Malteaser cake recipe - help a Catholic out

[Lunawuna]

Help on an Ecumenical matter please So I've been dipping into the world of traybakes - I can make a pretty respectable caramel square (nice, thick, chewy caramel!) and Mars bar crispy square, but I need a good recipe for Malteaser cake.

I tried the BBC Good Food recipe the other day and it didn't have that lovely feeling of your pupils dilating with the sweetness of it all like a good traybake normally has. Am I doomed to never get it right because of my lack of Prod blood? Help! How can getting the right ratio of digestive biscuits, butter, syrup and chocolate be so hard?!

I'm normally a good baker! Honest!

Oh ffs, why have I started low carbing again!

Weeps.

Truffle squares look amazing.

Catholic here with what I thought was an irrational hatred of traybakes. It's obviously something more deep rooted and only MN has shown me why.
Urgh!

@Peonyonpoint Audrey! I haven't seen you since the Ladies Supper when Beryl fainted over the pavlova.

How is Cyril? How are the boys? Engaged yet?

As an NI exile, this thread is class!

bellini now, reach out across the barricades! Surely a nice fifteen would be acceptable!

Beatrix, Cyril's just finishing his accountancy exams (of course he is) with a view to taking over Mervyn's business (you know, the one that makes a certain kind of roof ridge tile that has made us inexplicably wealthy in a solid, unassuming way apart from our mahoosive shiny cars). We'll be up at the caravan in Portrush all the more now, scouting out nice presbyterian lads and lasses for our Linda and Samuel.

@Lunawuna

Caramel shortbread recipe looks tempting.......

May I ask what size tin you use?

Thanks!

I just needed this this morning! (Not the links to the amazing tray bakes, I haven’t had breakfast yet).

I’m a Catholic though, so, doomed.

Surely a caramel square is the only acceptable Catholic traybake....? 😂😂

I made Fifteens off the back of that thread last year. They went down a treat at work (I only bake for work because I'm the only bugger who likes cake in my house).

It’s a slippery slope all right @Luckystar1, one minute you’re furtively making traybakes, next thing you know youlll be drinking Ribena for communion

Nigella Lawson does a fab Malteser cake.

So good to hear the young ones are doing well though our Roy says your Samuel is in the Northern Whig every Friday night buying visiting blond English girls very dear cocktails so good luck with that, but there we go we all have our burdens

Our Pamela is engaged to a very nice man, you might have heard, a dentist from Ballymena. I must go here, Nigel said he'd take the mission bus in for a service, and I have to iron his second best chinos before he goes.

Ribena for communion! Well I never! We don’t even get to drink the wine ffs.

Well in fairness I’d have to go to mass occasionally to sample any of the delights of mass time snacking (or holy communion as it’s normally known!)

Roof ridge tiles

I had a piece of malteser tiffin at a village Christmas fair year before last. Then I had to find put who made it and ask them for the recipe. It is very rich, luscious and makes masses. Could be cut down to make it more manageable. I use very cheap chocolate to try and keep the cost manageable. I add glace cherries to the mix cos all tiffins need glace cherries. It is a rule.
www.janespatisserie.com/2017/08/21/malteser-tiffin/
The original maker from the village fair gave me some for last Christmas🙂

Ribena for communion is absolute decadence. It's all about the Mi Wadi when it's on offer

A DENTIST!

Samuel tells me he is out a prayer group every Friday night and then doing street ministry picking up the poor drunk wains and getting them home. I 100% believe that's what he's doing all right.

I used to make malteser cake all the time but haven’t made it for years. I have no idea where my recipe is, and now I really want to make it.

thought that would shut you up with your caravan in Portrush when we had to sell the one in Millisle

That's very good of Samuel. Very good work he's doing amongst the floozies, sorry, Godless sinners in need of hope.

Whoever mentioned OP should convert is obviously wrong. Soup is a lunch course, not a dessert. HTH

Loved this thread - as a NI exile also - the left foot variety. Even though I now live in England - the prod names are a stand out! 😂

I can make excellent Soda Farls, Caramel squares and a fair attempt at Fifteens but I'll leave the maltesers cake to the prod professionals.

@TheRattleBag I use a 20cm square tin but the caramel is very thick (good thing the tin has high sides).

What size of can of condensed milk? The usual size? Do they come in more than one size? I’ve only seen wee tins of evaporated milk.

These Malteaser cakes look far more promising! What was I thinking trying the bbc recipe, it only wanted 125g of biscuits 😱 I’ll have to raid the shops for more chocolate and Malteasers and try again. No wonder we didn’t have this growing up, it’s bloody expensive!

Ooh, in the interest of cross-community relations, how do you make your soda farls? I can make a good loaf and a scone but not a farl.

Am coeliac and can confirm I have had EXCELLENT results making potato farls with instant mash. They are SO easy and delish.

In fact their deliciousness has contributed to the current low carb regime.

Try ten Hail Mary Berrys before you break the first egg.

What is with the religion and traybakes? Here it's Victoria sandwiches and cheese scones (England) though one lady does make excellent tiffin

Who has ribena for communion? It's port all the way here in the c of e!