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Our life is falling apart

210 replies

WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 13:09

Me and my partner have been together 9 years. We have 2 children age 3 and 5. We had a perfectly normal relationship, we argue, we make up, were generally happy in our relationship. He doesn't like my sister, he never has done I don't know why but really hates her.

About 2 weeks ago he started doing some extra work for somebody who asked if he could sell car parts and dismantle some cars he's brought damaged. (He is a mechanic.) Of course he can sell car parts we have an eBay account where we sell our own things and he's a mechanic he can take parts off with his eyes closed. However this was not what was going on, the man who he was doing this for was running a chop shop and he was actually stealing the cars and getting my partner to take them apart.

Police were called last Tuesday, my partner got arrested. The police came to my house and said it was now a crime scene i wasnt allowed to stay at home. My sister found out because she lives close by where he was caught so obviously saw all of the police and came straight to my house to make sure I was ok and if I needed anything etc... just being a good sister and good auntie to our kids. My partner got let our Wednesday pending further investigation, now he wasn't remotely interested in the effect on me or the kids... he was more interested in why I had gone running to my sister about what had happened even though I didn't! We had a big row and he just wouldn't listen at all to anything I had to say. He went to his moms early hours of Thursday and I haven't seen him since. His mom says that she hasnt seen him, so me being worried about him reported him missing last night. The police came out to speak to me and phoned his mom whilst they were here... who told them he's perfectly fine but doesnt want to see me at all and stop contacting her!! I am absolutely fuming angry raging all of the above because nobody has thought about how this has made me feel. I'm so worried about what's going to happen and him hiding away isn't helping how I'm feeling. Does nobody think I have a right to know what has happened? Am I just over reacting? My emotions are very much all over the place at the monent.

Long thread I'm sorry, it's probably confusing but please just read it a few times and if you have any advice on what I should do please get in contact. Please no unhelpful advice or judgemental words.

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 06/05/2020 11:44

Thinking of you this afternoon

SS want what is best for kids and they will see clearly that there are no issues in your house. It will be fine

WhoCaresAnyway95 · 06/05/2020 14:44

It went really well, the lady that came was so lovely and supportive. She's put my name down for the freedom programme once things are back to normal and also given me her personal phone number incase I need any additional support. Huge weight off my shoulders right now

OP posts:
justilou1 · 06/05/2020 14:57

She might be able to assist you when looking for affordable housing too

HannaYeah · 06/05/2020 14:58

So glad you have this support!
Flowers

viewfromthecouch · 06/05/2020 15:05

I'm very glad the meeting went well and they are offering support.

You're doing great.

MrsPerfect12 · 06/05/2020 15:19

I missed this when you first posted. So sorry you're going through all this. I'm glad SS visit went well and I hope she can help you out with the housing aspect. Good luck.

Ginkypig · 06/05/2020 15:27

I'm glad it went well, social workers have a bad reputation and like all professions there are bad eggs! but they can be a huge resource of support especially in these types of circumstances.

Have you thought about asking if they can help with your housing situation, you mentioned being worried that private rental would be difficult (possibly even impossible) now you are on your own with the children and they could be of help with either social housing referral or getting you access to support or grants or low cost loans to help with deposits etc.

Mrsjayy · 06/05/2020 15:39

Bet you are so relieved it went better than you expected Social workers do have that negative tag.

Mulhollandmagoo · 06/05/2020 17:06

I'm really pleased this afternoon went well, lean on your social worker, often they get a bit of a bad name but they can really help with Signposting to agencies that will be able to give you support long term

picklemewalnuts · 07/05/2020 10:22

I'm really glad you've got some support there, that will be so reassuring for you, and someone you can ask questions when they crop up.

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