Things that make you cry with laughter years on

[WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo]

I'll go first having spent the night pissing myself laughing over an incident that happened when I was a kid.

Many moons ago I was left being babysat by my brother, I'd been hiding upstairs, found my brother's Viz stash when I heard shouting coming from downstairs.

Thinking it was a prank I ignored it.

Shouting became more insistent so eventually I went to investigate, tip toeing my way into the living room as my brother was a known and impressive prankster.

Cautiously walked into the living room only to be met by my poor brother lying prone on the floor with our idiot dog locked onto him having a merry old time. I can still see him now humping away 😂😂😂 and dbro lying there shouting 'I've broke me leg, I've broke me leg phone a fucking ambulance' whilst trying to shove off the idiot dog who probably couldn't believe his luck 😂😂😂

(( It turned out he had broke his leg and it was his own bloody fault. He'd left a plate on the floor and somehow managed to skid on it and landed on the brasses we had on the fireplace somehow )) absolute fool and to this day, about 30 years on we'll still lock eyes on occasion and he knows what's coming 😂😂😂

@ExJasper, I read that in my FiL’s broad Yorkshire accent, brilliant !!

@amusedbush
That is so funny, my DM used to have almost the same rant (word for word)at the end of every summer holiday we went on, usually in the car going home! maybe there was a parenting handbook with it in?
the pigeon incident never happened to her but if it had, we wouldnt have dared laugh!

[quote BikeRunSki]@ExJasper, I read that in my FiL’s broad Yorkshire accent, brilliant !![/quote]
@BikeRunSki I think it's the accent that makes it isn't it?! I also have a vivid image of the grandparents lying side by side in the dark, blankets pulled up to chins, waiting patiently for peace to descend!

We were going to spain when DS had just turned one. We had checked in the pushchair as hold luggage so were carrying him. When we got to the bag scanner where they check for valuables we both had to take belts off, empty pockets etc and sat DS in one of the plastic trays you put your bags in, while we were doing that. The airport staff thought it was hilarious and the women all wanted to hold him instead of him sitting him in the tray to wait. As we passed him to one of the airport staff his nappy leaked and he did a wee on them!

Just after my partner began staying over at mine I was still in the phase where I wanted to be mostly dignified. We were in bed chatting and showing each other YouTube videos and I rolled away from him mostly onto my side to stretch. It was one of those really big, involuntary pandiculation type stretches. He reached over and poked me in the bum, which made me go 'NARF!' in the manner of Pinky and the Brain. I was mostly indignant at first as he almost wet himself laughing, until he composed himself enough to do an impression of me. Any attempts at sex after that failed spectacularly as one of us would go 'NARF!' again and we'd both be shaking with laughter and couldn't breathe. I'm giggling now just thinking about it.

[quote Macaronirabbit]@amusedbush
That is so funny, my DM used to have almost the same rant (word for word)at the end of every summer holiday we went on, usually in the car going home! maybe there was a parenting handbook with it in?
the pigeon incident never happened to her but if it had, we wouldnt have dared laugh![/quote]
None of us could look at each other for fear of laughing.

Thankfully she can laugh about it now! She had no patience for our shenanigans back then and frequently threatened to leave us at home

One of the things that makes me laugh most was something that I didn't even witness first hand. My DM said she was hoovering and kept hearing an odd thud. She went to the front door and looked at the little diamond shaped window on it, and saw the cat outside jump up and bounce off the window. It turns out the cat thought the window was an opening and was repeatedly trying to jump through it, which is funny, but for me what makes it even funnier is that my DM's first thought was that the cat was being attacked by another cat and was desperately trying to get back in.

My brother used to take his ferret to the village pub on a lead. One time he let it loose on the snooker table and it disappeared down one of the pockets. Someone out 20p in the slot and the ferret came down riding on top of all the balls 😂
You might have had to be there but it was funny 🤣

@Kenshi

One of the things that makes me laugh most was something that I didn't even witness first hand. My DM said she was hoovering and kept hearing an odd thud. She went to the front door and looked at the little diamond shaped window on it, and saw the cat outside jump up and bounce off the window. It turns out the cat thought the window was an opening and was repeatedly trying to jump through it, which is funny, but for me what makes it even funnier is that my DM's first thought was that the cat was being attacked by another cat and was desperately trying to get back in.

This has just reminded me of another funny thing!

