Badly explain your job

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

Because I think we all need a laugh at the moment! Inspired by a Twitter hashtag, explain your job (or an old one) and guess what other posters’ jobs were.

I use dangerous chemicals and fire around children.

@YesPleaseMary

I don't know what the job role would be called, but you're an engineer who does electricity stuff, messing round with telegraph wires etc?

I help naughty people try not to be so naughty

I cure cancer and possibly cause it at the same time

I will make sure you get away with it if you poison your boss's tea

fascinated management consultant?

I ask people what they do and then tell them they do it wrong.

I touch peoples ears until they're satisfied

7 - close. About as hated!

Some of these are brilliant (but scary! Lol)

I ensure that Franz and Bob can talk, even if Franz has no idea what Bob is waffling on about and Bob has no idea what Franz is waffling on about.

I stick things up bums and often get peed on!

I tell massive convoluted lies and deliberately upset people.

I help rich people buy big houses.

I saw the best one of these a few years ago. A minister posted:
“I’ve married multiple men and I know where all the bodies are buried” 😂

@BlueGheko

Vet!

@MacavityTheDentistsCat

Interpreter! Skidding wildly from the thread, I saw this video the other day that blew my mind!

@Shoegal0305 paramedic?!

Close, vet nurse!

Am so intrigued by some of these especially Sicario

Macavity translator?

I speak to people, write stories about them and then after many rejections publish those stories

I go to people's homes to help them look after children.

Err. I light up celebrities.

Pass heavy(ish) paper objects to naughty men.

Yes, BlueGhecko I'm a translator (specifically German to English for legal documents).

I also very occasionally interpret Pickles89 (but only where a very general overview is required of what is being said and never in a formal setting such as a court).

People come and see me so they can blow into tubes, and other come and see me because their other halves are complaining they snore too much

I sort crap, thank people for giving me absolute rubbish that I know will go straight to the tip and try to motivate a team of people that are unpaid and under valued.

pmsl @Undomesticgodde55