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Original poster

Our life is falling apart

210 replies

WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 13:09

Me and my partner have been together 9 years. We have 2 children age 3 and 5. We had a perfectly normal relationship, we argue, we make up, were generally happy in our relationship. He doesn't like my sister, he never has done I don't know why but really hates her.

About 2 weeks ago he started doing some extra work for somebody who asked if he could sell car parts and dismantle some cars he's brought damaged. (He is a mechanic.) Of course he can sell car parts we have an eBay account where we sell our own things and he's a mechanic he can take parts off with his eyes closed. However this was not what was going on, the man who he was doing this for was running a chop shop and he was actually stealing the cars and getting my partner to take them apart.

Police were called last Tuesday, my partner got arrested. The police came to my house and said it was now a crime scene i wasnt allowed to stay at home. My sister found out because she lives close by where he was caught so obviously saw all of the police and came straight to my house to make sure I was ok and if I needed anything etc... just being a good sister and good auntie to our kids. My partner got let our Wednesday pending further investigation, now he wasn't remotely interested in the effect on me or the kids... he was more interested in why I had gone running to my sister about what had happened even though I didn't! We had a big row and he just wouldn't listen at all to anything I had to say. He went to his moms early hours of Thursday and I haven't seen him since. His mom says that she hasnt seen him, so me being worried about him reported him missing last night. The police came out to speak to me and phoned his mom whilst they were here... who told them he's perfectly fine but doesnt want to see me at all and stop contacting her!! I am absolutely fuming angry raging all of the above because nobody has thought about how this has made me feel. I'm so worried about what's going to happen and him hiding away isn't helping how I'm feeling. Does nobody think I have a right to know what has happened? Am I just over reacting? My emotions are very much all over the place at the monent.

Long thread I'm sorry, it's probably confusing but please just read it a few times and if you have any advice on what I should do please get in contact. Please no unhelpful advice or judgemental words.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 20:48

Why one earth would he knock on my door and ask for a stupid fucking parcel. He is a cock you have that right 😂

OP posts:
Mulhollandmagoo · 04/05/2020 20:55

He sounds like a prize idiot OP!!! All that's gone on and all he cares about is his parcel? Please tell me he at least asked how the kids were??

Refuse any parcels! That way he won't be able to prove he's at the address hes claiming to be at as part of his bail conditions, I hope you've spoken with your local police about that, and about your accounts being used Flowers

HannaYeah · 04/05/2020 21:19

Has he been in legal trouble in the past?

Original poster
WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 21:20

Of course he didn't ask about the kids, he didn't ask anything except has his parcel come. Then he was messing in his van, my phone died and when I looked out of the window he was gone the absolute cunt.

No he hasn't ever been in trouble for anything like this before

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 21:22

I actually replied saying no your parcel isn't here now leave and don't come back. He wasn't remotely interested in engaging in a conversation at all just said where is my parcel. Absolute cunt he is

OP posts:
brentwoodbaby · 04/05/2020 21:27

Hi OP, you've had some great practical advice. Please lean on your sister. She sounds great and it was clear to me from the first paragraph of your post that she's had him worked out for a longtime; that's why he 'doesn't like her'.

It's easy to see past very obvious faults when you love someone. Thanks

Alyic · 04/05/2020 21:29

Something similar happened to my brother years ago, one of our friends got a new boyfriend a Cypriot, brother was a mechanic and did a few favours for this boyfriend and got arrested.

It all got sorted within a week or so, boyfriend got deported and brother was given advice by police not to be so gullible in future.

Original poster
WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 21:36

I wish this would all be sorted and done in a week but it doesn't look like it's going to be sorted any time soon unless he gets a NFA. Personally I think it will go to court and he will get a jail sentence

OP posts:
WhatDay · 04/05/2020 21:38

That’s a relief (other than paying for it obviously!).

I can’t believe he just rocked up like that asking for a package. I am intrigued what’s in the package.

TheGrandHighWitch · 04/05/2020 21:39

Given his actions and behaviour since this happened, I would be suspicious that there is something incriminating in that parcel that he doesn't want you (or the police) knowing about or getting your/their hands on.

TheGrandHighWitch · 04/05/2020 21:40

Cross post with WhatDay.

Original poster
WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 21:44

I think it's something for a customer's car, that is the only parcel as far as I know he was waiting for but it could well be something incriminating but yes the cheek of it bothering me about a parcel not his children 🤔 very odd

OP posts:
WhatDay · 04/05/2020 21:46

In a way, you well and truly know where you stand with him.
It is shit.
Did he leave his van?

whatdoyoudonow · 04/05/2020 21:46

I reckon your sister has him sussed and he doesn't like that.

This.

End it for one of these reasons :

He knew full well what he was doing and is dodgy as F*k

He didn't know what was going on because he is thick as two short planks.

WhatDay · 04/05/2020 21:48

His lack of care for you and your kids during this lockdown just makes him more of a cock.
No, do you need anything?
Is everyone ok?
Are the kids ok after the police raided our home?

None of that. Just treating you like bloody postman pat.

Original poster
WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 21:49

Yes he left the van, I can't understand his way of thinking at all, he just rocked up out of the blue asking for a parcel, looked in his van, then off he went, maybe he took something out of the van I didn't see

OP posts:
HannaYeah · 04/05/2020 21:58

It’s very strange that he’d suddenly abandon you and the kids after getting in this type of trouble. Usually a change in behavior like this that means drugs, gambling debts or some other major secret.

I think most people would be supportive of their spouse if this happened and spouse was honest with them. I certainly wouldnt suggest separately going to the police if he were there at home with you instead of having disappeared and cutting contact. Instead he’s treating you like the enemy which makes him seem even more suspicious.

WhatDay · 04/05/2020 22:01

Yes I think this is going to unravel further.

So he’s obviously coming back then, if he’s leaving his van there. I think put all his stuff in it if you’ve a key. Potentially use that nursery offer if you need to, if you need the kids out the way

ChillOutChick · 04/05/2020 22:07

Typical defensive reaction from someone who has been caught and hasn't yet thought of how he is going to blag his way out of it. If he was innocent in this he would be speaking to you about it rather than freezing you out.

The sister thing is just an excuse to shut you out.

KeepWashingThoseHands · 04/05/2020 22:09

So sorry OP Thanks

WTAF kind of behaviour is this!?!! Channel your anger and kick this tosser to the curb.

Onwards to a better life for you and your children. Wine

What a total dick. Do not let him back, the only way is forwards now.

browzingss · 04/05/2020 22:47

Yes, it’s so nasty how he’s turned on you and completely shut you out. You’ve done nothing wrong.

FortunesFave · 04/05/2020 22:49

I bet he's seeing someone else and is viewing this crisis as the perfect time to make a break and end things. I'm so sorry OP....his behaviour isn't right at all.

Original poster
WhoCaresAnyway95 · 04/05/2020 22:52

Update... I have text the thing he calls mom and said your sons things are boxed up ready to collect along with his van at a later date. Her reply simply reads I ain't passing nothing on

Fucking bitch she is 😂

OP posts:
Ipadipod · 04/05/2020 22:55

That must be a very important parcel for him to break cover to come and collect it- if it does arrive, I’d be inclined to keep it in case it’s evidence of some sort.

Andi2020 · 04/05/2020 23:03

OP have you asked your sister why they don't like each other. Have they history what has she on him that makes him not like her.

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