A few years ago my dad had to go to my granny’s to block up a hole in her roof because local cats kept sneaking in and had started some sort of feline fight club

My dad told me very seriously that she was at her wit’s end with the noise but I couldn’t stop laughing

I used to be a teaching assistant in a secondary school, god help me. The boys I was working with had chosen to do GCSE geography in year 10. First week of term, geography teacher gets them to look at a printed blank atlas and fill in the countries. One of the lads wasn't the brightest, bless him, but I could feel the hysterics rising as I pointed to country after country and he got them all wrong, culminating in pointing to Australia and asking "Where's this?".... "Spain?" comes the answer, at which point my other lad burst out laughing too and we hid behind a book crying and red faced for the rest of the lesson. Not normally one to belittle the efforts of students but Jesus wept it was funny!

At uni, I did a year abroad in France and my parents came to visit. There was a carnival in town with an old-fashioned carousel featuring gaily painted wooden farmyard animals. I shouted with glee, "Oh! I can't wait to ride on that giant cock!" and then could not breathe for laughing, made so much worse by the fact that my dad was a very Victorian headmaster type who didn't find this in the least bit amusing.

I'm quite sure you had to be there, but I was sat in the pub with a friend and commented that I liked the jumper that the girl stood (with her back to us) at the bar was wearing.

Friend replied to question how I could know it was nice when I couldn't see the front. 'For all you know it could have Zig & Zag (of The Big Breakfast fame) sewn on'.

The absolute random suggestion, ensuing tension as we waited for the girl to turn round, and hysterical disappointment / relief when she did not in fact have psychedelic 90s puppets stitched on to on the front of her jumper can still make me chuckle 10 years on.

Another time : At work we'd been invited to a do with 'one glass of champagne on arrival' and my quite proper boss in her 60s joked that she wouldn't get out of bed for one glass of champagne. With absolute killer timing another colleague (that had known her since they were both in their 20s) strolled past, absolutely deadpan, with 'ooh you've changed, I remember the time you'd get into bed for less' and just kept walking, as the rest of the office collapsed on the floor in mock horror.

I absolutely love those times of complete silliness, when tears stream down your face and you can't compose yourself. I've got a few friends (and a DP) that can reduce me to a giggling snorting mess with not much more than a look. I only wish I could remember more of the instances to relive.

My uncle took DS to the men’s toilets for me during a day out at a packed attraction. DS was about 3 or 4 and asked why I couldn’t take him into the boys toilet. My uncle said something along the lines of “girls don’t come in here so they don’t see our willies”. DS replied loudly that it was fine for me to go in then, Mum has seen loaaaaads of willies He was a terrible fiddler and I often said to put it away, I’ve seen them before and I don’t need to see it now 😂

You had to be there but as a sixth former a friend and I were on a school trip to France, we were sitting in a cafe on the ferry, we hadn't slept for what seemed like days, had too much espresso and chocolate cookies and were generally quite hyped up. A tannoy announcement was made "will all round passengers report to such and such a place" at which point a very 'round' gentleman got up from his seat and left. As he walked past our table we both just looked at each other an immediately knew we were both thinking the same. I honestly dont think we stopped laughing on the coach all the way from Dover to the North East.

Also, this isn't years on because I do it every couple of weeks, but I get huge childish enjoyment out of using my Alexa app to switch the lights off in whichever room DP is in. I used to try and pretend I was innocent and perhaps the bulb had gone, but we live in a small flat and he can hear me sniggering away like Mutley from wherever I am.

I didn't know him very well at the time, but my now best friend & I arranged to do a site visit together, which involved walking through some not very well signposted woodland. We were talking a lot, not really paying attention, and realised we'd got completely lost. Both said 'we should be going in that direction' and set off back to where we though the car park was, only to find our way blocked by a massive fallen tree. I said 'oh we can't get past that, let's find another path.' Bastard took two light steps up to it, put both hands on the trunk, and vaulted over it like an Olympic gymnast. I wouldn't be surprised if he even did a final flourish at the end.

I am very short. So I had to put both arms up over the trunk, like a toddler clutching at a parents thigh, lift one foot onto the top of the trunk, and then try and heft myself up. I made a lot of grunting noises, swore under my breath quite a lot, and scraped both knees and elbows. It took at least two minutes. I somehow managed to get to the point where I was on top of the fallen tree, but face down, and then gravity took hold. I rolled - in perfect slow motion - off the tree, and landed on my arse in a muddy puddle on the other side.

Being a gentleman, he pretended he was blissfully unaware of my undignified ascent/descent, and I totally styled it out by saying briskly 'Off to the left now, I think?' I just get the giggles every time I think of me lying face down on a dead tree and then s l o w l y rolling off and not being able to do anything to stop myself from landing on my arse.

@Alcemeg

At uni, I did a year abroad in France and my parents came to visit. There was a carnival in town with an old-fashioned carousel featuring gaily painted wooden farmyard animals. I shouted with glee, "Oh! I can't wait to ride on that giant cock!" and then could not breathe for laughing, made so much worse by the fact that my dad was a very Victorian headmaster type who didn't find this in the least bit amusing.

