Replace your pets name with "my drunk friend"....

[floatygoat]

And tell us what they're doing right now?

My drunk friend is in the garden shouting at the neighbours over the fence.

My (borrowed) drunk friend is humping my stuffed penguin.

3 others drunk friends are asleep in the living room. Drunk friend 3 seems to think drunk friend 1 is a chew toy, so this is an improvement.

Drunk friend 4 is in uproar over DH’s choice of tv programme.

I am self isolating with

My drunk friend is staring at me through the conservatory windows while I'm trying to get some work done.

My drunk friend has just leapt out from under the sofa to attack my leg!

I really wanted a drunk friend to rest in my lap while I tickled her tummy not stalk me!

I just gave my drunk friend a bath as he was getting a bit smelly. He’s now gone really hyper, he’s running around the house and rubbing his ears on the rug

One of my drunk friends (I've 5 drunks in this house) is absolutely beside herself ugly-crying at the end of the sofa because DH and I and the rest of the drunks are up here, and she's the only one not up. However, when we offer her a spot, it's never a "good enough" spot, so she cries some more. Totally irrational.

My drunk friend is crying upstairs because I won't let her rub her hair all over my bed

My drunk friend can smell dinner cooking and is hovering around the kitchen

My drunk friend ate my glitter glue, and now it looks like I've got a unicorn shitting in my back yard

@shellder I would love to be that excited about something....

My drunk friend is wiggling her bum while sniffing my trainer.

@anyoldname76 haha!!

My drunk friend did a poo in the bath at 4am then woke me up to go out as she was so ashamed.

@ilovecakeandwine at least she had the decency to be ashamed!!

I could do this all night ...
My drunk friend attacked my hand to get my attention so can go out as my NDN drunk friend was in my garden and my drunk friend simply had to go and tell NDN drunk friend to leave immediately.

After my drunk friend's tumble into the pond earlier today, he went for a long walk in the woods with DH. He came home covered in twigs which he has spent the evening removing from his person and leaving a trail of them all over the floor. Which I'd just hoovered

My neighbour's drunk friend has stayed out all night and is now having noisy sex or a fight in the middle of the street outside our house and telling the whole street about it.

My drunk friend has been perfecting his Hitler impersonation

My drunk friend keeps farting right next to me and couldn't give a shit

My drunk friend is in a tetchy mood because she's just about to shed her skin. My other drunk friend is lying in a cave slowly digesting a rat that he swallowed whole yesterday.

My drunk "friend" startled me to wakefulness this morning by running up and down my body repeatedly and smashing my poor boobs, shouting at the top of his lungs, then ultimately coming to rest atop my head. Still bloody grumpy after that.

My drunk friend was having a very bad hair day. After a vigorous brushing, she is now asleep next to me on the sofa.

My drunk friend is asleep in the dog bed in my office

My other two drunk friends are asleep in the sofa with my daughter

One drunk friend is passed out on the floor, and another drunk friend is vigorously licking his face and ear.