DH wants to take a job that pays 25% of his current one

[ElderAve]

Yes, one quarter of what he's currently earning.

ATM he has a very well paid, demanding job and a long (expensive) commute. Leaves the house at 5:30am and gets home c. 6pm. He's had some struggles with his boss of late, with increasing demands and conflicting priorities. He's mid 50s and starting to feel his age, the early starts are taking their toll.

DC are both working FT. I have a well paid job after a period of PT work while dc were young and the mortgage is paid off. In the last couple of years things have become very comfortable financially and we've been enjoying some luxuries that would have previously been out of reach.

The plan, until recently, was to build up some savings to supplement our pensions and retire in 5 years' time. So, we can afford it with some tweaks to our "luxury" spending but it probably puts retirement plans back.

The proposed new job would be very close to home and only 30 hours per week, term time only. I work in school so we would both have the long holidays. He'd also be really good at the job he wants to do, working with troubled young people.

Part of me loves the idea of a gentler lifestyle but there'd be no going back once it's done, he's not likely to get another job like the one he has at his age, if he changes his mind and I was looking forward to retiring nice and early (I'm a bit younger). I'm also concerned that whilst the work might be more rewarding there can be a high emotional toll which is not something he has experienced before.

Would you support this idea or be trying to find a way to make the current job work for a bit longer?

Could he reduce his hours to four days a week and volunteer with the other organisation on the other day? Because that's a massive salary drop and day in day out working with troubled young people can be exhausting too with little spare cash for the fun things in life And it may say thirty hours on the contract but I do wonder if it would be that in actuality. My contract says twenty five hours a week but in reality I work about fifty a week. (Currently putting off getting up as I have admin and planning to do which will take at least all morning...)

Is it that the gross salary for the new job is a quarter of the gross salary for the existing one? As if that is the case, he will be paying a smaller proportion of tax overall and reduced commuting costs. There may be other savings too - parking, any socialising that comes with the existing job, cost of that type of clothes etc.

What I mean is that you may be a lot better off financially than you think.

I am always envious of people with short commutes to work and the knock on effect of that eg getting home in time for a family dinner and then having the rest of the evening together after everything is cleaned and tidied up.

I can see both sides of this. stepping down from a stressful job you hate into something with less commute, fewer hours, less stress and a paypacket that is still enough to live on - totally makes sense and I'd be supportive.

Assuming that a job will be less responsibility/stress and will make you happier because it is lower paid - total fallacy. This MAY be true, but I've done it before and it was just one big downside for me. Lower pay often means loss of autonomy and worse treatment by management as lower paid workers are often seen as easily replaceable ime.

Obviously it may work out and be the job of his dreams, but it may also be that there's a better compromise out there for him.

It sounds like this type of volunteering is his passion - which is great - but many of the folk I know that have turned a passion into a career have just killed their love of it completely. All the extra admin/politics/bullshit that you suddenly have to deal with can make you lose sight of why you're doing it. Then again, he only has one life. The worst that happens is he finds out he hates it and looks for another role that fits better.

Yes, the cut wont be quite so much once tax and commuting costs are taken into account but it's still a very significant cut.

I do think he'd find the new job quite stressful in a different way but there would be much more time off. I know the organisation and people in the role he wants aren't working more than their contracted hours.

"The worst that happens is he finds out he hates it and looks for another role that fits better."

Maybe so but in your mid to late 50s that's nowhere near as straightforward as it sounds

I recently left a job in a very similar field, you are right to consider the vicarious trama - it’s hard, but can be so rewarding and I’ll definitely return to that line of work when my children are older.

Cross posted with you about the volunteering. In that case I think he should go for it!

Better than him crashing and burning I would say.
Embrace it if you can.

Being mortgage free gives you so much more choice in life and I think you should take advantage of that if you can. I had a not particularly well paid job and took a pay cut of about two thirds to follow my dream (I am in my mid 50s) and I don't regret it for a minute.

I would say as long as you have some decent savings to back you up if anything goes wrong, support him all the way.

I would fully support it.

I have a very stressful, high pressure, ‘high power’ job, it pays the bills and leaves enough after that to live very well. When I hit 50 I’ll be quitting and finding something less pressurised, I’ll be mortgage free and have some savings so I won’t have to earn a great deal.

