Things that make you cry with laughter years on

[WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo]

I'll go first having spent the night pissing myself laughing over an incident that happened when I was a kid.

Many moons ago I was left being babysat by my brother, I'd been hiding upstairs, found my brother's Viz stash when I heard shouting coming from downstairs.

Thinking it was a prank I ignored it.

Shouting became more insistent so eventually I went to investigate, tip toeing my way into the living room as my brother was a known and impressive prankster.

Cautiously walked into the living room only to be met by my poor brother lying prone on the floor with our idiot dog locked onto him having a merry old time. I can still see him now humping away 😂😂😂 and dbro lying there shouting 'I've broke me leg, I've broke me leg phone a fucking ambulance' whilst trying to shove off the idiot dog who probably couldn't believe his luck 😂😂😂

(( It turned out he had broke his leg and it was his own bloody fault. He'd left a plate on the floor and somehow managed to skid on it and landed on the brasses we had on the fireplace somehow )) absolute fool and to this day, about 30 years on we'll still lock eyes on occasion and he knows what's coming 😂😂😂

This is amazing 🤣
Mine is a memory of my mother when I was about 15 on holiday with older DS and 4 year old cousin in tow for a day trip in Geneve. We got a bus and on arriving at our destination so DS, me and cousin got of the back door and mum went to the front to say thanks to the driver but he mis heard and shut the door so she ran to the back to get off and got there just as the doors shut so she ran back to the front and asked to get off so he opened the back back door and she had to run back again... it was winter and she was wearing a very long elf like hat which flew out behind her with every run back and forth. To this day I burst out laughing thinking about my tiny cousin shouting “JUST GET OFF THE BUS... WHY WON’T SHE GET OFF!?”

Have loads but one that sticks in mind.. my friend and I on holiday lying on sunbeds. Around midday she says 'ok, time to put my hat on and protect the sun from my face' cue me falling off sunbed laughing so hard..couldn't stop picturing the sun shielding itself with its hands saying 'fuck me, protect me from that women's face!'. After 3 hours of laughing myself silly on and off (have a laugh I just can't stop once I start, used to get kicked out of classroom at primary school!) I could tell she was getting pissed off.. but I still couldn't stop so had to pretend my book was fecking hilarious lol to stop her falling out with me 🤣

@ThePug

5 years ago when we were doing antenatal classes, the lights had been turned off and we were all sat in the dark with husbands behind us massaging our shoulders and pretending we’re in labour. Class leader (who was very earth-mother and softly spoken) then started saying about getting things ready to take to the car and comes out with “You’ve got your ball, bag...” Cue DH & I snorting and trying to stifle laughs in the dead silent room. We were like naughty schoolchildren giggling the rest of the class and when we walked home we could finally laugh out loud about it and I had to keep stopping so I didn’t wet myself We still laugh about taking a Ballbag with us places now

Oh my gosh, I was just saying to DS this morning whilst I read him a book lying on his giant bean bag, that it isn't beans inside the bag, but little white balls, so should really be called a ball bag. I then couldn't stop laughing and he kept asking "mummy are you ok?"

I can't remember if I've said this before but do you remember the party game where you made a kind of dome out of flour (using a bowl and the sandcastle method) and then put a glacé cherry on the top. Everyone had to take a turn 'slicing' the flour and making the dome smaller and smaller and not letting the cherry drop. If the cherry dropped, you had to use your teeth to pick it up. Well, the birthday girl on this occasion let the cherry drop and as she went in to pick it up with her teeth, about 8/9 girls' hands went in and shoved her face in the flour. I still laugh now about her head coming up, face completely white with flour and the glacé cherry smeared across her cheek. Her look of astonishment nearly made me wet myself.

I had read a story on Mumsnet where a woman was saying she had long labia and found it difficult to ride a bike due to chaffing.
Me and dh were walking the dogs that evening and I was recalling this story to dh ( as you do ! ) but rather than me saying this woman had trouble with large labia and chaffing, dh misheard and thought I said she had trouble with large labia getting caught in the chain and looked horrified. We both were hysterical, and still laugh about it now.
Another incident from over 20 years ago still makes me laugh. I was at some kind of small training meeting and we were sat in a semi circle around a very senior Nursing officer who was talking. A young male Nurse was listening intently and leaning forwards on his chair on two legs when he suddenly fell forward literally into the lap of this very senior quite posh woman. His face was literally in her lap. I got the giggles like never before and still cannot think about the incident twenty years later without being hysterical.

Mine is from about 12 years ago when dd was in y4 and someone in their wisdom decided to give the whole year group violins for 6 weeks then invite parents to an assembly to hear their little cherubs perform.

It happened to be the morning after a group of us had been on a Christmas night out. It was only the usual suspects ie about 6 mums who always turned up for these events, most of us had been out and were all hung over.

Firstly they decided because they all needed space for their instruments to seat us on the stage with the kids on the floor of the hall. One mum came in late and couldn't find the steps so had to hoist herself onto the stage.

