DH wants to take a job that pays 25% of his current one

[ElderAve]

Yes, one quarter of what he's currently earning.

ATM he has a very well paid, demanding job and a long (expensive) commute. Leaves the house at 5:30am and gets home c. 6pm. He's had some struggles with his boss of late, with increasing demands and conflicting priorities. He's mid 50s and starting to feel his age, the early starts are taking their toll.

DC are both working FT. I have a well paid job after a period of PT work while dc were young and the mortgage is paid off. In the last couple of years things have become very comfortable financially and we've been enjoying some luxuries that would have previously been out of reach.

The plan, until recently, was to build up some savings to supplement our pensions and retire in 5 years' time. So, we can afford it with some tweaks to our "luxury" spending but it probably puts retirement plans back.

The proposed new job would be very close to home and only 30 hours per week, term time only. I work in school so we would both have the long holidays. He'd also be really good at the job he wants to do, working with troubled young people.

Part of me loves the idea of a gentler lifestyle but there'd be no going back once it's done, he's not likely to get another job like the one he has at his age, if he changes his mind and I was looking forward to retiring nice and early (I'm a bit younger). I'm also concerned that whilst the work might be more rewarding there can be a high emotional toll which is not something he has experienced before.

Would you support this idea or be trying to find a way to make the current job work for a bit longer?

@damnthatanxiety do I even know what it takes to run a household?? Fucking patronising much? What, do you think I live in a tent or something?

Yes dear, I just about troubled my tiny little brain to run my household and raise my family, but unfortunately I don’t have a HIGH EARNING SUPER IMPORTANT HUSBAND so obviously I couldn’t possibly hope to know the STRUGGLES.

We just had to manage on two minimum wage jobs, topped up with tax credits, working opposite shifts because we couldn’t afford childcare, and still managing to do all the stuff you did (because who the hell do you think does it) so don’t tell me I don’t know what it takes to run a fucking household.

Well this is an eye opener. Any thread I've ever been on where a woman wants to drop down to part time, or give up work to stay at home because working and running a household is getting too stressful, and the dh doesn't want them too, they are told they are selfish and they can't just take a cut in wages or stop earing if their dh isn't happy about it.

I would absolutely support your husband with this. My husband did similar in his late 50's and was so much happier. I would rather have a happy husband that the extra money

Personally I'd suggesting volunteering in the role if possible to make sure he's suited for it. You can't really tell how it will affect you until you're in it, by then, like you say, it's too late to go back

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion, that’s usually in the context of a mortgage to be paid and dependent children, neither of which apply here.

Its a massive paycut, also his identity may be more linked to his job than he realises.
In lower paid roles you often have less autonomy or flexibility.
Working with troubled teens is extremely worthwhile but also emotionally draining. He may also find he doesn't necessarily have job security, depending on contracts and how the organisation is funded.
However not having a mortgage and no dependent DC is a significant benefit, I'd look very carefully at the figures and make sure as well as paying the bills and having savings for emergencies you can afford a few treats otherwise life can become a bit joyless.
Ultimately its his decision, personally if its not unbearable and his health is good I would hang on for 5 years, retire with financial security then increase his volunteering once retired.
You could explore other options too such as reducing working hours or working from home, if feasible.
However, if current work situation is unbearable and its realistically affordable then I'd support him and hope he hasn't got his rose tinted glasses on

I'd encourage him to go for the new job. My husband pre-retirement had trouble with his manager to the extent that he had to put in a formal complaint re bullying .. he was utterly miserable and near to a breakdown, and a new man when he left. You don't want your husband to be in that position, especially when he's got the offer of a job he feels he'd enjoy more.

My Dad kept putting off going PT and my Mum died weeks before he was due to start. If you can afford it, do it. Time is far more precious than money.

gingersausage well done for completely missing the point. Perhaps if you could learn to function better with the massive chip on your shoulder, you would be able to communicate without resorting to vile language.

His choice not yours, money is not everything, lifes too short to work long hours in a job he hates when your comfortable. id encourage him to leave but firstly id sit down together and go over finances so you can work out where you can cut back on spending and you both are fully aware exactly how this will affect your life style.
you will adapt to less spending and find things that dont cost as much to do together/apart/as a family.