High School musical was popular, I was shopping with DM in Boots. She said that she had to go and get some passport photos taken so I left her to it and carried on browsing. She caught up with me later to show me her pics. I'm not sure if she selected it by mistake or it defaulted, but instead of 4 small passport photos of her, she had printed 1 large picture of her serious passport photo face, surrounded by a High School musical frame of leaping dancers, singers with microphones etc. I wish I kept that photo, it makes me giggle every time I think of it