Then during the head's welcome speech another mum's mobile alarm went off and she couldn't turn it off. She kept snoozing it instead. In the end she had to take the battery out and sit on the phone.

Then the music started. We were already sniggering but the cat strangling and the music teacher's serious and enthusiastic conducting got us all snorting and suppressing giggles.

Towards the end the music teacher said "now children. Put your fingers on the G string!"

I'm surprised we were ever allowed back!

At an international cardiac conference, attended by many eminent surgeons and cardiologists.
In the lecture hall and the guest presenter was going through his powerpoint presentation , you could have heard a pin drop.
Our consultant surgeon coughed very forcefully and simultaneously farted, I was crying laughing. I had to leave the lecture in the end because everytime I looked up and saw him I got a fit of the giggles all over again

My maths teacher, in Y8, many years ago, saying 'now we need to pot some plants' rather than saying 'now we need to plot some points' [on a graph]. I guess you had to be there. But I got sent out of the classroom eventually because I was just in stitches.

I was away about 25 years ago with 3 friends. We were out one night and got chatting to a group of lads. I could hear one of my mates asking this guy where he was from (we are Irish) and he said that they were Scottish. My friend looks at him surprised and says "you don't sound Scottish, you know who you sound like - Sean Connery" in the same breath, at which point we all disowned her

Oh another one. Years ago we were in Paris and had to use the self contained toilets pods that were plonked in the street. I went in and,bizarrely, it played music when you were in it. Then my mum went in and after a couple of seconds the door opened again and there was my mum sitting on the loo while Owner Of A Lonely Heart by Yes blared out. Her face was an absolute picture.

Me and my friends were on a girls holiday and we’re on our hotel room balcony. A couple in the room perpendicular to us shouted over to say they were locked on their balcony and could we help. My friend said ‘I’ve got this’ and sprinted off. We assumed she was going to reception to get their door unlocked, but instead came back about a minute later with a giant packet of crisps and threw it across to the couple and then sat back down and asked what else we should do to help. Oh god it sets me off in stitches every time.😂😂

This thread should go to classics. 😂😂😂😂

At the zoo years ago with my much younger brother. He was about 4. We were standing in a viewing pavilion thing with some other families watching the rhino and it started to do a poo. DB cried out really loudly “I can see its poo hole!” We ended ourselves laughing.

In an airport at 7am and we were dying for a coffee after being up since 4am. My generally literate friend then pointed out to a cafe and loudly announced “let’s go to “so-hock-a-fee”. It was actually a Soho Coffee. I still can’t pass one without laughing 5 years later

My mate at uni has never lived the following story down.

We were at the student union bar having a few drinks during some special event. As we wandered out of the bar & into the main hall we saw they'd set up a mechanical bull, one of those ones surrounded by an inflatable bouncy crash mat thing. So in his drunken wisdom he decided that he was going to go on this bull & show everyone how it was done.
I just had time to grab his drink in my spare hand as he shoved it at me & shot over to the bull & the girls who were standing nearby. He kicked his shoes off, made a big production of walking up to the bull, putting his hands on the back & gracefully vaulting onto the thing. Except......he misjudged the angle the bull stopped at & also the amount of lift he'd get off the bouncy crash mats. So instead of gracefully vaulting ONTO the bull.......he flew OVER it & fell on his arse on the other side.
I. Lost. My. Shit. I had tears streaming down my face as I laughed; I even had to very carefully sit on the floor with both drinks because I was either going to drop them or fall over.
I've never let him forget it.

A teacher we hated was the laziest man alive. Moved desks in the classroom into a U shape with us all sitting around the outside so that he could stay sat in his wheely computer chair, hold the handles and push along with his feet round the inside of the U when anyone needed help 🙄 used to kick off his desk to wheel to the light switch when we were watching something for a media study or whatever, and kick off the door to get back to the desk from the light switch 🙄

Put the light off one day, kicked off from the door to wheel back to his desk and THUD...all we can see behind his desk are his feet in the air 🤣😅 cue everyone laughing etc.
A couple of days later when back in the class someone asked for help...so as usual, teacher kicks along the ground to move his chair round the U to the students desk, it’s only then that I notice that the whole chair is squint and missing an arm - clearly a result of the fall, and he’s struggling still trying to scoot along as normal 🤣

Not funny in the slightest but, you know how it goes...silent room and you shouldn’t be laughing so naturally it becomes the funniest thing in the world. I laugh cried so hard that when the teacher asked me what was so funny, I snorted when I opened my mouth to try and speak through my hysterics 🤣🤣🤣🙈 managed to get out “the arms gone” and the whole class then notice and start 🙈 I was banned from his classroom for a month for “unnecessary hysteria” 🤣🤣🤣

Still kills me everytime I think about his trying to scoot the chair along 😅

@UnicornPug

Me and a friend took our then five year olds to the theatre to see the Tiger who came to tea. Bought them both a tiger on a stick that they could wave about. We nipped to the loo before it started and my friends daughter was taking AGES. Friend took the tiger on the stick and danced it about over the top of the toilet door saying (in her best tiger voice) “come on! Hurry up! There’s other people out here who want to go to the loo”

Her daughter then came out of the cubicle next door. We just looked at each other and ran. I’m helpless just writing this....

