DH wants to take a job that pays 25% of his current one

[ElderAve]

Yes, one quarter of what he's currently earning.

ATM he has a very well paid, demanding job and a long (expensive) commute. Leaves the house at 5:30am and gets home c. 6pm. He's had some struggles with his boss of late, with increasing demands and conflicting priorities. He's mid 50s and starting to feel his age, the early starts are taking their toll.

DC are both working FT. I have a well paid job after a period of PT work while dc were young and the mortgage is paid off. In the last couple of years things have become very comfortable financially and we've been enjoying some luxuries that would have previously been out of reach.

The plan, until recently, was to build up some savings to supplement our pensions and retire in 5 years' time. So, we can afford it with some tweaks to our "luxury" spending but it probably puts retirement plans back.

The proposed new job would be very close to home and only 30 hours per week, term time only. I work in school so we would both have the long holidays. He'd also be really good at the job he wants to do, working with troubled young people.

Part of me loves the idea of a gentler lifestyle but there'd be no going back once it's done, he's not likely to get another job like the one he has at his age, if he changes his mind and I was looking forward to retiring nice and early (I'm a bit younger). I'm also concerned that whilst the work might be more rewarding there can be a high emotional toll which is not something he has experienced before.

Would you support this idea or be trying to find a way to make the current job work for a bit longer?

If you can afford the drop (allowing for reduced commuting costs) yes definitely. It sounds like a win win

I’d support it and be happy for him if it’s a job he feels really positive about. I’ve recently switched from a management role to a role with much less stress. The effect on my emotional well-being and knock on positive effect for my family is huge. It sounds like you can afford it financially.

I’d definitely encourage. You get a lot of time off anyway - all the school holidays. He would too. You could both work longer under this new, and much gentler for him, arrangement. And enjoying all those weeks together anyway.

I really pity the poor buggers commuting long distances day in day out, from about aged 50 onwards. I’m mid 50’s and work in an undemanding full time job but would find a long commute a killer.

I have worked with youths like this, very draining and poor pay. Was exhausting in a different way. I wouldn't leave high paying role just stick it out for another few years and retire

Sounds absolutely perfect to me!

His commute sounds awful - he must be absolutely exhausted

I would fully support it. Dh did something similar. Life is too short to be in a job you hate if you can afford not to be.

Yeah I’d go for it sounds good to me.
Long commutes are a killer.

The idea of dropping the salary and hours seems a good one, but it sounds as if he hasn’t understood the emotional toll of his new job. As someone who has retired from the commercial world to health/social care I would say this is something he definitely needs to consider very carefully. Has he volunteered in his new role, or had any experience with troubled teens?

I'd go for it. With both having longer holidays then you may not feel the need to retire early as you'll have more leisure time to spend together now rather then in five years time.
Sounds like he's had enough of the big bucks job and I don't blame him

Absolutely go for it. He's put the hours in to raise the kids and now he wants to step back a bit. (You never know what tomorrow brings so enjoy your time now).

Has he worked with "troubled young people" before? It's demanding and stressful, depending on the organisation often poorly supported. Other services (statutory and third sector) are cut to the bone so it's frustrating and often impossible to resource the additional support they need. Oh...and often contracts for the work that his organisation are providing stop. I would ask whose funding the organisation and how long the funder had contracted for. Most likely a 3-4 yr tender max. Also has he volunteered in the sector? He might not find it any less stressful?

Ok.....I misread slightly so for example he's going from 100k to 25k. That's a massive drop. Do you both really understand what that means. Do you have a spare room you can rent out if it gets too tough? Leaving one job doesn't mean he can't ever go back. Plenty of people start doing consultancy or poject roles. But ultimately if you can afford it then he should if he wants to.

I would encourage it - life's too short to carry on with that kind of commute and pressure if he's unhappy.

'God laughs when you make plans' I'm not religious btw but I think this phrase sums up life quite well. You don't know whats around the corner. If his current job is taking its toll then I think he should change it asap.
Most people I know that have taken early retirement still work albeit part time. My friend works in Sainsbury's and still manages to get away almost spontaneously.
He may not get the job anyway. I'd encourage him. I speak as someone with absolutely no pension who really will have to work until they drop!
Your mortgage is paid off. This is huge! I consider myself as someone who still has a fancy lifestyle. I go abroad twice a year just in less luxurious style. I drive an older car. I shop for clothes in cheaper shops. Its perfectly doable to enjoy life on less money

Hard to give up the early retirement dream I'm sure but it sounds like he understandably wants to wind down a bit as he heads towards retirement. His current job sounds very full on and possibly not sustainable for much longer from what you say? Yes the luxuries might have to be limited and you might have to retire later than you'd like but the upside is a better work/life balance for your DH. Plus you'll get more free time together if you're both term-time only.

I would imagine there would be many people after the job who have experience in this field. Surely a risk to give the job to a person with no experience who is used to the cut and thrust of senior management. Rather than patience and care for disadvantaged. But he can try.

He's been volunteering with teens for a few years - one of the reasons for his early start, so that he can get back in time for the volunteer role.

He particularly enjoys helping the difficult and disadvantaged ones but I don't think the ones that come through his volunteer organisation have the same level of trauma as the one he would come across in the job.

I agree that he needs to consider the emotional aspect of the job. I have always worked in Health and Social care and it's an amazing job that is definitely rewarding, bit it can be tough.

However if he has thought it through and understands this, I am a big believer in doing a job that makes you happy rather than one that makes you miserable and exhausted.

DH has run his own business for 30+ years, and I now work there too full time. Over the last 3 years or so, our workload has trebled, we're struggling to find the staff we need (it's very niche) and his stress levels are horrendous. He's 55, and recently been diagnosed with a heart condition that he's waiting to see a cardiologist about.

If he could give up work tomorrow, I'd support him wholeheartedly. Stress is so bad for us long term. I'd rather have a healthy happy DH than a tired stressed ticking time bomb of a DH anyday. The money is irrelevant.

It's tricky because he may find the new job more stressful than he expects. Low pay doesn't necessarily mean low stress!

Is there any kind of compromise here? Eg could he take a month's unpaid leave from work and volunteer in the new job to make sure it's really what he wants?

Life’s to short support him

We’ve both changed jobs and taken massive pay cuts over the years. Our philosophy is rather be happy and poor then stressed and rich.

I think he should do what makes him happy.

I'd support it. Mid 50s he's done an exhausting commute for long enough, it seems like a good time to slow down the pace. I made a similarly costly career move (new job paid 35% of old one) although I'm in my 30s and there were medical factors involved too. However I'm really enjoying working with people in a more meaningful role. My DH was fully supportive and we worked around the loss in income.

25% of what? 25% of 100k and he will get another job if he changes his mind in a couple of years maybe not 100 but near as damn. My dh recently took a small pay cut at this sort of age. His wasn’t a choice. But he much prefers the job. The hours your dh is doing is now unsustainable. He’s telling you he can’t wait 5 years.

Have you put the earnings into a calculator that works out the tax etc? The drop will be big but not as big as it might seem, especially taking off the commuting costs.

It might delay your retirement a little but it does sound goo for both of you, more time together and a smoother ride to retiring rather than the sudden stop from long hours (inc commute) to nothing which isn't always great for mental health.

If your children are adults there is always the possibility that one of bother of you could get a second job to top up your income outside of school hours, there are all sorts of schemes that need staff.