Dinner guest who won’t eat homemade food

[AnneLovesGilbert]

We’ve got a friend and his partner coming for dinner soon, this is the first time we’ll meet her. She doesn’t eat homemade food at other people’s houses so he suggested a takeaway or ready meals. We can’t go out as we’re rural as there isn’t anywhere close enough and we have a baby.

We love having people over and both really enjoy cooking so I don’t how to approach it. Money is a bit tight and we can only get takeaway from one place. If we got ready meals should I check what they like first? Would providing nibbles before the meal be okay if I open the packets in front of them?

Any advice?

If she has this odd restriction suggest she bring some food that she will eat and then serve everyone else whatever you want. She is a guest in your home, not in a restaurant.

That's weird and rude. Why won't she eat other people's food?

I would suggest they bring something for her, like you would an awkward child - and the rest of you eat the lovingly prepared homemade meal.

This is strange and quite rude. I don't know that I'd want to meet someone like it.

I wonder what her reasoning is for only eating out of takeaways etc and not peoples homes. Does she have an allergy?

Why doesn't she eat other people's homemade food? Allergies, food intolerance, picky? That would shape what I would do? I would suggest to be 'hospitable' do homemade for 3 and and find her something ready meal shed eat?

What?! Why doesn’t she eat home cooked food at other people’s houses?! Her reason would influence my response... severe allergies I would understand (although your post and their suggestions don’t sound like this is the case). Is she just being precious? If so I’d suggest alternative plans... just drinks or they can bring the takeaway with them.

From how you’ve written it, she sounds a bit rude to me.

She doesn’t eat home made food at other people’s houses??! Holy cow. Is this about hygiene? Can’t be, most delivery places are minging. Allergies/cross contamination? Has he said anything about this?

I’d tell him you really have no delivery/ take out options nearby bar the one. Happy to order something for her. Send her the menu so she can see the cost, and pay on delivery so she can see you hand the cash over. Let her be embarrassed at the transactional nature of it all (guest my arse).

Do a slap-up, three course meal for the rest of you and enjoy it. Slowly.

If the woman doesn’t finish her food, give her the leftovers to take home with her in a carrier bag. Make just enough for the rest of you. Plate up in the kitchen if necessary.

I’ve never heard anything like it. Some people are so fucking rude!

I had a housemate like that. She would eat supermarket pizza. Is that an option?

Yeah, maybe suggest she brings a ready meal she likes and offer to heat it for her. Then you can make something nice for everyone else.

tell her to bring her own. Sounds like a serious case of either foolishness or health anxiety. Going to be a fun evening...

this is actually really insulting so the least she can do is sort out her own food, and ask for your understanding.

Unless you’re neglecting to tell us you have a reputation for being a fucking awful cook?!

Get a ready meal and serve it in the plastic dish or tell her to bring her own. She is very rude.

Actually, if it were me I would downgrade from a dinner party to drinks. You can pointedly open the packets of nuts and crisps etc in front of her.

Or just suggest you meet in the pub.

I suppose I didn't think allergy, but then most people with allergies let you know. Rather than have you think they are really rude which is the understandable reaction to this!

That’s... weird.

Christ, she'd lucky to get a biscuit in my house.

I'd happily cater for allergies etc, but that takes the piss.

but but but....takeaway is literally the definition of other peoples food? That is the whole point, surely?

She doesn’t eat home-made food? She should stay at home.

Sorry, that doesn’t help you, but this sort of fuckery makes me so cross.

Unless she has allergies then this is pretty fucking rude!
I hope they already offered to bring her own food?
I don't get why people get hung up on homemade food being dirty. I worked in quite a few food factories growing up and they weren't exactly sterile environments! People were still often touching the ingredients with their bare hands, the same as you would do in a kitchen at home.

I think you should recreate the ‘Pombear anyone?’ Mumsnet dinner party.

Tell the truth! You can't afford takeaways or ready meals and she'll need to bring her own. Fucking rude as hell.

Have she seen some of the condemned kitchens? I’m sure yours is clean.

CRIKEY that's a weird and difficult one.

I think I'd ask them for a short list of readymeals she'll eat from Tesco or whatever and tell them you'e cooking homenade lasagne or whatever for the rest of you. She can have salad and chips or whatever you'e serving with it or not.

How weird! You’re being very patient about this! I’d do a kind of a buffet. Some of it home made (and particularly scrummy!) and some of it shop bought. You can all eat the good home made stuff and they can eat the processed food.