I laughed so much at this! 🤣

This whole thread has made me cry and do that weird, wheezy Mutley laugh.

When my daughter was little I’d sometimes bath her in the kitchen sink for convenience. She was also prone to chest infections and I’d been advised to give her pure apple juice to drink everyday. As it was always in the fridge my husband had also become partial drinking apple juice as well. My husband also has a really annoying habit of grabbing hold of any drink I have sitting around and taking a swig of it. It really bugs me.

One evening I was bathing my daughter in the sink, she was just about 2 and she said she needed to wee. I was heavily pregnant with twins and our bathroom was getting renovated so instead of taking her out of the sink I got her to stand up and she to pee in a disposable cup. I set it on the worktop/ drainer and continued to bath my daughter.

My husband came in the back door. He was talking about something and as he walked past us he lifted the cup and before I could say a word downed it. He didn’t even realise it was was wee. I’ll never forget the look on my daughters little face. I was in hysterics laughing and she just sat in the bath staring at him completely horrified looking. By the stage my husband had realised there was something going on and was going “What is it, what is it?” I couldn’t talk for laughing. Still horrified my little girl just said “Daddy drinks wee” . He realised what was going on and started to nearly boke and was sticking his head under the tap while throwing a tantrum saying “ what the f**k sort of a lunatic are you?” Still makes me and the kids laugh and it still makes him cross seven years later.

As PP have said there is something about being in a situation where you really shouldn't be laughing that makes things like this even funnier. I was in a very somber work meeting that had been going on for hours. It was not going well and the mood in the room was tense. One of the directors (his name was Bob) got up to make himself a drink. He asked if anyone else wanted one. The young chap opposite me said "Can I have a tea please Bob?" He caught my eye across the table and we'd obviously both grown up watching the TV quiz show Blockbusters cos "Can I have a T please Bob?" just made us both do that silent shaking laughing. The director did have a look of Bob Holness! No one else noticed they were all still frowning through the meeting and we had to suppress our snorts and giggles for another hour.

We went for a picnic in a very busy park. We were unpacking bog standard sandwiches but the people next to us had an amazing picnic. Little pots of shrimps, canapés, glasses of bubbly. My cousin arrived and grabbed my DH around the waist and lifted him, legs spread in the air. The shock and pressure caused my DH to give the loudest, longest fart directed at their picnic. Without a word, they packed up their food in their neat little tubs and left. My DH said sorry but they ignored him completely.

Years ago when I was younger I worked in a bank. I was in the huge safe with a colleague called Mark. I had just treated myself to a new fragrance which I thought was lovely, so I said to him “Mark, would you like to smell my Charlie?”. He looked aghast and said “Err, no thanks I’d rather not”. Still makes me chuckle.

This happened in the early 80's and still makes me and my sister crack up.

Walking down a road in town, ex-bil about 20 yards in front of us. Coming towards us on the other side of the road is a dog and for some reason the dog is watching my ex-bil and vice versa. As they get to the same point on the road they both jump in the air. Totally freaked each other out.
My sister and I were hysterical.
Even now I can't stop laughing while typing.

Dh dozed off on the sofa while we were watching a film and he must have had his right arm under him. He woke up and tried to scratch his nose to find his right arm completely dead. Instead of just maybe using his left hand he proceeded to grab his right wrist with his left hand and lift his arm so he could use his dead right hand to scratch his nose. I'm not even sure it was that funny but every so often it pops into my head and makes me laugh hysterically

@Acaley1

This is amazing 🤣 Mine is a memory of my mother when I was about 15 on holiday with older DS and 4 year old cousin in tow for a day trip in Geneve. We got a bus and on arriving at our destination so DS, me and cousin got of the back door and mum went to the front to say thanks to the driver but he mis heard and shut the door so she ran to the back to get off and got there just as the doors shut so she ran back to the front and asked to get off so he opened the back back door and she had to run back again... it was winter and she was wearing a very long elf like hat which flew out behind her with every run back and forth. To this day I burst out laughing thinking about my tiny cousin shouting “JUST GET OFF THE BUS... WHY WON’T SHE GET OFF!?”

This really tickled me!

This thread is brilliant! Now that I am retired I do miss the many laughs I had at work.My modest contribution (not work related). Many years ago my mother and I were visiting my sister. She lived a few streets away from my mother. It was Halloween and just starting to get dark as we walked to my sister’s flat. My sister lived in a very leafy street and obviously being Autumn there were piles of leaves everywhere. My mother suddenly stumbled through some leaves, saying ‘Oh dear’! but carried on walking a few steps. I looked down to see that she had a hollowed out turnip Halloween lantern stuck on her foot.Like a turnip shoe! It was stuck fast and the fact that we were laughing so much it took us ages to get it off. My mother is nearly 90 now and we still laugh about the turnip shoe.