I’d do a new budget on his new wage and work out what the new retirement plan is. How many more years will you both have to work? also get him to talk to people who are in the role he wants to move to
about the stress involved and the level of support he can expect. I’d also start planning how you would use the holidays and think about what impact it will have on you. For example you may be able to reduce how much you do round the house as he is able to contribute more.
Then make a decision from there weighing up all the factors.

Just to clarify, would his major drop in salary mean a change to your plan of early retirement and would you need to work longer to support him?

Yes Mary. We were basically planning to save the difference between what he's earning now and what he would be earning under the new plan to "buy" some extra years' retirement. Under the new plan we'd both have to work until much closer to state pension age (or accept a much more frugal retirement)

Support him.

Marie, sorry!

Run the numbers properly. Include tax and work costs. It probably won’t be a 75% salary cut. Accurate figures may put your mind rest or at least ease it some what.

Also, consider quality of life, for both of you. If he is only doing 30 hours, can he pick up some of the household jobs that you would otherwise outsource like cleaning or gardening? And is there the possibility of consulting work in his profession?

Hope you can find something you are both happy with.

My OH was totally miserable in his management job, bullying, bad culture, long hours, travel etc etc

He's now in a job that pays a third of what it used to and so, OK, there's not such a security blanket but we can still pay the bills and he is so much happier.

I was in a similar situation years ago (without the money and in a town where unemployment was through the roof and getting another job was going to be nearly impossible) My parents were so supportive so could never be less than the same to someone in the same boat.

I think it's a big change from what you agreed, but I think it sounds an amazing lifestyle change. Maybe there's more in it for him than for you, but if he's trying to keep himself in one piece for a happier future then that's worth supporting. I bet he can get on well in that career too, and maybe take some temporary work in the holidays on summer holiday camps for young people or something. This could be a really fun new phase of your life together, doing some new hobbies together in the holidays. I would support it in a heartbeat.

I don’t think it’s as simple as “just support him” then. It’s very late in the day for him to expect your plans to unilaterally change to payroll his “dream”.

I’m sympathetic to his exhaustion.

Would a compromise be job hunting for role closer to home without such a massive pay drop?

I would encourage him. None of us know what is around the corner.
I worked in the NHS for nearly 40 years, really looked forward to my retirement. Finally got there and my health and life totally fell apart.

If your mortgage is paid off, you both have school holidays off, you could have a really nice quality of life ahead of you while still young and fit enough to enjoy it.

Do your sums on net income. Make sure he appreciates the likely emotional toll of the new job. Check how long the new job is likely to last.

Long commutes, esp with changes of train or tube, are stressful and exhausting. It sounds as if the new job would have stress, but he'd have more time to recoup his energy. He might also find that the stress is partly compensated for by the feeling that he is making a positive difference to someone's life.

I think he's got the right idea.

You also have to consider that he might burn out and has to give up work completely. Happened to a family member who still isn’t interested in finding another job and recovering from their breakdown.

I am being dramatic, of course, but everyone has a breaking point. The family member is the one I would least expected to suffer so badly, he’s always been very determined to succeed in the workplace even at the expense of family time.

I think at mid-50's I can understand wanting to 'wind down' a bit and I think providing it isn't going to cause you major financial hardship I'd let him do it. To be honest once he's paying less tax and hardly any travel costs you may find that in real terms it's not a big a pay decrease as you think. If things get a bit tight financially him and / or you could always look at getting a bit of work in the school holidays as well, or some flexible work from home.

OP, no idea about your savings situation, risk attitude or plans, but would there be scope for investing part of it so you could still retire early if things go well?

It sounds like you're both hard working and smart about how you've planned everything. I think it's a difficult decision because it probably feels like losing his earning potential for good as it would be difficult for him to return to earning more (if he ever wanted to) and you'd lose that big buffer you have whilst he's working in his current job. Of course there's also a risk he may not enjoy his new job or find it a lot harder than anticipated.

But it sounds like he's had a very demanding career for a while and tbh I think that's completely understandable he now wants to work less, closer to home and in a field that perhaps is his real passion. I really relate to this cause this is also my plan for when I'm his age, following a demanding professional career. It really isn't all about the money especially if the rest something else you'd like to devote your time in life. I think he's done his bit and totally deserves that freedom to try something new, iyswim. Another idea is whether he could work as a consultant in whatever field he is in, for example if the money gets tight or as a cushion if his new job doesn't work out?

Time spent together after many years of working hard is very precious and we can't put a price tag on it.

All the best, I'm sure you'll both be absolutely fine