Badly explain your job

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

Because I think we all need a laugh at the moment! Inspired by a Twitter hashtag, explain your job (or an old one) and guess what other posters’ jobs were.

I use dangerous chemicals and fire around children.

Tenlittlecygnets

You're a sub editor !??!

I count children twice a day. I bombard their parents with emails which mostly they forget I sent and they call me up to ask stuff. Sometimes I'm rude to them but only when they deserve it

Yes I'm a vet.
I'm so bad at guessing these, I need more clues.
Who is the country's snitch? Somebody in charge of the reporting of a load of CCTV footage?

Since I am on furlough, like a lot of people I spent much of today doing for a hobby what some people do for a job. It can be done for functional purposes without which humans could not survive, or purely decorative purposes. I did both today.

@BlueGheko vet?

I crack bones

@tenlittlecygnets proof reader?

I call people who don’t want to hear from me

@Cairoprankster chiropractor! Did your first “crack” freak you out?

I speak in tongues and am irrationally please when my minions respond in kind.

I play with Lego and try to convince short people to do what I want. I'm not always successful.

I try and force people to live longer especially poor people

tee hospital play worker?

user school admin?

I mainly spray bitrex at people, lately.

I sell white powder to people. And acid too.

@Rebelwithallthecause

You're a quantity surveyor, aren't you??

I tell doctors how to do drugs safely and effectively without spending too much

@Ncg123 correct. It was an odd career choice for me as I used to be squeamish when someone cracked their knuckles. It’s oddly satisfying now.

@PeepeeDarling
I made it too simples. I always do but parents refuse to just read stuff

@MaudesMum correct

Old Job - Spent the day resisting the temptation to tell clients to read the manual. Occasionally had to tell them to turn it off and on again.

Current Job - Want to go back to the old job for a rest.

@oralengineer yup.
@pickles89 yes but I never ever ever ever go anywhere near electricity lines!!

I'm paid to stab children.

I call people with knives dicks behind their backs

I'm paid to stab children.

Bombaybunty - I hope you're a nurse who does vaccinations xx