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Original poster

DH wants to take a job that pays 25% of his current one

260 replies

ElderAve · 07/03/2020 07:20

Yes, one quarter of what he's currently earning.

ATM he has a very well paid, demanding job and a long (expensive) commute. Leaves the house at 5:30am and gets home c. 6pm. He's had some struggles with his boss of late, with increasing demands and conflicting priorities. He's mid 50s and starting to feel his age, the early starts are taking their toll.

DC are both working FT. I have a well paid job after a period of PT work while dc were young and the mortgage is paid off. In the last couple of years things have become very comfortable financially and we've been enjoying some luxuries that would have previously been out of reach.

The plan, until recently, was to build up some savings to supplement our pensions and retire in 5 years' time. So, we can afford it with some tweaks to our "luxury" spending but it probably puts retirement plans back.

The proposed new job would be very close to home and only 30 hours per week, term time only. I work in school so we would both have the long holidays. He'd also be really good at the job he wants to do, working with troubled young people.

Part of me loves the idea of a gentler lifestyle but there'd be no going back once it's done, he's not likely to get another job like the one he has at his age, if he changes his mind and I was looking forward to retiring nice and early (I'm a bit younger). I'm also concerned that whilst the work might be more rewarding there can be a high emotional toll which is not something he has experienced before.

Would you support this idea or be trying to find a way to make the current job work for a bit longer?

OP posts:
Movinghouseatlast · 07/03/2020 08:11

Of course he should take the new job. If you can survive without the money happiness is more important.

bugbhaer · 07/03/2020 08:11

I would give him all the support in the world for this decision.

MarieQueenofScots · 07/03/2020 08:11

The other thing to consider is how you would manage financially if you burned out and weren’t able to continue working if you’re doing the lion share of supporting financially.

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General money
endofthelinefinally · 07/03/2020 08:12

What is the situation re your pensions?
Find out and read the small print.
Get proper financial advice.

Settlersofcatan · 07/03/2020 08:12

Could he take a sabbatical from his job to try it out? Has he done any volunteering in the area? I think you should support him to do this but try to minimise the risk that he hates the new job

Poetryinaction · 07/03/2020 08:12

He sounds awesome annd deserves a change. Support him.

MyOtherProfile · 07/03/2020 08:12

Sounds great. I'd positively encourage him.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 07/03/2020 08:12

Support him. You never know what is around the corner. One of you may not reach the retirement you're planning. Do what is best for your lives now.

Lillybelle05 · 07/03/2020 08:13

I think the pension point is also very valid, you definitely should talk to an IFA, both of you.

Maryann1975 · 07/03/2020 08:14

With the original plan of retiring in 5 years, how old would you be when you retire? I don’t see why he should be working to the point of exhaustion, in a job he doesn’t want to be doing Anymore, so that you can have the luxury of retiring early.

If you work TTO, Would you be willing to get another job so you work all year round to increase your pay level?

It sounds like he is carrying the majority of the financial load while you have a job with lots of holidays and much shorter hours. Can you not see why he might find the new job appealing, he may well be quite jealous of your current working hours.

Shandied · 07/03/2020 08:14

If you can afford it I would absolutely support him.

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 07/03/2020 08:14

Oh god brilliant!! I wish my DH had that opportunity. I'm hoping in a few years when I've qualified a bit higher up my chain, we can afford for him to take some time off.

Like your DH, mine works long long hours, he doesn't get any holiday (4 days off a year, self employed) and he deserves a break to do what he wants for a bit.

MarieQueenofScots · 07/03/2020 08:15

Is there an actual role he has seen he wants to apply for?

If not and this is all a pipe dream at the moment, I would compromise on another “x years” in his current role, then revisit a move at that point.

Batmanandbobbin · 07/03/2020 08:16

Not read all replies butttt;

I halved my wage for the same sort of work. I absolutely love it, although my children are younger so term time work was the whole thing I went for because of a managerial job and balancing childcare took its toll on me. I thought I’d hate the job but I really really do love it. It is crap pay with next to no movement on that but I honestly love my job. My DH came to a coffee morning and in that moment he said I’m glad you took the change because he could see the positive impact I was making. It means he can’t retire early like he wanted and we now go abroad every other year Confused

Springpea · 07/03/2020 08:16

If he's unhappy, then that's no life for him Sad. He must know that leaving his job will disappoint and lead to a recalibration of your plans, so imagine how unhappy he must be to have raised it. I'd support him, even if it meant selling the house and downsizing.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/03/2020 08:16

You need to support him. He's worked long hours for years to support the family financially will you were doing he parenting work. It sounds like you've always worked well as a partnership. It's better this than he has a breakdown and has to quit work altogether.

MarieQueenofScots · 07/03/2020 08:18

He's worked long hours for years to support the family financially will you were doing he parenting work

Where did you get that from? The OP says she worked part time when the children were small.

Original poster
ElderAve · 07/03/2020 08:19

Mary Ann, he's not carrying the financial load, after deducting the cost of his commute we earn exactly the same! I don't have a little TTO job I have a demanding professional role that just happens to be much closer to home.I'm just as likely to burn out as he is. I also have much better occupational pension provision than he does, despite a period of PT working to care for his DC Grin

OP posts:
spongedog · 07/03/2020 08:22

I dont think the dream of this always works out as you might hope. I did very similar and am now mid-50's. I had worked in a full time professional job, well paid, good benefits. I took a career break and returned to a similar role, but different sector, with a paycut to a 1/3. Again part time. The job was as stressful, a lot of unpaid overtime, and the pp who mentioned that junior roles often receive less respect, was spot on in my view.

So I have done the lower paid job for nearly 3 years (2 employers) and am very seriously looking at returning to a similar job in my old industry. I am single and mortgage free, so dont even have to consider the impact to a partner.

I personally think asking for flexible working, perhaps dropping to 3 days per week, then volunteering for 1 day might give your DH the balance he wants. Many large organisations are now very interested in flexible working for employees close to retirement.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/03/2020 08:28

@mariequeenofscots yeah OP worked part time whereas he's been doing 13 hour days for god knows how long so she was able to work part time because that's what was best for their family...

I'm not taking away from her contributions - I'm saying he's pulled his weight to do what's best for the family, as has she. And now it's best for the family to allow him to take a wage cut to pursue something he actually wants to do.

mdh2020 · 07/03/2020 08:30

My husband changed careers and took a pay cut to do so when his pay had already fallen behind. To make up for this , he also took on a Saturday job . We had a tough few years before he gained promotion in his new job but was much happier and we never regretted our joint decision.

MarieQueenofScots · 07/03/2020 08:31

GiveHerHellFromUs

I guess my thinking is decisions have been made that are best for family, and now best for him. When does the OP get to do what’s best for her.

I agree a drop in hours with maybe some volunteer work would be a great compromise as a PP said. But expecting OP to work until retirement age now to fund his dream now is a massive ask.

Butterymuffin · 07/03/2020 08:32

I think that's crucial to also look at - what will the financial implications be if you want to do the same as him in a year or two? Or if one or both of you develop health problems - sorry to say but it does happen and can come out of the blue.

overnightangel · 07/03/2020 08:34

It’s a totally different kettle of fish doing something as a volunteer compared to it being your job. If I was him I’d crack on as he was for 4/5 years and do the volunteering but that’s just me

Disfordarkchocolate · 07/03/2020 08:38

I read the title and though that's mad. Read the whole post and thought - he should go for it.

There comes a point in some jobs where they are not worth the money, even well-paid ones. He's at that point. Staying longer will damage his physical as mental health.

Tell him to go for it and enjoy the change.