Badly explain your job

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

Because I think we all need a laugh at the moment! Inspired by a Twitter hashtag, explain your job (or an old one) and guess what other posters’ jobs were.

I use dangerous chemicals and fire around children.

@Bluesheep8. Close 🙂 Police Despatcher

I seduce foreign (mainly) men so that they do everything I want, whilst avoiding their attempts to get me drunk.

@Greenandcabbagelooking.

Sorry no! Although I would have some transferable skills to take up a new career!

Another clue - most of my colleagues probably think my job is to make their jobs harder BUT really if everyone else did their own jobs right in the first place my job wouldn't need to exist!

@fodderbeet good guess! But no, I'm a copywriter. I spent a lot of time rescuing badly written business websites and I do a lot of networking! 😀

@Wauden no my clients are similar in a way! 😆

I shoot people, families, children, babies.

In the garden drinking tea
1:1 sen ta?

Cherry cream
Photographer? I really hope you are anyway lol

I argue. And sometimes tell people they're lying.

I move collect variably sized particles in material with different humidity coefficients and distribute them to blind ended and open ended receptacles.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam -
I aak people how much pain their in and fuck about on computers all day
midwife?

@fascinated - no but in other countries people doing my job are.

villainousbroodmare

I spend my days organizing the optimal timing of (ideally) a single annual shag for my darlings. It's important that my sleeves are closely fitted yet can be rolled to my shoulder

Stud farm of equine vet?

I write machine instructions for moving items around.

@PenguindreamsofDraco

Lawyer?

@jmh740 yep! 😂

@Pickles89 yep! And judge.

DH. 'I get people to explain to me what they do so that I can make them obsolete'.

Data Protection Officer

I read other people’s case files and colour bits out (electronically). I used to do the colouring by hand but I was crap at that!

I wipe bums and noses, and play with sand.

@PenguindreamsofDraco

Wow, a judge?! That's so cool!

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

@SamsMumsCateracts

I really hope you wash your hands inbetween!

Nursery nurse?

@Pickles89 yep, it's a glamorous job. I also get peed on and sicked on fairly regularly!

I give people jobs and sometimes take them away.
I fight workplace crime - specialising in bullies.