Malteaser cake recipe - help a Catholic out

[Lunawuna]

Help on an Ecumenical matter please So I've been dipping into the world of traybakes - I can make a pretty respectable caramel square (nice, thick, chewy caramel!) and Mars bar crispy square, but I need a good recipe for Malteaser cake.

I tried the BBC Good Food recipe the other day and it didn't have that lovely feeling of your pupils dilating with the sweetness of it all like a good traybake normally has. Am I doomed to never get it right because of my lack of Prod blood? Help! How can getting the right ratio of digestive biscuits, butter, syrup and chocolate be so hard?!

I'm normally a good baker! Honest!

It looks like it's be worth it though Bosco

BIG EXCITEMENT...local coi is having a virtual cake sale. All cakes are to be delivered to the big house, to be portioned into boxes. Register online, and pick up a random box from the rectory,by appointment. Money in an envelope in a box.
No cup of milky tea but better than nothing. I really need more cake! Currently we have a carrot cake to work through.

Big excitement indeed Eggandonion.
I have hit a bit of a brick wall atm.
Call it cabin fever, so I need a bit of excitement to get me going.

My malteser squares were nice, but for some reason the chocolate all seemed to settle in a layer on the bottom. I used Milka chocolate and it seemed a bit more oily, maybe that’s why.

I’ve got all my ingredients for a carrot cake so trying that next.

Have told DS he can have a go at the Brides slices for his dad for Fathers’ Day.
It’s hard to buy for a man who has everything

Is it ok to pray for a good cake selection?

@eggandonion virtual cake sale you say? do you think they would expand into posting the cakes?

They might, but I am currently in the black hole of ebay, paypal and a missing parcel. Imagine if your cakes were lost in the post!
I hate online shopping, about half of the city shops near me are closed now. I go to a Quaker owned cafe, they do amazing cakes and scones.

Our postie attempts to deliver everything through the letterbox so I wouldn’t trust them to arrive in one piece.

I have my carrot cake in the oven as we speak.

Being CoI myself, I would love a nosey at the competition .
Although our congregation are mostly elderly now so don’t do as much baking as they used to.

There are two excellent bakers,, but they are getting on a bit. The rest are average.

We got our box of buns which had a good selection of traybakes and cakes. Some were better than others. I am not a fan of the oversized bun, a fairy cake is not a wannabe cupcake. I'd give them five out of ten, Munster baking isn't a patch on Ulster.
Stick that in your Ada, Darina, Rachel etc. (Although I go to a cafe run by a minor Allen about twice a year, very good coffee cake, but pineapple in the carrot cake).

What a let down Eggandonion.
Show them how it’s done

I made a lovely carrot cake last week, maybe a bit heavy handed with the walnuts, but it was polished off in 2 days, so I’m assuming it was a success.

I wonder if the fad of home baking will stay popular when all the restrictions are lifted?
Maybe Slimming world and Weight Watchers will be inundated with lots of new members!

All the people on these boards who would starve rather than eat home baking,and bin a cake rather than rush for a knife to dig in, make me nervous about making things for outsiders.

Reminds me of sayings from my childhood:
Clean meat never fattened a pig, and when a sweetie was dropped on the ground, it was picked up saying *One, two, three God lick it and put in your mouth, maybe a bit controversial these days.

Apologies Egg, not suggesting your baking wouldn’t be acceptable, just that your post jogged my memory of old sayings

We use the five second rule when we drop things. If I was baking for someone else I'd probably be more careful. Probably.
I think most baking kills germs anyway.

Bumping thread: I live in Sweden and Malteasers aren’t that common, but today I found big bags in a shop and now own 400 grammes of them, all ready for my first ever traybake Being half ROI they’re not part of my culture at all - and it has to be said that the Swedish half scoffs at everything that isn’t “real” baking (ovens and the like must be involved).

I'm hoping to be in the north in August, and have told dh that garden centres are good for stretching the legs,tea, nice clean toilets in the cafe, left out the tray bakes. The Swedes may scoff, but they will love a wee bit of something nice.

@banavini wonderful to hear traybakes are making a debut in Sweden. The Swedes won't know what's hit them!

Well I’m sort of social distancing so I have no Swedes to give cake to 😒 so I just might have to eat it all myself you know. Needs must. If it’s brilliant it might end up making a return and being sold at my catholic church’s Christmas market though Already bracing myself for my Polish husband’s moaning about it being “too sweet”. A bloody nation that lot.

My dh complains that cake is very sugary. He's not a true Ulsterman.

He might be Polish ;) awful healthy lot they are altogether.

I don't remember cake being available when I was in Poland, I had a nice mushroom in pastry thing and I don't like mushrooms much.

Oh they do have loads of cakes but many aren’t as sweet as what the NI Protestants seem to offer. Yeasted buns, that sort of thing. I love Polish cheesecake (sernik) makowiec (poppy seed cake) and above all pączki (doughnuts). God they’re great. I love almost anything deep fried in fairness. They tend to use a lot of buttercream for example in layered cakes (where a swede would use cream, jam or mousse fillings) and an unusual thing is sesame flavoured stuff (halva in the ME, hałwa in poland).

Swedish baking is great, but having grown up here I am culturally biased of course. Swedish cakes are often very pillowy and soft and super with creamy moussy fillings. There are scores of recipes for cakes made in the deep roasting tray that comes with the oven (don’t know the word), very easy and feeds many. Obv we are great at buns, kanelbullar and Rimbobullar being my faves. Swedes do a great line in little biscuits too, due to a tradition of women always serving seven types of cake - first one was a bun, then five different little sweet biscuits, then a tårta ie filled cake.

What Swedish people can’t make:
Fruitcake (tasteless shite)
Scones (🙄 nuff said)
Pies/tarts (they make a crumble thing and call it pie it’s so fucking tragic and even more tragic is that it’s the only thing my family wants the little ingrates)
Gingerbread (the soft kind, we do a very decent line in snaps)

Malteaser traybake big hit. I had to modify it with posher chocolate the second time though. It turned out quite a crumbly mix, a bit hard to press out. Is this common? Wondering if our syrup is sort of wrong for it.