I meant to say, this came out without me realising what I'd said (I was trying to be all jolly-Enid-Blyton-wholesome-day-out), then I was just in hysterics with the horror of it really.

Another one was, I used to work at a company that had (for that time) a very advanced Board Room with a giant screen for teleconferences, which were then quite a newfangled thing. In the absence of our usual manager one week, my friend had to chair a very formal meeting with some US-based clients. He introduced everyone from our side in turn, working his way round the table, and when he got to me (sitting right next to him), he just froze up with panic, went bright red and just started mouthing like a fish -- "And this is... And this is..." In his terror, he'd completely forgotten my name! We'd been best mates for years! I started to vibrate with silent laughter and we only just managed to hold it together for that meeting.

@Hellocatshome You reminded me of being the one who had to walk of shame through the airport! A colleague and I (with a +30 year age gap, him older) coincidentally have the same surname. We were on a business trip together. Sat at the crowded yet silent departure gates when they tannoy 'Mr & Mrs StealthMode' to go to the information desk. We had to walk through about 200 people all trying to puzzle out exactly which of us was benefitting from this presumed marriage of convenience

Would probably have been worse if we weren't already accustomed to the enquiring looks of hotel reception staff as we check into our separate rooms, but I charge all my expenses to his credit card

One where you definitely had to be there...
In the car after a day out, possibly a bit overtired. We were playing some sort of game to keep DC (then 8) amused. DC went to say something and sneezed halfway through, which was quite funny, and then I decided that it had sounded like a goose being put through a mangle. Except my razor-sharp wit amused me so much I couldn't speak and just sat shaking with silent laughter whilst tears ran down my face. This annoyed both DH and DC who kept saying, "What? What is it?"
Took me about 10 minutes to regain enough composure to speak, and when I finally told them what was so hilarious, they just went, "Oh, was that it?" which set me off again for ages.

I do remember being at a couple of shows where I got into a similar state of hysterics. Once watching Bill Bailey and he sang the love song which features a snowflake on the eyelash of a deer. We'd gone with my SIL, her kids and BIL. My nephew, who was about 14 at the time just rolled his eyes at me. I thought I was going to die of laughter as there was a point when I genuinely coul not draw breath. Thankfully this song was quite near an interval and it took me the whole 15 minutes to stop laughing.

The other time was at a Ross Noble gig. Someone put a banknote on the stage in the interval, and this somehow ended up with Ross reading out the code that identifies that specific note. For some reason him hollering out "AA427.." (or whatever it was) sent me j to absolute fits.

Generally people don't like going to comedy shows with me. Apparently I am embarrassing.

A few years ago watching a TV quiz show with my Mum (I think it was The Chase) and one of the questions was 'What is the capital of the Ukraine'. She earnestly shouts out "Nugget" to which I replied "I think you mean Kiev mum". I still haven't let her live it down!

We had a moment last night right after I finished reading this thread.

An advert came on the tv for something, and I said “oh that’s Clare Goose” whereupon DH turned to me with a look of absolute shock and said “GOOSE?!?!” I just creased and couldn’t stop laughing. I don’t know what he thought I was talking about, but the look on his face coupled with the loud GOOSE just cracked me up.

I suspect you kind of had to be there though

The thread on here about someone shouting then farting or something 🙈really made me laugh

When I was about 12 and in Florida on a big family holiday, my very posh grandmother was knocked over by a wave in the wave pool at typhoon lagoon, she is a very busty lady but only ever wore strapless swimming costumes. She stood up with one giant tit out didn’t notice and had a full conversation with other family members who also didn’t notice while I couldn’t breath for laughing, I remember trying so hard to interrupt them and tell her but couldn’t move or speak for laughing

We were due to have a garden hut delivered and built and I was due to pay them when the hut was up.

The day before the hut was due I was pregnant and went for an afternoon nap. I heard some building work but it was a new development..I just thought it was usual site noise and went back to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later to an invoice through the door. I called them and told them I wasnt due to pay it till it was built ..and could they tell me what time they would be there the next day..

The guy is killing himself laughing .. what's so sodding funny?? Have you checked if you have your shed ..just a little early..

Flaming great shed at the top of the drive. for months family and friends kept saying noticed your shed on my way in

Day out in the car with husband driving, we got lost, he decided to blame me, I argued back and then as if by magic a bird crapped on his shoulder through the sun roof, whilst travelling at speed.

It was like the hand of God saying you were right.
He was wrong.

I still laugh at that one.